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Tough place to be in.
I will say from a girl's perspective, I have had some of this type of conversation come up. In my case, the weight was gained after the relationship became more serious, due to a variety of factors.
I will be honest and say that I was very hurt when comments were made that the guy did not feel I was sexually attractive to him, but that he loved me 100% otherwise. Immediately, my own perception of my attractiveness skyrocketed down, because I also agree that sexual attractiveness is an important feature for a healthy sexual relationship, which we had had before having these comments made.
Now is the tricky part: deciding what to do about it. It is not his decision for me to lose or gain weight - who knows, I could be perfectly accepting of the fact that I'm not going to be the same size I was in high school - being fit may very well be the goal, instead of also reaching certain size dimensions.
If this is really that big a deal for you, I really think you need to find a new relationship. Unless you are willing to compromise with her and encourage her weight loss by actively noticing the positive changes and reinforcing those - both to her and yourself, she is left in the position of feeling like unless she stays at a size 6 forever, she is in danger of losing your attention.
Cyn made a good point about health concerns - maybe also consider her reaction if something was to happen to you. Say you had an accident and were unable to exercise since you had to stay off a foot, and gained 20 pounds. It happens. Would you fault her for finding you less unattractive, even though you are being ordered by a doctor to stay off the broken appendage for XX amount of time?
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Calling from deep in the heart, from where the eyes can't see and the ears can't hear, from where the mountain trails end and only love can go... ~~~ Three Rivers Hare Krishna
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