3 years

It has been 3 years...

That feeling is still there. What could I have done to make it less hurtful. The barrage of insults, the feelings of inferiority, the frustrations that what I did would never be enough, but maybe if I tried a little harder things would get better. What am I doing wrong to make her so angry? No matter what I did, it was wrong. Why am I so useless...

It has been 3 years....

The emotional wounds are there with long lasting psychological scarring, inhibiting my day to day abilities to go on, interfering with my ability to get any real emotional connection with any woman ever again. They are not her...I know this...but I cant get past it. I am still a wreck, just in a different way. when will this end?

It has been 3 years...

I am finally able to talk about the nightmares, trying to get help for my problems, but where is the help? No support groups for men, Cant talk to my friends abut it...cause I will just hear the man up, or don't be a pussy. Psychologist gives me this weird look as if unsure weather to believe me or not. there is no pill for that. I still feel helpless, alone...

It's been 3 years,..

Please help, I need this pain to end.

 

Please talk to someone professionally if you have not tried that already. If you have tried it, try a different person. You are putting too much guilt on yourself, you can't be responsible for other people's happiness, only yours. I don't know your story but you have to stop being the victim. You have to find joy outside of what happened in the past. That is not you today, that was you yesterday. Today is a new day my friend.

Sent from my SM-G935V using Tapatalk

 

In my opinion, in every relationships you always have to compare good things vs bad things. If the first significantly exceeds the second, then everything is ok. If both are at the same level, then you have to seriously question the continuation of these relationships….
In your case I can’t imagine what could transform your “nightmare” into something enjoyable……..

It has been 3 years….. since you gave your life away to someone, who doesn’t appreciate you….. so stop this now!

There won’t be any improvement……. No matter what you do…… in good relationships everything flows with ease…and there is no need for “if I tried harder” and similar bulls**t…..
You have to find another partner…. There is no other solution….

Everything else will only prolong your current agony and will steal from you months, days and hours from being with partner who really appreciates you……….

 

The hardest part is being able to move on. To not let this effect the new relationships I have tried to et myself into. I just want life to feel normal again. cant change the past...but trying to make a new future. Everytime I think I have healed...it hits me again. I pulled myself out of clinical depression on my own before...I have pulled myself out of being a drug addict before...but this....I cant seem to shake.

 

Three years is a very long time to still be that heavily affected by a broken relationship (I admit that is harsh and I write it without knowing the full story). You need to try some different professional help.

 

Have to say 'this'.

 

I'm not educated, just a blue collar guy, however you seem obsessed with your pain. I always do this myself and would recommend it. Drowned your frowns with alcohol and smoke ya some pall malls and weed. Find another lover and then break up with her. As to pass that pain along. And ya even consider switching sides or...
Man get over it. Your life is passing you by while you muddle around in your emotional history.

 

This, to a tee.

Maybe not man-up, but take control and be responsible for your emotional state. Dont waste another precious day of your life dwelling on the past, or what could have been. Everybody who has some age under their belt has disappoinment; you cant let that own you. Get a little bit of healthy resentment. Get in great shape. Ditch the beta. Get confident. Your life will change from a mire of self pity and "what if I'd done this?" crap thats dfagging you down and shutting you in. You will be beating them away with a whip and chair!

 

@Mbraitman I'm not sure if you are still here but just in case hope you might give an update. Have you changed therapy situations? Were you abused by your previous partner? I hope you have found someone that listens to you and that you've started putting your pieces back together.