LoganSnake

You can always buy a dildo cozy like this cute little cthulhu one:



or this flying spaghetti monster:



Hell, you can knit one yourself. Mom would never have to know and you can leave it out in plain sight.

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Maturity is knowing you were an idiot in the past. Wisdom is knowing that you'll be an idiot in the future. Common sense is knowing that you should try not to be an idiot now. - J. Jacques