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#MeToo

Discussion in 'Tilted Life and Sexuality' started by rogue49, Oct 28, 2017.

  1. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    @Lindy and @Herculite , I'm not going to get into conspiracy theories.
    If you want to talk about ethics for this, that fine. There's a high bar set for murder and high crimes.
     
  2. Herculite

    Herculite Very Tilted

    Ummm the charges made against him, and his payouts to them are not theories.

    Don't forget Clinton was disbarred.

    Clinton Will Pay $850,000 to End Paula Jones Suit
    Clinton Will Pay $850,000 to End Paula Jones Suit

    Its like how suddenly left wing feminists are defending Al Franken, lets be honest about these types of thing, its only bad until its "our guy" or there is no way to mentally justify.
     
  3. redravin

    redravin Cynical Optimist Donor

    Location:
    North
    The whole Clinton being disbarred is a bit more complicated than that.
    He mostly resigned rather than getting brought up on charges for lying about getting a blow job.
    His license was suspended in Arkansas (like the Obama's were in Illinois) but I don't think he ever intended to practice there again anyway.

    As to Al, I think the only defense is that he apologized, she accepted and now there should be a proper investigation to include everyone on Capital Hill.
    A badly done joke doesn't excuse making someone feel uncomfortable.
    It is unacceptable and he seems to know that.
     
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  4. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    ‘I am not okay’: The remarkable response to the Charlie Rose allegations, from his CBS colleagues

    Y'know...one thing that many forget is it's not just the targets and alleged perps that are affected.
    But those close to either.
    I've got to respect how these newscasters are handling the shocking accusations of their longtime co-host AND friend.
    And everyone reacts to it differently.
    Some can be all business, some are rocked to the core and are disoriented and even scared.

    And even if found to be untrue in the long run, ties are broken...the floodwaters have done their damage, rot even setting in.
    It's a surreal moment...twisting your stomach.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  5. Lindy

    Lindy Moderator Staff Member

    Location:
    Nebraska
    These situations so often lead, sadly, to throwing the baby out with the bathwater. Whatever good contributions to the person's profession or craft are just lost in the scandal. Years of accomplishments tarnished because the guy couldn't keep his hands to himself and his dick in his pants.
     
    • Agree Agree x 1
  6. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    I've learned 2 new trending phrases....
    • sexual impropriety
    • sexual misconduct
    Which I actually agree with...and is a better use for what's going on for most of these reveals than "sexual assault" which is just under Rape.
    They are at a higher level and should be taken seriously from legal context.
    Like comparing a punch to the face versus murder.
    Or a verbal cursing out in public versus a punch to the face.

    Is it wrong??? YES, no doubt. And all should be outed and addressed.
    Sexual situations are gray often. And can vary in levels of impact and context...social, physical, legal, etc.

    For example...and honestly, it's a weird week for me...but I've had multiple women at different times, even complete strangers, do "sexual impropriety" to me, if I'm interpreting it correct. (don't ask, it was "different"...)
    Now, I didn't call it out because I didn't want to make a scene or an awkward moment...but these ladies were definitely going over boundaries without asking me first.
    If one of them had gone as far as grabbing my ass or junk or kissing me...then that would be "sexual misconduct", I would think.

    What do you think???
     
  7. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    Lawmakers call for swift consequences in harassment cases but are divided over calls for resignation

    Ok...good question
    How much is too much? How much is not enough??

    Hard part is 3 fold
    One side is that politicians have repressed/avoided that question for TOO long.
    The other side is you don't want to get rid of MOSTLY good reps who've been stupid...throwing out the baby with bathwater.
    AND this is politics....you've got to KNOW that it could be a easy ploy or leverage to play against your opponents or those against your agenda. (whether true OR not)

    This is going to be a Pandora's Box for a while.

    And this shit ain't new under the sun, because it's as old as the original creation of the legend of Pandora's Box...if not earlier.
    Thousands of years of this BS...this is just the next wave in the cycle. :rolleyes:

    Y'know what?? WE are the suckers...because we as whole keep voting these idiots in...and keep them in.
     
  8. cynthetiq

    cynthetiq Administrator Staff Member Donor

    Location:
    New York City
    We’re at risk of turning #metoo into rush to blame all men

    This happened in 1997 at MTV. Some people were harassed and everyone had to take Sexual Harassment and Diversity training. Now understand that everyone was fucking everyone. Guys were fucking guys, girls were fucking guys, girls were fucking girls. Everyone was sleeping with each other. It was nuts! I hooked up with 2 people at that office and probably could have hooked up with several more.

    Also, happened at MTV I had to talk to one of my staff about him talking on the phone to his friends about his exploits from the weekend. No, it wasn't directed to anyone inside the office, but in a cubicle, words will carry to other people's cubicles. I had to tell him to be more discrete. He didn't realize it. End of story.
     
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  9. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    well, again Consent is key.

    1. ALL have to learn to draw lines, boundaries and terms. They cannot just "let it happen" because of whatever reason... (fear, shame, awkwardness, politics, peer pressure, etc and so on...)
    2. ALL have to immediately accept, stop and withdraw immediately if someone indicates ANY negative, including body movement (pushing away, saying 'no', shaking head, etc)

    Sorry, no more people just getting "taken"...unless you've agreed ahead (don't care if its a fantasy or desire, too much legal impact or misinterpretation)
    No more saying...No, Stop, etc...while in throws of passion...unless you've agreed BEFORE.
    Safe words need to start becoming more of a norm. Don't be surprised if you have to stop at ANY point in the situation, even in the middle of it.
    ALL need to start becoming more socially aware and discussing like adults.

    EVERYONE is "jail bate" for ANY age or situation, unless agreed to BEFORE. And you're going to have to assume. Unless ya wanna lawyer up constantly.

    Problem is, this HAS screwed it up for many of the positive spontaneous sexual situations. Because many break the speed limit and have bad "driving habits", so to speak.
    So now, everyone is going to have to do "defensive driving" AND new laws are going to happen.
    Cops and judges will now say...the limit IS the limit. With people having to understand this or suffer the consequences.

    Welcome to a new age for men and women. (gay, straight...and all points inbetween)

    And lots new training...grown ups ARE going to have to train kids now...just like driving.
    No more avoiding the discussions or thinking it's "bad" or inappropriate. Too many legal consequences.

    Maybe that's a good thing in the long run.
    EVERYONE starts taking responsibility...both asking & waiting AND setting boundaries/lines/terms

    It's just going to be a very bumpy road until it smooths out.
     
    Last edited: Nov 27, 2017
  10. Herculite

    Herculite Very Tilted

    Or we just wait till this blows over. People are people, humans are humans, and if you get sexually excited things are going to happen.

    This isn't a new age in my opinion, just another shark attack summer (2001 when before 9/11 all the news was about shark attacks, and it turns out there were less that year than the year before). Peoples memory collectively seems about only 2 years.

    If I'm making out with a woman, I'm sorry I'm not asking where I can touch next, I'm aware enough to know how far to go.

    Edit: I should add to be clear. I'm older now, I know I'm not going to change, with sex being what sex is to an organism don't think we can expect big changes there, but maybe my age has me not seeing what the 20 somethings will see and act like when they are my age. Personally the only way I can see this being a thing in the future is for women to become much more sexually aggressive so we as men don't have to guess and judge. I'm not sure for many though if this is in their genes.

    As a swinger (yes yes I know everyone knows) who goes to sex parties, with women aged mid 20's to late 40's, who are there basically to get laid, who will sometimes be partially to fully nude, they still don't just come out and say "lets fuck" 90% of the time. Its still basically the mans job to approach, gauge, and escalate.
     
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  11. redravin

    redravin Cynical Optimist Donor

    Location:
    North
    I don't know, I really don't think this is going to 'blow over'.
    I think this is the beginning of a sea change in the way sexual consent is handled.
    Despite everyone howling wolf that this will destroy passionate moments, I really don't think that is true.
    Most of the young people I know have pretty straight forward relationships when it comes down to sex.
    They just agree on the guidelines ahead of time and when someone steps over those lines they walk away (or press charges depending on how egregious).
    This will take time to work out but I think in the long run we will be the better for it (or at least my daughters will be).
     
    • Like Like x 1
  12. JohnKelly407

    JohnKelly407 New Member

    Location:
    US
    Isn't # the pound sign?

    #metoo

    Pound me too? Awkward

    John K
     
    • Funny Funny x 1
  13. Herculite

    Herculite Very Tilted

  14. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    Well, Matt Lauer been kind of a dick to others working with him...and sometimes arrogant. So it doesn't surprise me much.
    But Garrison Keillor??? :confused:
    Garrison Keillor fired for alleged 'inappropriate behavior' by Minnesota Public Radio
     
  15. Herculite

    Herculite Very Tilted

    I was thinking this is one a day but its really two a day lately. Funny thing is I didn't even know Garrison Keillor's name until now so I know less of him than I did Lauer. I'm not a celb person and that seems to be a good thing currently. Bill Cosby was bad enough.

    Edit... ok 3.

    NPR Chief News Editor Departs After Harassment Allegations
     
    Last edited: Nov 29, 2017
  16. redravin

    redravin Cynical Optimist Donor

    Location:
    North
  17. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    Y'know...I'm not really for either side, male or female, all screw up...although I do KNOW and believe women in great volume have gotten a bad and raw deal through the past and even now.
    BUT
    I "wish" everyone, especially women, would stop saying they are "heartbroken", that the perp is a "dear" friend, and so on...
    Shocked, sure...Surprise, yep...and so on.

    Please stop giving the obvious bad behaving people the benefit of the doubt and being passive to them and being emphatic to the perp.
    Sure...if it's a vague and unconfirmed allegation...perhaps. Or the emergence is political "gotcha".
    But if it's blatant and trending...a patten, STOP.
    This is why we have a maniac at the helm now.
    WHY? give a break to people who have done terrible things??

    They fucked up. REPEATEDLY. Over the top action, not just "slips" or miscommunication/misinterpretations.
    Please stop using love, etc...and other romantic verbiage to soften the perp's image
    Sure, they're your friend
    But obviously your friend has lied to you and hurt others and led a double life.
    Would you do the same to a thief or murderer??

    Anyways, this makes me cringe whenever I hear the remaining announcers speak. (and strangely enough...it's ladies, not guys -- correct me if I'm wrong, please)
    Just my opinion, but it annoys the crap out of me.

    I'm all for innocent until proven guilty, truly...but when its obvious and a pattern...shut it down.
    They need to build trust again, if ever.
    I certainly wouldn't expect people to treat me decent if I was a dick...no matter how charming or decent-looking, I might be.

    But I guess that's the problem, people DO judge a book by its cover (or power, or brand) and believe the hype/spin/scam.
    And the hustle keeps happening... :mad:
     
    Last edited: Nov 30, 2017
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  18. Herculite

    Herculite Very Tilted

    90% of this wouldn't be happening if people followed a old adage, and its a universal truth if you ask me.

    Don't shit where you eat.
     
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  19. Herculite

    Herculite Very Tilted



    This has been floating around today. Life does come at you fast.
     
  20. cynthetiq

    cynthetiq Administrator Staff Member Donor

    Location:
    New York City