maleficent

SOCIAL SECURITY SEX:
Two men were talking. "So, how's your sex life?"
"Oh, nothing special. I'm having Social Security sex."
"Social Security sex?"
"Yeah, you know: I get a little each month, but not enough to live on!"

LOUD SEX:
A wife went in to see a therapist and said,
"I've got a big problem, doctor. Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets out this ear splitting yell."
"My dear," the shrink said, "that's completely natural. I don't see what the problem is."
"The problem is," she complained, "It wakes me up!"

QUIET SEX:
Tired of a listless sex life, the man came right out and asked his wife during a recent lovemaking session,
"How come you never tell me when you have an orgasm?"
She glanced at him casually and replied, "You're never home!"

WEDDING ANNIVERSARY SEX:
A husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary. The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads:
'Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever'."

"Yeah," she replies, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone reads:
'Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last.'"

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A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world."
The woman says..... "I'll miss you."

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