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You're much more patient than I would be. If my SO were going out three nights a week without me, I'm not sure I would be quite so understanding. I feel you're exactly right--without intending to, your wife has put herself out there as looking for something because of her choice to be out till late without her husband.
Regardless, you need to talk to your wife, non-confrontationally, about how you feel. She should know. Otherwise, shit like this just festers, and in the end you're left with a lot more to deal with versus if you'd just talked about it in the first place. Be open and honest.
I'm not sure what comes after that, but I know talking about it is always a good place to start.
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If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau
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