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My wife believes in god but doesn't follow organized religion (rarely attends a church) and I am an atheist.
I take the approach that they are going to find or not find religion on their own. I am not about to indoctrinate them one way or another. When my son was very young, he was bothered that I didn't believe in Jesus and worried that I was going to hell if I died. I calmly told him why I didn't believe and that I didn't believe there was an afterlife. I treat him, have always treated him, like an adult when it comes conversations.
He's 16 this year and while I can't say definitively that he doesn't believe in god, I would wager he is now an atheist (I don't know because I really don't care... it's his choice).
As for the question of community... I grew up with very little religion in my life and always had friends to hang out with. There almost no going to church in my own family and my kids have very social lives. In fact, I find the question kind of odd. I can't imagine *wanting* to socialize with the people who I remember meeting at church when I was a kid.
School had no impact on me and has had no impact on my kids. They went to secular public school when they were in Canada and go to secular private school here. Not much difference. There is no religion in school.
I'm sorry, I don't have any resources to suggest other than my own experience of growing up with out religion.
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"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke
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