Yikes, I guess I'm the minority here, but I've never had problem having an orgasm. Of course, I began mastrubating around 13, so that probably has a lot to do with it. I knew how to please myself before I ever got involved with a guy. Now, sometimes it can difficult to have an orgasm and this goes back to the mental part of the act others have mentioned. Either I had a tough day at work or I'm just not in the mood at the time. However, that is rare.
I would strongly suggest taking time to pleasure yourself. You don't need a big toy or anything to do that either. In fact, I never had a vibrator until I was 21. Your hand and the way you move can help a lot.
Since you are in a relationship talk to your partner about what you like, you may even have to assist to lead him in the right direction. Try a variety of positions because different positions have different effects. I could go into tmi right now so I will stop there....
Anyway, experiment, relax, and have fun. That's what life is all about.
Oops, I forgot to answer your questions...NO there is not one 'right' guy or girl. You just need a mature guy who is patient to work with you.
