Are relationships worth it?

I've come to the painful conclusion that I should have stayed single. The problem with my relationships is that I'M in them. I'm not sure there really is someone fully compatible with this model of humanity.

I have seen some good relationships, they do exist.

 

"Love is giving someone the power to hurt you terribly... and hoping they don't. And we never trust anyone as easily as we did the first time."

Everyone needs to decide for themselves if that's a risk they want to take.

 

Jadzia loved slot machines.
As a mathematician she was perfectly aware of how bad the odds were but she still enjoyed the sound, the lights, the social aspect, and since people nowadays aren't as willing to just drop money without some action, the entertainment factor.
Games are based on popular shows, have complex rules, are sometimes vaguely racist, can suck money way faster than you realize, but can be a lot of fun.

 

...

 

I have had a relationship that was worth it even though it ended / didnt work out. I have had many that I do not feel were worth my time, effort, stress, energy, money,
I have recently decided to take a long break from dating. Im starting to not miss sex and affection as much as I used to.

 

Relationships only work when two people decide that divorce is " not an option " and that respecting each other through or mistakes and mishaps and successes is the rule. So many, too many, throw in the towel, when a fight is lost. What happened in my life time, all I see is marriage in a day and divorce just as fast. My wife cheated on me, with a couple. I felt so be-trade, however it was the guilt that lead her to leave, forgiveness would have came, it just would have taken some work and time. When a person takes care, truly takes care of another and their family, and extended family and is... " all in " that is a person to keep and help and love. My wife was an alcoholic, and I had full knowledge that rocky times we're in the equation. She loved me but allowed her addiction to take hold of her. I tried to help, however her vises took charge of her life, it wasn't her. So sad some times, for me, there are days when I miss her and my heart hurts. So I eat me spinach and go on.

 

I was in a pawn shop having a look around, and overheard a few of the employees discussing one of them getting married in a couple of weeks. The young man being discussed, very early 20s, noticed me listening and asked if I was married (FTR 97% of the time I wear my signet ring as a wedding band, it's a long story). I answered yes, for over 27 years.

He then asked how I knew that I was ready to get married. I replied, "I've always relationship person, but everyone is different. To be honest, you really won't know if you're ready to be married until you're married, despite how ready you think you are. A lot things come to light when you're with someone 24/7/365. Your flaws, their flaws, things you didn't know about each other and you don't like. The passion will die down, and that's when the work starts."

I think that the above can be applied to relationships as well.
--- merged: Jun 9, 2015 2:15 PM ---

Liking the above comments wasn't enough, it deserves to be quoted.

 

In general for the first 3 years or so of a relationship each person's brain is going to be filled with chemicals basically putting things on "easy mode". After that dies down genuine companionate love can start to develop and that's what really lasts for the long haul, not chemical driven feelings of infatuation. The problem is it takes real work to build a real relationship and not something based on infatuation, and many people get addicted to that feeling or think they're no longer "in love" when the chemicals cool down.

Credit to Mac Hall's continuation comic, Three Panel Soul, for the quote.

 

I like it when people give proper attribution/credit for quotes!

 

Coming up on 30 years for us.

 

This is actually why I am a big fan of the way Mrs. Levite and I did things, once we got engaged. We deliberately had a year-long engagement, during which we pre-emptively did couples counseling, in order to ensure that we were building a solid and effective foundation of communication and understanding on which to begin our marriage. It has paid off in spades: six years in, including some rough stuff life threw at us (unemployment, getting screwed by employers, infertility, deaths in family), we are constantly telling one another we love each other, constantly stopping to appreciate one another and our relationship, deeply happy, and still having fucking awesome sex.

 

There's a reason artists have been held in esteem since the beginning of art itself, and why love is one of the most widely covered subjects. Although personally I've found that Van Halen have best captured my thoughts of the last 7 months.

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1VaEdKwXJhM

 

I really wanted that 30 yr mark or even a lifetime, however everyone I know is either unhappy and should be divorced or divorced. no sex that many yrs into it, lack of concern for the other feelings, in many ways people find complacent behaviour and then justify their feelings by remembering a hurt or a let down from their partner. so not in my life, it's ok too. I like myself. For you @Street Pattern my hope is your marriage is happy and lasts. my parents threw in the towel at the 30 yr mark. both searched for happiness and ended up miserable.