This is obviously about more then your marriage and making your partner happy. You describe this as a black cloud hanging over you
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more so that it's no longer a black cloud hanging over me
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That means that whether or not your partner leaves you you are still going to have to deal with this. Since you obviously love the man to me it makes more sense to work through the underlying issues together rather then trying to do it without him.
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One of my biggest problems is that I don't view sex positively, in fact, it feels like a chore. It's a subject that has become so imbedded in negativity that I avoid thinking about it
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Is this only with sex or is this with all forms of phsyical intimacy, I mean are you a tactile person? Do you feel comfortable hugging, cuddling and kissing your partner? If so at what point does it go from being enjoyable to a chore?
Maybe you need to start right from that beginning stuff? Hugging and kissing and getting used to touching him and him touching you? Once you begin to enjoy that you could move onto massages and small sexual exercises (I'm sure your sex therapist can suggest some) until you do enjoy being in a physically intimate situation with the husband.
That will hopefully start a positive feedback loop. If everytime you kiss him you enjoy it then you'll look forward to kissing him, hopefully that will mean you'll do so more often and so on for the rest of it.
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sex just doesn't naturally come to mind as part of my life
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This is a bad sign I have to tell you, it sounds to me from this one sentence that you don't consider yourself a sexual being in any way shape or form. That is not healthy for you mentally or emotionally. Is there anything that makes you fel sexy, anything at all? If there is maybe you should play on that
One thing that is a positive and that you should keep in mind is that everyone on this board is open minded and none of us will mind helping you as much as we possibly can, even if you just need someone to listen while you vent.