Well, to update my good friends here at the forum....
The vacation is over, and basically we didn't actually screw like bunnies.
However, I took a baby step towards being able to deal with it, and got into some heavy fingering/etc - which at least was good enough to get her off, and she of course helped me out as well.
Baby step for sure, but I'm working on my hangup
Thanks for the advice all
Sammy