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What the ladies of tfp like or don't like is not really the issue here. Your relationship with your wife is what matters. I suggest talking to her while you are not having sex. Maybe ask if she will be more open to using a toy, rather than her finger. And, just because you enjoy anal on you doesn't mean she will on herself.
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If you can go deeply into lovemaking, the ego disappears. That is the beauty of lovemaking, that it is another source of a glimpse of god
It's not about being perfect; it's about developing some skill at managing imperfection.
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