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I suppose there's not much you can do.
Don't give her the ultimatum "It's either him or me" 'cause she'll choose him. It's just what happens. Did to a couple of friends, and to my mother when she was a kid. I'd just make sure you stayed open to being with her, incase the relationship turns worse than it sounds like it is allready.
Good luck, I know this must be terrible and hard.
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