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How not to be good at sex ...

Discussion in 'Tilted Life and Sexuality' started by Street Pattern, May 13, 2017.

  1. Street Pattern

    Street Pattern Very Tilted

    (See text below image.)


    [​IMG]

    (Link: Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - Greedy Pathfinding)

    Okay, that's one geeky failure mode.

    Another one, which took me a lot of effort to overcome, was my habit of blurting out completely irrelevant things that flash through my mind during sexual arousal. Richard III, the origin of Wisconsin county names, and 1940s telephone exchange technology are just not sexy topics.
     
    Last edited: May 13, 2017
    • Like Like x 3
  2. MeltedMetalGlob

    MeltedMetalGlob Resident Loser Donor

    Location:
    Who cares, really?
    Yeah, that could be awkward to say the least:
    [​IMG]
     
    Last edited: Aug 20, 2018
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  3. Lindy

    Lindy Moderator Staff Member

    Location:
    Nebraska
    But someone interested in those topics might be very interesting and sexy for that reason.:) I once had an illuminating post-coital conversation about Thomas Edison and George Westinghouse and the economic "war" between direct and alternating current electricity transmission.:D
     
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  4. cynthetiq

    cynthetiq Administrator Staff Member Donor

    Location:
    New York City
    • Like Like x 2
  5. MeltedMetalGlob

    MeltedMetalGlob Resident Loser Donor

    Location:
    Who cares, really?
    That too, can be a mood-killer...

    [​IMG]

    (To be honest, this is not one of my strongest efforts, but do you people realize how long I've been trying to work in the name Sheboygan into one of my jokes???)
     
    Last edited: Aug 20, 2018
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  6. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    Obliviousness is the scourge of bad sex everywhere.
    Awareness, the key.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  7. Daniel_

    Daniel_ The devil made me do it...

    I knew you'd say that....
     
    • Like Like x 2
  8. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    Unfortunately, you're not my target audience
    They are unaware of me.

    It's a scourge...a scourge I say.
     
  9. Lindy

    Lindy Moderator Staff Member

    Location:
    Nebraska
    Or, it could be that obliviousness is the bringer of bad sex and the scourge of good sex.:)
    The oblivious one may have great sex, the scourge falling upon the unfortunate and unsatisfied partner.
     
    • Like Like x 2
  10. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    Well, that's what I meant
    And obviously I'm not fully aware of the word "scourge" or its context ;)

    Which is the whole point.
    Gotta know what you're doing and pay attention

    Then again bad sex can be just being out of sync
    Nobody's perfect

    In spelling, grammar or bed.
    you practice and you try...
     
    • Like Like x 2
  11. Chris Noyb

    Chris Noyb Get in, buckle up, hang on, & be quiet.

    Location:
    Large City, TX
    I waited years to make a Divided Methodist church joke. One person didn't get it, the other person didn't find it funny.
     
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  12. Street Pattern

    Street Pattern Very Tilted

    Side note: in Michigan, we spell it "Cheboygan". But it's pronounced the same.
     
  13. Herculite

    Herculite Very Tilted

    (Forgive the below, I wrote it thinking how to avoid bad sex, not in the spirit of the OP)

    I know a few women who bring a vibe with them for sex.

    The problem these days is that so many women use vibrators that they get desensitized to anything else in terms of having an orgasm.

    This to me is a challenge.

    They are NOT going to break that out in sex with me. If they need that to get off with me, I have failed.

    They usually don't, and if they do, its not until she's already had a few orgasms.

    I will tell you my trick. Make your tongue the vibrator. Obviously you can't do what a vibe can, but you want to go FAST with short strokes and not let up. I'm a bit blessed I guess in that my tongue basically doesn't fatigue and I can keep going pretty much forever. Having a wife thats hard to orgasm is quite useful when I am with a woman who isn't. To get into bragging territory I've been able to give women orgasms with oral who's husbands were not. Most women are also multi-orgasmic so you can keep doing this on them for multiples.

    A good tongue >> a good penis.

    My bad sex though. I love to make people laugh. I should have been a comedian. I tend to do it at very inappropriate times. With some women, its a complete turn off even if they are laughing, they lose that moment. I even made a guy lose his erection with my wife by making them both laugh. I can't recall what I said, its all improv spur of the moment things, but as a partner of mine says "you love to cockblock yourself".
     
    Last edited: Jun 27, 2017
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