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Originally Posted by SecretMethod70
The first step after opening communication with one another is to try and see each other's point of view. This may not change anything, but an understanding of where the other person is coming from is absolutely necessary if progress is to be made.
While learning to see things from the other person's point of view, one should also be open-minded enough to change points of view. This is often not a possibility when dealing with emotion-based opinions, but it is certainly possible when dealing with logical opinions.
Finally, if one person is not swayed to the other's side (and, note, it is not about convincing the other person, but about sharing thoughts and feelings with the other person and allowing yourself to be shared to as well), then sometimes it is necessary to make concessions.
When an issue is important to one person and relatively unimportant to the other, the second person needs to ask themselves what is more important to them: the relationship, or the "obscure" issue.**
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Right on there... I really appreciate the way you put this, SM (though forgive me for putting in some paragraph breaks).
It's interesting, though, how such a logical progression of steps to "communicate & compromise" goes by the wayside if a couple is not careful enough to think about the process when things get heated.
I think a big part of this common problem is simply ego... we all like to think we are right, even if we love and respect the other person. Sometimes, there is just no "right" answer or stance... it boils down to two individuals believing each one has the high ground. Hence the need for compromise, to surrender a piece of the ego and come to a shared understanding, agreement, workable solution...