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Originally Posted by Makia
Well, I'm sure she is aware that you feel this way, and it's killing her self-esteem, which is not going to inspire her to take better care of herself, so you're basically stuck as far as I can see.
I have to wonder if you really love her as much as you say/think you do. For me, any time I've been in love with someone, I may notice physical flaws, especially at first, but eventually I just stop noticing and appreciate them for who/what they are--basically, they become attractive to my eyes even if they weren't at first. But, again, that's just me.
As I see it--and I'm not trying to be insensitive or anything--this is your problem, and not hers. Sure, she should probably try to lose weight for health reasons, as probably a lot of us could stand to, but she should NOT be put in a position where she feels she has to for you to be attracted to her.
(sorry I've edited this so many times)
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I agree 100%.
Was she overweight the entire time you dated?
I know personally, I couldn't stay in a relationship that was so pressured to change your appearance. I would feel that it was VERY unstable and that I could lose the person at any time.
I guess I want someone who loves me for all I am, which includes my weight. I feel for her, I'm sure she's going through a really hard time mentally right now. I can't believe it's lasted for 9 months even.
My suggestion? Play some recreational sports. They're really fun, not as high pressured, but at least get you active. I really enjoy playing softball and volleyball because it's not centered around exercise, but you get some while you're doing it.