I PMd most of this to Pan, but I think on the whole I'd like to stay anon.
I have serious medical conditions that will not be going away. I am disabled. I have extreme anxiety. I often only get out of the house once a week as I have agoraphobia and my friends kind of suck.
I used to love to read and learn things. I graduated college at 21 with 4 minors. Then the medical stuff hit. I've been going to the docs every since (for 5 years). I literally can't do any of the things I love anymore. I'm imprisoned in a house with my ignoble mother. Never had a girlfriend. Always always get rejected.
My friends and family barely seem to care about me. I speak to my dad like twice a month (and *I* have to call him) and he rarely even asks how I'm doing. My mom simply refuses to talk about anything dark/depressing. She's a bit of a narcissist and thinks her life is much much worse (she just dislikes her job).
I'm sick of video games. I don't have the willpower to exercise anymore. What is there left for me to do on this earth? I feel as if I am already dead.
The only way I've survived the last couple of years has been from abusing drugs and alcohol (nothing hard, I mean like pot) and cutting myself to relieve some pain.
I've been in a deep dark hole for 5 years straight. I have no ladder and the walls are slippery. I have no idea how to get out. This hole is my grave.
What's left for me?
