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Problems with wife's divorced sister

Discussion in 'Tilted Life and Sexuality' started by nckgmd, Mar 23, 2017.

  1. nckgmd New Member

    Location:
    australia
    G'day, I'm really confused about my wife's sister. She divorced her husband 5 years ago and since then has been asking to move into my place. She even wants to give me her money and build a house with her. She has never shown any interest in me, like flirting but I'm one of the first she asks for a favour. But 8 months ago she did force her way in to live at my place and immediately tried to lead me on. She's very hard to ignore as she's very attractive. I eventually forced her to move into her parents place. I'm pretty certain that she has a "fuck buddy" but that relationship is bound to go nowhere ( I know that for sure). So with kicking her out I thought she may give up and just stop. No. She keeps visiting and is now playing "mind games" with me.
    I just don't get it.. I don't believe she likes me. I'm really worried about her intentions.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  2. mudholestomper New Member

    Location:
    Texas
    I'm confused as well…but not by your wife's sister, but instead by you

    Why are you wasting time typing this post when you could be in a hotel room plowing and plundering your hot sister in law?


    Sent from my Apple iPhone 7…which, as you know, clearly defines me as being superior to you in every way
     
  3. genuinemommy

    genuinemommy Moderator Staff Member

    She probably does not like her parents. She probably wants to live with her sister because she feels happy and safe in her company.

    You sound like you are trying to blame this woman for whatever unwholesome thoughts you have for her. That's wrong.

    There are admittedly women who want to have sex with their sister's husbands, but most likely she has zero interest in you, and you are interpreting her attempts to be a kind person incorrectly.

    Please speak with your wife about your concerns.
     
  4. cynthetiq

    cynthetiq Administrator Staff Member Donor

    Location:
    New York City
    What mind games? How did she lead you on?

    You wife doesn't see these things? Most women if not siblings are keen on this kind of stuff so much that they can even imagine these kinds of scenarios and sleights when they don't exist. So examples please.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  5. ralphie250

    ralphie250 Fully Erect Donor

    Location:
    At work..
    communication is the key
     
    • Like Like x 2
  6. kramus

    kramus what I might see

    I had a conversation with the ex back when her newly divorced sister lived w us. SIL's moves on me actually angered my parents, they were so obvious.
    The ex figures it was an ego play on her sisters part. If SIL could fuck me it would be a one-up on Big Sister (a very real dynamic that plays out in many families), and a validation of her own (considerable) status as a desired person.
    I simply refused to relax into her arms, kept my hands to myself, and in time she moved out and got herself a young, tall, dark handsome sweetheart.
    It all worked out fine, and I had a good BIL/SIL relationship w her for the next 20 years.
     
    • Like Like x 3
  7. Chris Noyb

    Chris Noyb Get in, buckle up, hang on, & be quiet.

    Location:
    Large City, TX
    I'm thinking your SIL's 'interest' in you is much more about your SIL wanting to live with her sister than any actual interest in you. But that's hard to say, some details about how she "lead you on" and " plays mind games" would be helpful. Possibly she lead you on in an attempt to get you interested so that she could continue living with you. Maybe the mind games are payback for giving her the boot.

    Questions:
    Why can't she live on her own (she had enough money to afford to pay rent and to build a house with sis & you??)?
    Is she still living with her parents?
    What does your wife think about sis living with you?
    Did/Does your wife see what's happening?


    --------------------------------

    One of my SILs (she never lived with us) thought nothing of walking around in very sheer/see-through bras, and panties. She would have lengthy conversations with me dressed that way (her, not me :D). My wife dismissed it as her sis being a known exhibitionist. She never made an overt/no-doubt offer of sex, but I got the impression the answer would've been yes had I asked.
     
    • Like Like x 2
  8. nckgmd New Member

    Location:
    australia
    I think you're right Chris Noyb. Her ex husband did warn me (years before their divorce) that if anything should happen to him (death or divorce) she would force her way into my place and would never leave. Even though she has a sizeable chunk of money she can't afford a home on her own. I have told my wife about everything, from the start but she's in denial. The wife blames me for her sister now being stuck in her parents house and says often "do you know she says your the most nicest guy she's ever met and you treat her like shit". GenuineMommy, all i have ever done is try and help this woman get her life back together. She was totally ripped off in her divorce and her kid treats her like shit. I have tried to stand by her and tell her, with truth that she is a good mother and a good person. I have tried to keep her out of my house, because i do find her attractive. She forced her way in after asking for 4.5 years and as a man i can't help my mind wandering when she's saying "here Nick look at these pictures on my phone". I look and see thumbnails below the main pic is her topless with one arm covering her tits. Every picture she showed me, these thumbnails were there and all the while she was bouncing around giggling at me. Now she has gone she keeps coming back and telling me she's getting prettier and prettier and "am i really that sexy Nick". When i ask her what does she mean by these statements, she then pretends i'm not there. She asks me to take her out somewhere, movies or some day outing, very excited to see me, but half way through the day goes cold and doesn't talk to me. There's lots of other things too. She has completely changed as a person towards me. I wish she remained who she was (she used to just stir me up, i liked that) i would of considered building a house with her because it would be beneficial to my wife and her in the future. My main worry is my health. It's poor, even though you can't see it, if you looked at me, I'm still lucky to be alive. When mentioning this to her that my condition could see me die young, she screams the house down"I DON'T WANT YOU TO DIE, PLEASE DON'T DIE".. I'm just worried her intent is opposite, to try and cause me stress, so I'm out of the picture...
     
    • Like Like x 1
  9. genuinemommy

    genuinemommy Moderator Staff Member

    You find yourself in a very odd place.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  10. Chris Noyb

    Chris Noyb Get in, buckle up, hang on, & be quiet.

    Location:
    Large City, TX
    That's a lot absorb. I need to be on my computer not the phone to post a decent (hopefully) reply.
     
  11. nckgmd New Member

    Location:
    australia
    Yes it is an odd position to be in. To be quite honest i didn't kick her out, she left after she could see she was causing me some anxiety. She then came back four weeks later with a solution to this, but first I had to hear from her that she was getting prettier and prettier. Her solution was to demolish her parents place and build two houses, one for her and her parents and one for my wife and me...
    wtf
     
  12. Chris Noyb

    Chris Noyb Get in, buckle up, hang on, & be quiet.

    Location:
    Large City, TX
    So she was very flirty, you were attracted to her and liked the flirting. This isn't uncommon, it's very much human nature, and harmless flirting can be good for those involved. How you handle the real temptation it is what matters. Now I'm thinking that after being rejected (her divorce) she wanted some reassurance that she was still hot (again, not uncommon, human nature). Whether or not she was actually hoping for sex....that's difficult to say.

    Then she went hot & cold towards you. Possibly she teasing you and then ignoring you as payback.


    "...I have tried to keep her out of my house, because i do find her attractive...."

    "...I wish she remained who she was (she used to just stir me up, i liked that) i would of considered building a house with her because it would be beneficial to my wife and her in the future...."

    Major mixed message here. You saw the attraction as a potential problem. Then enjoyed the flirting, but not the subsequent hot-then-cold treatment. And would've been happy with the flirting.


    "...i didn't kick her out, she left after she could see she was causing me some anxiety...."

    This throws me. She clearly doesn't want to live on her own, was living with her sister and you which she wanted, was flirting with you, but left voluntarily--for your benefit?.


    The best solution: Don't worry about where SIL is living as long as it isn't with you & your wife. Try to keep being alone with her to a minimum, and stop thinking about the flirting (it sounds like you miss it). Tell your wife her sis is a grown woman, don't let her manipulate you. You need to take care of your family and your health.
     
    • Like Like x 2