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Old 04-06-2005, 08:00 PM   #26 (permalink)
FngKestrel
Junkie
 
Nice to see the new additions Augi!

A small form nitpick:
"He breifly stared at the lines and lines of scripture"
Spelling of "briefly".

Also, I know you're working with past and present tense storytelling, but I have to say that the present tense feels a little awkward and hard to read. Maybe that's just me.

Other than that, love the new stuff.
FngKestrel is offline  
 

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