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Hal - First thing you should do is go out and get a copy of "Anal Health and Pleasure." Seriously good book that will teach you all you need to know about this sort of stuff, and teach you how to never get hemmorhoids whether you play with your anus or not.
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Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
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