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Just so you know, the second time I had sex (was also the second time with my first & still current gf), I didn't come either. 2 and a half hours later, we had to stop because she was too tired to go on (a dozen+ orgasms will do I think). So don't worry about it, since I wasn't rock hard during that session either. Just keep going and if you want to stop thinking so much, immerse yourself in the visual/aural/vocal reactions she's giving to the sex. You said that she's getting off, so she is almost certainly going to making some noise/face/something that shows that. It might grow to be something you love to see, as it is for me.
Summary: Don't worry about it. Try new stuff and revel in the fun of it.
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