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Things You Just Can't Understand

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by snowy, Jun 25, 2014.

  1. Stan

    Stan Resident Dumbass

    Location:
    Colorado
    Some of us get it.

    I'm pretty fond of my daughters; but that empty nest crap is highly overrated. Grandma and grandpa have a life again.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  2. Herculite

    Herculite Very Tilted

    As I said I couldn't have grasped the kid thing until after I had them, and it really was after the first year. I call it genetic happiness, some things we do to keep our genes happy. Sex is one of those things, kids is another. I've known more than one person who was anti-having kids, until they had them, then it was a complete transformation.

    I've also know people who are miserable parents and shouldn't have had them.

    I'm a completely free man next week. Wife free, kid free. I'm not looking forward to it.
     
  3. Baraka_Guru

    Baraka_Guru Möderätor Staff Member

    Location:
    Toronto
    It's hormonal. It's because you now have less testosterone and more prolactin.

    Fatherhood’s physical and social changes: But dads have to live with kids to get benefits.

    I'll have to make peace with my warrior spirit if I don't have children to change me into something more nurturing. :p
     
    • Like Like x 1
  4. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    Well, I pick up languages pretty fast...including the accents (not that I remember them fully if I don't use them, but it comes back quick)
    But I just can't get my tongue around Farsi, Arabic and Pashto. (hell, even Chinese, either Mandarin or Cantonese are easier for me)

    --------

    But in all seriousness, I don't understand unrealistic expectations.
    How people just want what they want when they want it.
    Can't you just consider the logistics involved...the effort?
    Things are not easy, not black & white.

    And I don't know how people can lash out and just let others die or go,
    just because to do otherwise is an inconvenience, annoyance or easier for you.

    Can't you consider the consequences??
    Can't you consider the benefits?
    Can't you consider the impact?

    Nope, I don't understand...I don't "want" to understand...so you will be buried.

    Some of "supposedly" the most smartest and skilled people I've met...can be short-sighted.
    Acting before understanding.
    Acting because of pettiness.

    What counts more in a sentence?
    The words?
    The grammar?
    The meaning? (or context or intent...)

    Most focus on "worrisome" words or things.
    Not on what's being said or why.
     
    Last edited: Jun 27, 2014
  5. arkana

    arkana Very Tilted

    Location:
    canada
    I think if we all unpack our beliefs we would find many things that actually make little sense. One man's belief is another man's "huh?"

    I don't understand why we accept that car travel is a normal thing.

    I don't understand people who say "we should hang" and don't actually make plans to do so.

    I don't understand people who ask me why I'm not vegan anymore, when the same people spent so much time and energy interrogating me on why I did it in the first place.
    --- merged: Jun 27, 2014 at 9:04 PM ---

    View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jW3PFC86UNI
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 4, 2014
    • Like Like x 2
  6. Borla

    Borla Moderator Staff Member

    How some people can lug around anger, resentment, and grudges like they do. Seems to me like it would be very tiring.
     
    • Like Like x 3
  7. Speed_Gibson

    Speed_Gibson Hacking the Gibson

    Location:
    Wolf 359
    Reminds me of something I heard a BT2 say one time in the Navy. I wrote this down so I wouldn't forget it and I could use it for a character in my sci-fi universe. Not my personal view but some people feel this way - "Forgiveness is for people too weak to hold a grudge."
     
  8. Borla

    Borla Moderator Staff Member

    Yeah, I feel pretty much the exact opposite. Takes a much bigger person to move on.

    I'm not saying be naive and let your guard down, definitely learn from bad experiences with people. But to carry it around and let it cause you to carry a grudge and get angry (especially when it is with people you see very infrequently, only interact with online, or that don't even know you feel that way) is like drinking poison and expecting someone else to die from it.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  9. snowy

    snowy so kawaii Staff Member

    You are amazing and I miss you so much. You're very right. I think if more people spent time around you directly, they would likely understand more of your post.

    You should consider starting a vegan cult.

    Kisses.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 5, 2014
    • Like Like x 1
  10. Fangirl

    Fangirl Very Tilted

    Location:
    Arizona
    In re: the kids thing. Is it a matter of your family and friends and geo-location? Like in smaller towns, in more traditional environments it might be perceived that you are missing out without kids?
    And how you were raised?For example, my dad was vehemently against overcrowding the world any more than it was and I so looked up to him and I never considered children, never pictured myself as a mother.
    And finally, that peer-pressure thing where many of your friends are marrying and then starting families?
    I dunno, I just find it easier to not get annoyed by behaviour, if I understand where it is coming from.

    Please don't slam me, but I have noticed one thing about child-free people. They seem a bit more into themselves. Sometimes it comes across to me like selfishness because other than donating a kidney or the like, having a kid is a selfless act. You basically have to subsume your life for theirs for "X"-amount of time. Child-free folks haven't done this, made this incredible sacrifice and again I'm observing, not judging.

    I have only one younger sib and we are am quite close. He had a vasectomy at age 25, he was so sure he'd never want to procreate. I've supported him all the way; explaining to our mom umpteen times "why" a person would chose to be child-free. I get it.
     
  11. arkana

    arkana Very Tilted

    Location:
    canada
    Can there be different sacrifices that you are failing to observe in the child-free?

    I don't know if every parent sees a division between "their life" and the kid's life.

    And... merely procreating isn't a sacrifice. One can neglect to raise their offspring and that's hardly a sacrifice or selfless act. Perhaps people sacrifice the opportunity to have children because their calling demands it.
     
    • Like Like x 4
  12. Fangirl

    Fangirl Very Tilted

    Location:
    Arizona
    Oh, absolutely! That's why I'mm putting it out there--so I can better understand from myriad perspectives.
    Mm. Not sure I'm understanding this but I defo do not want all to lump all non-parents or all parents together.
    Very true. Raising a child from birth to nest-exit would better articulate my intended meaning. The last thing I want to do is say being a parent is being a martyr; it is indeed a choice. No one should be judged or pressured regardless of their choice.

    True.
    I respect that humans beings are unique and have our own needs, desires, limitations and aspirations.

    Even so, I get a bit feather-ruffled when my child-free in-laws boast about all their exploits. They consider their cats their children and cats are NOT children. They are fifty-years old and have never had to deal with an infant with pneumonia or take a phone call from the grade school that you need to meet your kid's teacher in the ER because your child knocked himself unconscious on the playground.

    There is a unique emotional toll that parenting takes on a person--or at least that it took on me.

    Sometimes I get pigeon-holed in the stereotypical, one-size-fits-all parent category and that doesn't feel great, either.

    All I can do is listen and try to learn.
     
    Last edited: Jun 28, 2014
    • Like Like x 1
  13. Baraka_Guru

    Baraka_Guru Möderätor Staff Member

    Location:
    Toronto
    It would seem more of a sacrifice if it were adoption rather than procreation, the latter which might require at least a bit of selfishness (especially if it's intentional and requires great effort).

    Sorry for being brief. I'm on my phone.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  14. ralphie250

    ralphie250 Fully Erect Donor

    Location:
    At work..
    women
     
    • Like Like x 3
  15. arkana

    arkana Very Tilted

    Location:
    canada
    That you see them as a separate group will be a barrier to understanding them.
     
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  16. snowy

    snowy so kawaii Staff Member

    We are mysterious enigmas, not people! Jeez, get with the program.
     
    • Like Like x 2
  17. redravin

    redravin Cynical Optimist Donor

    Location:
    North
    I can't understand people who are proud that they don't read.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  18. DamnitAll

    DamnitAll Wait... what?

    Location:
    Central MD
    ...or can't spell.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  19. redravin

    redravin Cynical Optimist Donor

    Location:
    North

    I can't spell worth a damn because phonics was the rage for learning to read when I was a kid but I can use Spellchecker like a mofo.
    Understanding you have the problem is the first step.
     
  20. Speed_Gibson

    Speed_Gibson Hacking the Gibson

    Location:
    Wolf 359

    Hukd-on-Fonix-764817.jpg