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Maybe it was a less-than-subtle nudge for her to pay closer attention to the way she handles food/reward behavior with her son. Agreed that it sucks to be the one to say stuff like that, but you may have done her a big favor in the long run.
Anyway, someone who's lived through a tragedy like that ought to have a sense of humor about it - otherwise they're just morose. And I speak from experience...
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