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Adult Science Jokes

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by genuinemommy, Nov 21, 2011.

Page 40 of 67
  1. hamsterball

    hamsterball Seeking New Outlets

    Location:
    Coming soon to a galaxy near you
    This reminds me of my college days...

    [​IMG]
    --- merged: Dec 24, 2013 at 6:10 PM ---
    I should add that no chemical engineers were harmed in the making of this diagram.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 31, 2013
    hamsterball, Dec 24, 2013
    #781
  2. MSD

    MSD Very Tilted

    Location:
    CT
    An FTL neutrino walks into a bar. The bartender checks that the cable is plugged in right and the neutrino disappears.
     
    MSD, Dec 25, 2013
    #782
    • Like Like x 1
  3. hamsterball

    hamsterball Seeking New Outlets

    Location:
    Coming soon to a galaxy near you
    [​IMG]
     
    hamsterball, Dec 26, 2013
    #783
    • Like Like x 1
  4. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    [​IMG]

    I'm hungry...mmm :cool:
     
    rogue49, Dec 27, 2013
    #784
    • Like Like x 2
  5. hamsterball

    hamsterball Seeking New Outlets

    Location:
    Coming soon to a galaxy near you
    [​IMG]
     
    hamsterball, Dec 27, 2013
    #785
  6. hamsterball

    hamsterball Seeking New Outlets

    Location:
    Coming soon to a galaxy near you
    [​IMG]
     
    hamsterball, Dec 28, 2013
    #786
  7. GLASSCUTTER43

    glasscutter43 New Member

    A proctologist pulls a thermometer out of his shirt pocket and says" Some asshole stole my pen".
    --- merged: Dec 29, 2013 3:43 AM ---
    A professor has six medical students on their first day on the diabetic ward. As the professor picks up a patient's urine sample he tells the students that a diabetic's urine tastes sweet. He then stirs the urine with his finger and then licks a finger and passes the sample to the first student in line. The shocked student looks at the professor, then the other five and stirs the urine and licks their finger while passing the sample to the next student. After they all taste the urine the professor tells them they learned a very valuable lesson in observation today as he stirred the urine with this finger but he licked that finger.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 5, 2014
    glasscutter43, Dec 28, 2013
    #787
    • Like Like x 2
  8. hamsterball

    hamsterball Seeking New Outlets

    Location:
    Coming soon to a galaxy near you
    [​IMG]
     
    hamsterball, Dec 29, 2013
    #788
  9. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    Yes, you can...and that's an adult science fact...no joke. ;)

     
    rogue49, Dec 29, 2013
    #789
    • Like Like x 1
  10. hamsterball

    hamsterball Seeking New Outlets

    Location:
    Coming soon to a galaxy near you
    [​IMG]
     
    hamsterball, Dec 29, 2013
    #790
  11. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    A blowfly goes into a bar and asks: "Is that stool taken?"
     
    rogue49, Dec 29, 2013
    #791
    • Like Like x 1
  12. hamsterball

    hamsterball Seeking New Outlets

    Location:
    Coming soon to a galaxy near you
    [​IMG]
     
    hamsterball, Dec 30, 2013
    #792
    • Like Like x 3
  13. Street Pattern

    Street Pattern Very Tilted

    Location:
    The American Midwest
    [​IMG]
     
    Street Pattern, Dec 30, 2013
    #793
  14. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    A friend who's in liquor production,
    Has a still of astounding construction,
    The alcohol boils,
    Through old magnet coils,
    He says that it's proof by induction.
    ;)
     
    rogue49, Dec 30, 2013
    #794
    • Like Like x 1
  15. hamsterball

    hamsterball Seeking New Outlets

    Location:
    Coming soon to a galaxy near you
    [​IMG]
     
    hamsterball, Dec 30, 2013
    #795
    • Like Like x 1
  16. fjmollot

    fjmollot Getting Tilted

    :):):)​
     
    fjmollot, Dec 31, 2013
    #796
  17. hamsterball

    hamsterball Seeking New Outlets

    Location:
    Coming soon to a galaxy near you
    I had a professor in grad school who used to refer to biology as "applied chemistry." Made me smile.
     
    hamsterball, Dec 31, 2013
    #797
  18. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    A new monk shows up at a monastery where the monks spend their time making copies of ancient books.
    The new monk goes to the basement of the monastery saying he wants to make copies of the originals
    rather than of others' copies so as to avoid duplicating errors they might have made.
    Several hours later the monks, wondering where their new friend is, find him crying in the basement.
    They ask him what is wrong...
    and he says "the word is CELEBRATE, not CELIBATE!"




    Happy New Year...may you celebrate on this day...and not be celibate. :D
     
    rogue49, Dec 31, 2013
    #798
    • Like Like x 1
  19. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    A psychoanalyst shows a patient an inkblot, and asks him what he sees...

    The patient says: "A man and woman making love."
    The psychoanalyst shows him a second inkblot, and the patient says: "That's also a man and woman making love."
    The psychoanalyst says: "You are obsessed with sex."
    The patient says: "What do you mean I am obsessed?
    You are the one with all the dirty pictures.''


    Damn straight I am...TGIF :cool:
     
    rogue49, Jan 3, 2014
    #799
    • Like Like x 1
  20. hamsterball

    hamsterball Seeking New Outlets

    Location:
    Coming soon to a galaxy near you
    Scientific Pick Up Lines

    You're like an exothermic reaction, you spread your hotness everywhere!

    Do you have 11 protons? Cause your sodium fine

    If i was an enzyme, i'd be DNA helicase so i could unzip your genes

    Billions of neutrinos penetrate you every second...Mind if I join in?

    You must be auxin, because your causing me to have rapid stem elongation.

    I wish I were adenine because then I could get paired with U

    My bond length might be short, but it can still give you some "electron density"

    We have great chemistry, lets do some biology

    My sudden protracted cardiac arrhythmia tells me I love you m

    Let's work out our orbicularis oris muscles together!
     
    hamsterball, Jan 5, 2014
    #800
    • Like Like x 2
Page 40 of 67