Life Hacks for the Neurodiverse

I will share things I come across that may be helpful. I will include sources in the form of links to original content when I have them.

Please share your life hacks here as well!

Here's an interesting treasure trove that motivated the creation of this thread:

If you are Autistic, you have a much stronger likelihood that you are also ADHD (and vice versa).

So let's talk about 3 accomodations at home, which help BOTH groups to function better.
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1) Nesting
This is when you allow your ND kid to have a combination work and relaxation space.

Everything they might need, is in a small area.

To others, it might appear cluttered, but the clutter serves a purpose.

By keeping things like fruit snacks, nail clippers, markers, gemstones, glue, combs, batteries, Ziplock bags, fidgets, books, bandaids, sandpaper, toothbrush, sporks, folders, chargers, Stuffed animals and Lego all in one space--

your child can MINIMIZE TRANSITIONS to go fetch items.

And that helps their EXECUTIVE FUNCTIONING.

Ever walk into a room and forget why you are there? It happens to them CONSTANTLY.

CLUTTER (in moderation) can be an ACCOMODATION.
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2) Set the MOOD
Neurodivergent bodies don't process Dopamine, properly.

Some ND brains don't have enough Dopamine, period.

Others have reduced Dopamine signaling in areas of the brain that NEED Dopamine in order to access MOTIVATION.

And that's not all, it's good for.

Dopamine is ALSO essential for
FOCUS,
REGULATION,
COORDINATION
DECISION MAKING
LEARNING
GOOD MOODS
and CIRCULATION.

So, if your kiddo has a Dopamine deficiency,
and you aren't SUPPLYING them with adequate sources if Dopamine,
it's going to be HARD to get them to perform chores and self care tasks.

That means that the best thing you can do, to ACCOMODATE them is to ensure they feel
HAPPY,
SAFE,
and PLAYED WITH, before you even think to engage them in chores.

I talk about this more in my speech for the FREE upcoming, online PDA Conference (link in the comments) It's a bit of an art, if you grew up with an Authoritarian Parenting model.

But charming your child
by eliciting info dumps,
by telling them jokes,
by sharing weird facts,

And By offering to show them how to do interesting things like how--
to use a caulking applicator,
to use a paint sprayer,
to replace a door knob,
to strike a match to light a candle (assuming they are old enough to have that responsibility)

By playing with them
(I'm a big fan of everyone putting on silly tutus so we have to dance our way from task to task...
but I have a friend who uses LED candles, Elf ears, and Netflix firelog screens, to make dish washing a D&D tavern activity....
and I know someone else who BAKES while they clean so that when the bread is done they have an instant reward and can stop the work....
Gamify your chores!)

And by working alongside them as a body doubler,

You can help BUILD UP their Dopamine so that self care and HOME CARE activities become desirable!

MAKING PLAY the VIBE, can be an ACCOMODATION.
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3) Stop thinking of SHOULDS and start thinking of CANS.

If you try to live by society's expectations, always telling yourself what your family SHOULD look like and SHOULD accomplish....
you will always be frusterated and its going to impact how you engage with your loved ones and house mates.

So remind yourself that your family looks GOOD!

You are all surviving, you are all learning and you are living your truth.

You CAN clean out the car...if you want to, and if you have the time and ability to.

But if you DON'T want to...so what?

I don't want pizza for dinner. And that's morally NEUTRAL.

There's nothing wrong with me choosing roast chicken instead.

And there nothing wrong with you choosing to watch The Great British Bake off instead of cleaning out the car.

YOU get to choose how to use your spoons.

You CAN do lots of things...but that doesn't mean you SHOULD.

Sometimes the best things to do are to rest, recuperate, laugh, eat, spend time with pets/friends, and read.

And anyone that tells me I SHOULD be washing the floors instead, can get their bum off my couch and leave my house.

Nobody else is in charge of my spoons. They have their OWN to manage... and I don't need another person's demands, weighing me down.

Letting go of SHOULDS and embracing CANS, is an important ACCOMODATION.
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And now, a question....

How could you set the mood to make Back to School, feel SAFE and HAPPY and PLAYFUL, for your child?

And if you Unschool....how could you set the mood to make cleaning their room, feel SAFE and HAPPY and PLAYFUL?

(The place I pulled this from has taken it down, I will look to see if they published it elsewhere)