>1. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
>2. I just got lost in thought. It was very unfamiliar
territory.
>3. I now avoid spending time by myself just thinking.
I've learned from painful experience that my head
is like the worst section of Harlem - you don't
want to take a chance going in there all alone.
>4. Seen it all, done it all.... can't remember any of it!
>5. Those who live by the sword usually get shot by
those who don't.
>6. She's always late. In fact, her ancestors arrived
in America on the "Juneflower."
>7. Bumper sticker seen on car in L.A.: "PARDON MY
DRIVING, I'M RELOADING"
>8. It's hard to understand how a cemetery can raise
its burial costs and then have the nerve to blame
it on the higher cost of living.
>9. Just remember if the World DIDN'T suck, we'd all
fall off.
>10. The things that come to those who just wait is
probably what's left by those who got there first.
>11. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach
a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day long
getting hammered out of his mind.
>12. The shin bone is nature's way of equipping us with
a built-in device for locating furniture.
>13. A fine is a tax for doing something bad.
A tax is a fine for doing something well.
>14. It was recently discovered that medical research
is causing an epidemic of cancer in rats.
>15. I sometimes wish the buck would stop right here as
I sure could use a few.
>16. I started out in this life with nothing, and I've
managed to keep most of it.
>17. When you have your day in court, realize that your
fate lies in the hands of 12 people who weren't
even smart enough to get themselves out of jury duty.
>18. When I was young I dreamed that when I grew up I'd
be filthy rich. Well, at least half of my dream has come true.
