Male violence towards women is digusting
 

I can't beleive a man could ever eve think of laying his hands on a woman. Even if a girl is slapping or hittong you, you just pick up your arms and Block the blows by shielding ur face, but never ever hit back.

In a highchool setting, i dont think people comehend how much of this violence is going on between couples. and our laws are so mild towards this sort of abuse.

If i had it my way, all these "men" wouldnt be tried, i'd just string them up and kill them.

Though I agree, I can't help but wonder what sparked this thread. 'Cause I find it hard to think that there may be someone out here that thinks that violence against women is good (though someone may disagree about the not fighting back thing)

Is there a particular incident that made you want to post this?

While I think that it is not acceptable, to hit women in most situations, I'm not going to "pick up my arms and block blows" by some woman who is 250lbs and 6'1, I will fight back and I will do more than just defend myself.

I will do what it takes to stop the attacker even if it means that I live to see another day and they do not.

People hitting other people is wrong regardless of sex.

On a side note it sounds like you havn't quite achieved your name yet Nirvana.

it should have nothing to do with gender, imo.

I find sexism rather repulsive.

any person who hits another person should be prepared to be hit back...period

Hey, it's pretty much A-OK in S.C.

COLUMBIA, S.C. - A lawmaker's comments questioning why abused women would return to men who batter them brought protests from South Carolina lawmakers, television viewers and victim advocates.

"I do not understand why women continue to go back around men who abuse them," Altman said Tuesday in the interview on WIS-TV. "I've asked women that and they all tell me the same answer, 'John Graham, you don't understand.' And I say you're right, I don't understand."

The interview with Altman came after the House Judiciary Committee approved a bill Tuesday making cockfighting a felony but tabled one making second-offense criminal domestic violence a felony.

"The woman (who is abused) ought to not be around the man," Altman said in the interview. "I mean, you women want it one way and not another," he told the female reporter.

I am so tired of this bandwagon.

"Stop violence against women!"
"Any man who harms a woman should be killed!(with out a trial)"

Some very trendy and popular "calls to arms," but seriously. I am fucking tired of it. Now, I am not at all violent, I can't recal being in a violent altercation since the 8th grade, not including a breif stint as a bouncer in the 1990's. I am all for the cessation of violence in all it's forms... but why are women so fucking special that they get a whole movement dedicated to them?

The implication, albeit exaggerated, is that all violence against women is so horrid that we need to dedicate all our resources to killing men who perpetrate these crimes. On the other hand... violence against men is perfectly acceptable because they are less valued by society and most likely deserve whatever they get.

Well I can't tell you how happy I am that you don't have your way.

I feel that regardless of sex, if you hit somebody, you should expect to get your ass beat. It's very unfair to men.... dudes get beat the hell up by their girlfriends, but as soon as a guy pushes back he's a monster.

Motto is "don't dish out what you can't take!".

While I would never hit a woman first, I would defend myself and respond proportionately.

It has only ever come up once. While it's a long story, it involved a barroom brawl, an attempted kick to the groin, and a pool stick over my head. She had it coming, in my opinion.

Because, as women, we have suffered indignities and abuse at the hands of our men for centuries and nobody cared. We didn't even have the right to vote until very recently. There are still many men out there who value women only as subserviant beings. Just look at some of the recent comments, the article mentioned in this thread and that idiot Nascar guy...women are still fighting for equality in the eyes of the law and in the eyes of society.

The squeaky wheel and all that...

heh...i've been in situations where I felt like strangling some guy.

I've been in situations where I felt like strangling some woman.

If I ever believed that the 2nd thought was worse than the 1st thought, or vice versa, I'd say I was sexist.

ps. I ended up not strangling anybody.

I see, so all future generations will be saddled with the sins of our fathers. Marvelous.

Why is it that society seems to forget that the root word in "equality" is "equal?"

Violence is to be avoided
defense a last resort

Hit me once bitch.....I will run
Hit me again...you will wish I did

I know it sounds stupidly simple but I believe in not hitting anyone....man or woman.

Well, for what it's worth, I pretty much believe in pacifism until violence can't be avoided or is necessary to defuse the situation or protect the safety of non-initiators. Then you commit as much violence is necessary, but never enjoy the act of committing violence, etc.

Instead of battery of women or men - how about battery itself is just weak and ignorant, etc?

Well, I think we've taken a vague opening statement and ran it in as many directions as possible. Nirvana, do you want to try again and provide some focus for this discussion?

I agree with cellophanedeity, there's gotta be more to this. Did a friend of yours get battered?

i've seen some very formidable kung fu practioners who were female and had my ass handed to me on occasion (sparring). Gender should not be an issue when it comes to defending yourself. If a woman comes at you with deadly force then you should respond the same way as you would if a man comes at you with deadly force.

Well stated. I did one time tell a woman jujitsu trainer that I didn't care for jujitsu because it was too passive for me. Next thing I knew I was layed out on the sidewalk because she hip check flipped me.

One of my friends Christina told me that if she hits a guy, She expects to get hit back..She also says that, If she was a guy and a girl punched him in the face..she wouldn't hesitate to hit back.

I have never been hit by a girl, Not in a serious way anyways and if i was..I wouldn't hit back, But i also wouldn't stand there with my arms up..I would definatly put her on the ground and restrain her till she calmed down.

the only time ive ever really hit a girl was my sister when we were kids...
but that wasnt an abuse thing... that was a sibling rivalry thing...

I'm not gonna go out and beat a woman... but i wont stand there and take a beating from a woman... i'll defend myself as necesary...

"Male violence towards women is digusting"

So are poor grammar and spelling. Too riled up to proofread?

If i had it my way, all these "fucking idiots who cant spell" wouldnt be tried, i'd just string them up and kill them.



Whether I actually believe this is irrelevant. My point is that you made a sweeping, ignorant claim and expect it to be choked down whole. Excellent work.

Male violence towards women may be disgusting. But it's not always disgusting, nor is it any more disgusting than any other type of violence. To claim so is patently sexist. Your claim not only implies but clearly states that that women are less capable than men and must be defended. It also states that because of this, men are less important than women. Am I the only one that sees a slight contradiction here?

Now my take on things. If you hit me, expect to be hit back. It you start a fight, I will finish it. Try to hurt me and you will be hurt. Try to hurt one of my friends, my family. Try to hurt anyone who is not trying to hurt you. I dare you. If you have a penis, expect it to be kicked. If you have a vagina, expect it to be kicked. I don't fucking care what you look like, you will soon be on the floor.

My take - you don't beat on people weaker than yourself. I'm a very strong, trained grown man - it would have to be a pretty extreme situation to provoke me to beating on a woman, child, old person, cripple or anyone else significantly weaker than me. People who hit such weaker persons deserve a good beat down. Now, if I'm seriously threatened of course I'd fight back, but unless armed, 99.9% of women have no chance against someone like me. I realize that some men are weaker or less capable than me, and they probably have a lower threshold for being threatened, but overall, hitting someone weaker and smaller than yourself is cowardly and immoral.

When a man hits a woman, women march in the streets.

When a woman hits a man, the other men just laugh at him.

I've never hit a girl. If a girl hits me, yes, I would at first just block all incoming blows. If this doesn't get the message through within about 5 seconds, you can expect some blows to be coming your way.

What about folks who don't capitalize 'I' and leave out necessary apostrophes? ;)

Oh, the sweet, sweet irony....

I think the vast majority have this one right. I'm going to defend myself, plain and simple.

i've got mixed feelings on this one. i know too many women who are survivors of domestic violence or sexual assualt to take this subject any way but heavy. at the same time, i think the only reason why this whole meme works if if the meme of "women don't start fights" is also operative.

it's morally despicable to pick on someone who does not start a fight, or who cannot defend themselves. without ignoring the gendered implications of this statement, i would hope that we could move past a model that men hit and women get beat. it's a little more complex than that.

Basically, if she doesn't want to act like a "lady", she shouldn't expect to be treated like a "lady".

I think there are some basic things to be said here:

1) There are some key differences between playfully hitting, defending one's self, and systematic abuse.
2) Yes, a male should be able to defend themselves, but having to defend yourself against someone most likely weaker than you is silly.
3) Some men don't realize how hard they hit, even jokingly.
4) And yes, though all of you may not want to realize it, or even admit it, more men hit out of anger than women. Men are more likely to be perpetrators of domestic violence.

The reason WHY women march in the streets when a man hits a woman is because usually it happens more than once. These protests are not about a slap across the face one time, they are about continuous, regular abuse. They are about getting BEATEN. We're not talking about one punch. We're talking about several. We're talking about women with broken bones, bloody noses, and bruises galore.

Yes, women can be abusers too, but it's much less likely. It's less likely to be physical abuse and more likely to be emotional abuse.

To make a blanket assumption, I'm going to assume that the majority of you have not been around or dealt with domestic violence victims. Seeing someone who has been beaten black and blue by someone who is supposed to love them might change your perspective on the whole issue. The aftereffects of domestic violence are enormous--my mother still suffers from post-traumatic stress disorder 25 years after divorcing her abusive second husband.

The fact is that no one should hit someone weaker than themselves, and preferably no one should hit anyone else. Everyone has the obligation to take the moral high ground here--but men especially must realize that they are typically stronger than women and have even more of a burden to bear. Yes, maybe she slaps you once out of anger--but you hitting her back isn't a solution.

Violence is NEVER a solution, regardless of who instigates it.

Some women deserve it. Most don't. That's the line between idiot and victim.

Chivalry is all well and good, but there are certainly women stronger than me. Likewise, if they attack me first -- even if its a slap -- its assault. You're simultaneously taking the grounds that no one should hit another person, but excusing a woman slapping me because she's "weaker." Under the EQUAL eyes of the law, no matter who hits me or how hard, its assualt.


I think BenR said it best:
You can't ask that we not defend ourselves against "fragile women" if the aforementioned woman is attacking us. Stronger or not, I will defend myself to the full extent of the law regardless of sex. THAT is equality. Saying that women are weaker enforces gender specific stereotypes and takes you from the "cause" of equality.

I'm 6'2" tall and significantly broad shouldered (not to mention overweight) so I never get much hassle with people.

In general I abhor violence in all its forms, but violence that is abuse of the weak by the strong (as domestic violence often is EITHER way round - there are many battered husbands) is the most abhorrent of all to me.

I don't hit people by choice - Ive got into very very few fights in my life, and generally have been thumped for interceding to try to end an abuse of power that was going against a friend (no more than half a dozen times in 20 years though).

I hit people with only one intention - to make them stop hitting my friend. I hit them hard. I hit them wherever will stop them soonest. I only ever had to hit them once.

Then I walk away.

So far, nobody ever followed me.

The only rules I follow are that I don't take the first swing against anyone, I don't hit back if doing so is more likely to escalate the situation than refusing to react, and I don't use any more force than is necessary. Gender, age, and other variables only factor in to the extent that they are required to calculate the necessary force required to terminate an assault. An attacker is an attacker and any unprovoked assault on anyone, regardless of gender or any other factor, is wrong.

I fully agree that women (and others) have been at a a disadvantage throughout history and I fully support the right of any deserving group* to be treated as equals. I will help them in their struggle if I can, but I will not, in any situation, put someone above others because they have historically been at a disadvantage. I'll pay you the same as a man, I'll treat you as equal to anyone else up to the limit of individual ability (I'm not going to suggest that equality requires a 5'1" woman to cut down trees and haul lumber while her husband does dishes,) but there's no way in hell I'm going to stand there and let you hurt me if hitting back will stop you.

* - I say "deserving group" because I'm not going to be nice to neo-fascists or terrorists no matter how much tolerance gets shoved down my throat.

I'm going to disagree with you here. You never hit a Lady. Once she swings, she is no longer a lady, and I'll coldcock her same as I would a man. Once you deside to take things to a physical level, sex no longer matters. A physical altercation is life or death, and that is how I treat every one I get in. I do not play fight, I do not fight to satisfy my ego. Hell, I'll run before I fight, but once you lay a hand on me, there are no kid gloves.

I have been struck by 3 different women at 3 different times.

1. In 1985, while at the beach with my then GF, I was feeling all frisky and scooped her up in my arms and ran her out into the surf in a fit of playfulness.

Bam, she cold cocked me right in the temple for getting her wet. (She was 5-11 and a pretty strong girl by the way.)

I was stunned, never hit her back. Just left her standing and swam out for about a mile and treaded water.


2. With my long term significan other, with whom I lived with for serveral years, we were in a heated arguement and she just charged me (5'-6 and the woman had a Phd). Full on frontal assault which I repelled by grabbing her and holding her.


3. (The wierdest one ever) Out on date, she started hitting on other guys at some bar, I told her I was leaving and if she wanted a ride, now was the time. (Should have just left).

We were mouthing off at each other and as she was exiting the car she hit me, I shoved her back, and as she was opening the door, used my foot to push her in the ass right out the door and hit the gas.

So, there's 3 times I have been attacked by 3 separate women (I am 6-2) for whatever reason.

I have never initiated any physical violence. I guess I just drive women to it, orelse have a knack for picking nut-bars (my friends tell me at least.)

im not saying some random women smacking te crap out of you, even tho in that case i would not hit back. Ive known women who were in abusive relationships whp got hit for no fuking reason, and when they tried to defend themselves, they got hit harder, near death even.

and comeone, if somebody swings at you and ur a 200 lb man and lets just say a petite woman hits u, its not a matter of life and death. u honestly wont sustain much injurty, unless shes attacking u with a knife, but thats obviously another story.

my initial post was rash and i should have been more specific

and the statements that i made above are not in regards to all situations. for example, the people tlaking about women trained in jijitsu or whatever. im talking about domestic violence situation or abusive relationsnhips where men feel women arent anywhere equal as they are.

if that was the frame of your post, then you should have framed it as such and not "who did it and ran" type of "drive by" post, which is why you got the various kinds of responses you did.

Next time be more thoughtful before you press the submit button.

pigglet, that article is NOT indicative of South Carolina. The bill was tabled because of some very vague legal verbage (including the fact that it would have allowed a judge to issue a restraining order based solely on the woman's word). It has since been reworded and I believe it was passed, although I wouldn't swear to it. My point is, there are ass-backward people all over the country and unfortunately Altman is able to speak publicly, making all of South Carolina look bad. He was pretty much ridiculed all through the news here. Make sure you look into everything about an issue before lumping people together next time. We're not all in the same boat.

I don't think I'd ever hit your average woman in self-defense (ie smaller then me) because there's not much need to if I need to get away. Turn my back and walk away, from an angry man, I might get punched in the back of the head, but women often do much less damage. (If you'd like to argue me into admitting I'm wrong and that women can be vicious too, you have to realize that I then would have cause to hit women who're angry and violent at me...)

The only thing that I ask, is that you stay away from the crotch. Anyone, male or female, ever hits me in the crotch, I pick up my balls off the floor and look for a way to punish them. The pain is one thing, but the idea that I could be rendered sterile also renders me very upset.

This thread disgusts me.

Why?

"Male violence towards women is digusting"

Yeah, I agree but that statement is too fucking general and is targeting male in general. It's like having a group of male giving us a bad name compared to females.

I even read some of the post here saying that "Oh, yeah that's totally true, I mean, women has been surpressed for the last thousands of year and we're finally being freed from our male oppressor"

Give me a fucking break, that's like having every male in the world bear the burden of our ancestor's sins.

Boo hoo, we all have bad apples in our group whether it'll be male, female, black, white, yellow, purple, bisexual, hetrosexual, asexual, etc etc but that doesn't mean the rest of us should take the burden of those bad apples.

So, please, take into careful consideration in writing out your thoughts. Even though, I jumped right off the bat with this particular post

Well said, well said.

In Grace's martial arts lessons, her masters--her father growing up and a middle-aged Korean man here locally, emphasize that violence is to be used for defense only. Nothing else ever justifies violence, especially not words, no matter how offensive, or actions that cause no harm but only offend, or that nebulous concept of honor, or revenge. Violence should be used as a defense only, and then only as a last resort, and then only to the extent that it is necessary to end the threat.

So yes, of course a man has the right to defend himself against a female attacker, even one mush smaller than he is. I don't think anyone has argued otherwise.

Defending oneself does not always involve the infliction of harm on another, especially when one person is much larger and stronger than the other. Defending oneself can be as simple as walking away in the face of an attack that has done one no harm. Defending oneself can be a matter of using defensive moves. This is especially true when one person is much larger and stronger and capable of inflicting harm than the other.

Specifying that one particular problem is a problem does not imply that there are not other problems. Specifically, saying that men shouldn't beat their wives and girlfriends doesn't imply that it's acceptible for women to attack their husbands and boyfriends unprovoked.

It is wrong for a woman to attack a man unprovoked and in the absense of a threat to herself. I think everyone here can agree to that.

That isn't the issue. Male on female domestic violence often has a specific etiology that is unlike female on male. In simplified form, a minority of men beleive that they should be the dominant partner (often referred idiomatically as "wearing the pants in the family") in a relationship to the point that they need to exert this dominance over their SO's through the use of violence. Sometimes it is equated with punishing a child through violence, a practice still widely defended in the mainstream in our culture. This is in certain instances a leftover of the formerly common attitude that the man should be in charge of the family unit and a little violence used to keep the others in line is just something that's sometimes necessary. It still happens a lot in marriages, a lot more than is reported, because the men often believe they have the right to behave as they do, and the women often believe this also.

It's become a problem in high schools, with teen boys trying to prove their manhood within their peer group by exerting physical dominance within that group, and by extension, by keeping their women in line. Sometimes it is just a matter of control, telling the girl what she should wear and where she can go and who she can be friends with, but often it progresses into exerting physical control, punishing their girlfriends the way you'd punish a child.

This attitude of the man should be in charge, coupled with the greater levels of aggression found in males, coupled with a generally greater level of upper body strength, size, and ability to inflict harm in a violent situation, makes male-on-female domestic violence an issue of greater consequence that the latter, and with a fundamentally different root cause for most abusers.

Once again, let me make clear that female-on-male violence is unacceptable and anyone has the right to self defense against any attackers. Decrying Male-on-female violence as deplorable does not imply that any other kind of unprovoked violence is acceptable.

Well, now, that's not good news to hear at all - that 'boys' are exerting dominance over their female counterparts through the use of violence. Not good news at all.

Not including emotionally/psychologically abusive relationships, I would like to add my own thoughts to this thread. Some may agree, some may not. This is just how I feel from my own very personal experiences.

In being a female who has managed to outlive 2 physically-abusive relationships, I will tell you that in my first one, at the age of 14 1/2 to 16, I fought back. I hit him back as much as I could...the abuse only became more intense - not more violent - and that the scars I have that show on my skin tell a story of 1 year and 9 months of me not taking his shit. I was eventually able to get away from him (I still lived at home, obviously, and he had "dumbed" himself down enough with his epileptic meds and alcohol mixtures that he wasn't smart enough to figure out how to keep me). I would like to think that I did my fair share of dealing out "what comes around, goes around" but I don't think the first abusive relationship, in any way, prepared me for the Hell I was going to brave some 3 1/2 to 4 years later. In my first relationship, I knew it was wrong for him to raise a hand to me, I was too young to really grasp a deep concept of love/devotion, etc., and therefore, I think it was easier to move away from the relationship.

The second relationship had me headspun to the point where I felt guilty for her actions. Yes, hers. I loved her and I found myself deeply attached and lost within her. In 9 months time, she was able to break down the person I once was and in one 'flick of the wrist' destroy me, my happy world with her by my side and my child in my arms, and everything (all the truths, happiness, lies, and sadness) that was a part of it to make it such a "safe, surreal place".

When one person is able to break down another person (male to male, male to female, female to female or female to male) and have them obey like a "puppet on a string" without any thought or confidence in adversity or rebellion, then there is no excuse for violence. The "puppet" isn't going to hit back, isn't going to dare react (other than to crumple to the floor, whimper and fear for her own life and/or that of her child(ren), and accept each slap, smack, punch, kick , etc.) until it is over - and only then the reaction (usually) is one of retreat with mechanical pleading, etched in holy terror, for it all to stop.
I remember saying over and over that I would never do whatever I did ever again and that I was so very sorry for making her angry all the while I'm picking up the peices of shattered glass on my carpet, cleaning up the blood (mine) out of the peach-colored carpet - just praying it wouldn't stain, sobbing, shaking, so terrified still that at any moment she could become enraged once more and the nightmare would continue - or worse, increase in severity...

That was almost a full 6 years ago, and although I've not seen her in that long, I still fear her in some deep part of me. I know that I once loved her so very much that even now I question my own confidence in ever facing her, again. Not even to have to face her in confrontation, but only in passing...what actions are justified then? After all the Hell she made sure I went through while we were side-by-side and even afterward, do I get one Free Pass to sock her in her jaw? The fact that her anger changed direction onto someone even more helpless and innocent than I and her actions destroyed the world she (and I) had built together, does that warrant any action I may take against her if I was to ever see her again?

True, I think that if a woman raises her fist to a man or woman first then yes, that woman should be prepared to accept what she dealt (if not, then she should learn never to take that course of action again in the future), and vice-versa. However, what is "fair play" in such a game? If my SO breaks my arm, my leg and bruises me daily, am I justified in putting a bullet (defense or revenge) in him/her? Even if I shoot him/her in their sleep - perhaps I fear for whatever Hell tomorrow was to bring?

What I'm trying to express is that there are many fine lines between defense and abuse, tolerance and intolerance, and therefore, each situation in and of itself, is subject to it's own level of allowances and taboo's.

In that being clarified, if two people are involved in an abusive (physical) relationship and it is violent, conflictive - they don't agree on the actions being taken against themselves or the actions harming a loved one (child, pet, etc.), then I think that the victim - if the aggressor has been unprovoked - should have the reserved right to take whatever action necessary to survive/escape her abuser.

Just a few thoughts to chew on, I'll let you know when I have a more definitive conclusion.

Very true...if one were to think of domestic violence as a form of communication or social discourse (horrid as it may be)...the question isn't just about violence in general, but why some men have this particular accent. As a learned behavior, there are reasons for it being practiced.

I know I'm going to ruffle some people's feathers by saying this, but a lot of women (not all women) have really horrible judgment when it comes to sizing up a guy. My mom has dated more abusive men than I'd care to think about, and I could tell right off the bat without even talking that much to each guy that he was a complete ass-wipe. I knew each time that my mom was going to get hurt, and I'd even tell her, but I have no idea what went through her mind each time. I know there's plenty of guys out there who would *never* hit a girl for no reason. I can only see myself hitting a girl if she kneed me really hard in the groin or whacked me so hard that I started to bleed or bruise badly--and I would never strike the first blow. But this is something that (some) women need to face up to: either learn to excert better judment, or learn how to say "no", whatever the case may be. For women who don't know how to say no to a guy who's really persistent, there is help. You can seek out assertive therapy or try reading When I Say No, I Feel Guilty.

I split your post in half for a reason.

This is going to sound strange, but I agree with both parts of your post, but disagree with it as a whole

Let me explain. The first half is very true. Some women do hook up with abusive partners in succession. Most of the time it isn't obvious, at least not to us, that he's an abusive asshole, and he manages to be charming until you're into the relationship. This does not, however, shift any responsibility for the abuse onto the victim.

The second half is also true. Many women do need to be more assertive. I have a problem with this, but fortunately I'm with a partner who is sensitive to it and doesn't take advantage of it, so my being passive doesn't really harm me in any significant way (though my sister would be happy to list a dozen in which she thinks it does). I enjoy being a caretaker and I get pleasure from pleasing others, so my lack of assertiveness, my willingness to get pleasure from pleasing others is something that benefits me, is good for me most of the time.

But there's a disconnect between the first part and the second part. When you're hooked up with one of these guys, there are no rules for how to behave that will stop the abuse. If he's going to hit you, he's going to hit you. Attempting to be more assertive might set him off, and in fact often does. These guys don't want to be told "no" and if he's determined that things are going to be a certain way, telling him no isn't going to keep him from doing what's necessary to make them that way. When a guy reaches the point where he's willing to be violent with his wife/girlfriend, he's beyond the point at which verbal assertiveness is going to help. The only answer is to leave, which is very, very difficult to do when you're convinced you don't deserve anything better.

So, yes, I agree with you on both parts, but I don't think they're connected.

Gilda

We had a thread on this somewhere (can't remember which forum quite frankly), and I've already stated my views to an extent. It's not the gender of the person that is key, it is whom is weaker. Malicious violence of the strong against the weak is what I consider disgusting. Gender is irrelevant unless chauvanism is involved.

I believe that nobody should hit anybody, but if you hit me, you are going o get hit back, tree, car, dog, cat, girl \ woman.


now i went to the extreem it may seem in my answers, but as far as women being the weeker of the two. that is because thats how society makes the woman think it really is.

i am no woman tree or car beater, but on ocassion i have hit them. i got hit buy a car (4yrs ago) walking to school not hard, but i swung my heavy ass backpack and left a huge ass dent in their hood

now when my girlfriend hits me, there is no way i am going to take abuse, so ill hit her back, not hard, but at the same strengh she hit me. I wouldent hit her because i was pissed off, or upsetwith her.

the only reason i would hit a woman was because she hit me

A Petite woman who takes a swing at some 200lb guy deserves to get her ass beat for a few reasons.

1. hitting is not acceptable male or female
2. ever hear, dont pick on someone smaller than you... well thedumb girl should realize DONT PICK ON SOMEONE BIGGER THEN YOU
3. everyone has the right to protect themselves, so it may not cause an injury, but it gets annoying, and anyone would want it to stop
4. usually people say if you hit me again i will hit you back, she hits him again then god damn she deserves to go thought a wall. ( but thats only if she through him through a wall)

you hit me you get hit back period. I hit you i expect to get hit back. Just because some women are so stupid to stay with someone abusing does not mean that i should care one bit if they get hurt.

Now if she is getting told he will kill her if she leaves thats different and she should get help.... you know tey have safe houses

I would never hit anyone who I don't feel threatened by. A girl or kids for that matter are free to take their shots, and I wouldn't do anything about it. If someone tries to pick a fight with me, and I reccon they can do some damage, I'm hitting first for sure.

Hmmmm......

I would never, ever, ever, hit a woman. I've been hit by girls though. I had a phone cracked over my head, punched in the face (for cheating), and alot slaps! Alot!

I never hit back. I can't. All the girls were tiny little things. The punch in the face almost knocked me out. Holy crap she hit me like a man would of. I might have done something if I wasn't blind sided, but I broke her heart. I deserved it. I think. :hmm:

It's more complicated than that. Smart women will stay with abusers for a variety of reasons, very often because they're in a place psychologically where they don't see that they can leave or because they are in love with their abusers.

Gilda

"I'll never hit a woman...but I'll shake the shit out of her"

--Chris Rock

Hmm, if a woman's man enough to hit me, then she's man enough to get hit back.

I'm kidding, of course. I wouldn't hit a girl, though I wouldn't let one beat my ass either. I think grabbing a girl's arms and putting them behind her back is a little better than hitting them, IMO.

It depends on context for me- why they're being violent, if they were hit first, and if there is a more acceptable way to deal with it. Of course I'm disgusted by men who repeatedly hit, intimidate and physically abuse their partner. But I'd feel the same way if a woman was violent towards her partner in that way, since that can be equally humiliating and frightening.

If a woman attacks a man without very good reason (e.g. attempted assault, etc), I wouldn't say he was wrong to hit her back in self defence, but I would think it better if he tried to restrain her first if it's possible. Not out of chivalry or because it's excusable just because she's a woman, but because I'd find violence wrong, and I'd think it better for anyone to try to stop a fight if they were capable of restraining the other person. But if there's no good reason for him being attacked, or if he can't restrain her without risking injury to himself, or she's really out to hurt him, I wouldn't think anything less of him if he did hit back.

Well all i can say is why the hell do you want to hit someone in the first place?!?!?

I've never been involved in any physically abusive relationship, so my experience on this is quite limited. I (a woman), however, used to be a very anger and destructive teenager, and remember hitting one of my friends (a man) at random times when he would annoy me or whenever I felt like it. I can't recall if I ever really hurt him, but I don't believe he ever thought to hit back. I can imagine the thoughts going through his head could've been along the lines of, "If I hit a girl, then I'm an asshole, disgusting, and someone would think horribly of me if I hit a girl." Yet, here I was, punching him in the stomach and trying to knee him in the groin whenever I felt like it. The idea that he might not of fought back because society/parents/friends told him he shouldn't ever hit a woman, disturbs me a little. I took advantage of someone without even realizing I did-- his personality, his weaknesses, and his gender.

I realize my mistakes now that I am older and not so angry or destructive, and to label this thread "Male violence towards women is disgusting" is very gender biased and makes me cringe and shake my head. It goes the other way as well for me. Female violence towards men is disgusting. Why should either gender stoop to the level of someone who would hit another person “just because they can,” “just to exude their power,” “just because the other person is weaker,” etc, etc?

Now if she is getting told he will kill her if she leaves thats different and she should get help.... you know they have safe houses

just wanted to add what came next in the quote so you all dont thin i am a woman beater or anyone beater

I have a policy regarding violence towards people. Man or woman you are subject to the same policy; it's silly to create such a gap. Violence is necessitated or it isn't, gender doesn't matter in that regard, nor do I see why it should.

This is why violence should be judged on a case by case basis, as any standing policy, regarding the validity of violence, that is based on supposition is flawed right from the get go. The recipient of violence is either less combat ready than you or not, seems rather sexist to assume any woman is less than unless otherwise indicated.

Under no circumstances will I ever hit a woman. Ever. I do everything I can to always stick to my moral code, and this is one of my beliefs. I've had the crap beaten out of me many, many times. I've been hit with baseball bats, brass knuckles, police batans, and a number of other blunt weapons. I've been cut with knives, and even had a bullit graze my right shoulder. I'm not afraid of standing there doing nothing while someone pulverizes me. If a woman who is an excelent fighter wants to beat me senseless, she can be my guest. Then my wife will go over and pull out her still-beating heart. Unless my life is in danger, it's not worth it. In the unlikely situation when my life is in danger, I know how to knock someone out without hurting them (or leaving any marks) whether they know how to fight or not.

If I see a man hit a woman, I will get involved. While I am very peaceful by nature, I also know that some people cannot defend themselves and reqire assistance. When defending, I apply the necessary force but no more.

That's my philosophy. The average man can defend himself from the average woman without striking her. If the situation is not average, as it has been said before in this thread, it must be judged on it's specifics. Small guy vs. giantess could be quite a battle. I might simply stand between them. An odd yet effective way to end a fight is to pass gas (a trick I unfortunatally picked up from science camp in 6th grade). I know it's terrribly crude, but it can often access the childish sense of humor that exists inside of us all.

I can relate as a guy who has taken such abuse, and as a guy who has seen his friends take said abuse. Even attacking someone without intention to seriously harm someone can end up bad. I remember when a girl decided to scratch one of my friends. With what, I have no idea, but it must've been sharp because it left a scar all along his forearm. He didn't fight back.

In general, i've been pretty lucky, all my scars are either small, or covered by clothes.

My stance on the subject is pretty simple. Violence towards anyone that is smaller than you, or rather, an "easy kill" so to speak, is disgusting, I agree. I think women get stereotyped into the role because women are naturally weaker than males physically. If a guy is weaker than me, I feel the same way. If someone attacks me, be it a girl, guy, whoever, and they are stronger than me, I will fight back. Gender means nothing to me in those situations. But if a girl or guy attacked me and they were weaker than me, I would just defend myself until it blew over.



That being said, I would never, ever initiate an attack on someone/hit someone if they were weaker than me, either (meaning I start the fight). I see the "disgusting" part of that as well. Hitting a girl feels naturally more disgusting to me as well, but I wouldn't want to start a fight with a weaker guy either.

Man I can say this out loud a lot better than typing.

I think the discussion should not be limited to violence against women, but violence against any other person or living being. violence in any form against any victim is disgusting.

First off, any guy that lets a woman abuse him gets no sympathy from me. Its one thing to not fight back, but its another to take it. Our genetics are such that even the smallest man (who is not ill in some way) has the strength of about the strongest woman. I was somewhat amazed at the gym on monday. I saw a very attractive girl, about 5'9", looked in great shape with very good muscle definition doing a bench press. Right next to her is the skinniest man I've seen outside of a starvation photo. His arms were like tooth picks, he had no chest, and I couldn't even see muscle. I assume he was sick at some point. They were benching the same, with the apparent same level of difficulty. I find most women greatly underestimate the strength difference between the sexes, we are just set up for it better. I suppose if the female love of your life were a steroid using body builder you might be in trouble, but outside of that, strength is not an issue.

As such (now that I have stated the obvious, male strength >> female) the only reason for a man to be abused is if he allows it. I can't understand the mind set that would allow a man to be physically abused. There is a level of weakness there that sounds like it needs therapy and a round of testosterone injections.

Likewise the only reason for a female to be abused long term is if she allows it. Maybe escape is impossible for a time, and there is the fear factor of him stalking you, but I tend to get mad at the puppies in whipped puppy syndrome for letting themselves get whipped.

I don't have much of a comment on the bigger topic here, I'm not sure I have anything new to add, but the above sentence was the one that jumped out at me.

Does anyone else find the idea of domestic violence within highschool couples a little shocking ? Maybe I'm just too old, but when I was in highschool, I don't think the idea of this sort of thing ever crossed my mind. I never heard of it from anyone else either.

I wonder if this is a newer thing, and if these young people are learning this behavior from their parents and leaders. If so then the cycle is continuing, and sadly likely getting worse.

Female violence towards men is digusting. It happens and more frequently then you think. Get used to it and be sure to protect yourself.

Wow, this topic is an eye opener. A lot of interesting opinions. As much as I'd like for all of use to live in a violence free world, it's just not the case. Initiating violence against anyone? Nope. Using force to stop someone - anyone - from being violent? Yes.

This is a rather complex issue. There are a few variables that play into how I would react.

I think we all agree that we're against hitting someone first. There's never any reason for that. EVER.

If someone attacks me I try to duck and leave before the next punch. If that isn't possible, I do what I can to restrain the attack. If they're too strong and I can't restrain them, I do what I can to get out of the situation and leave.

Luckily I haven't been attacked or had to fight since I was 9 years old. Like som here I'm a bit broad shouldered and I don't know why but apparently that alone works as a decent deterent for people trying to pick fights with me. I am also pretty casual and friendly so that also usually puts people more at ease and makes them less likely to get angry with me. Still, I have had women punch my shoulder or smack my arm for saying stupid stuff. With that, I just smile, shake my head, apologize, and move on.

How about bull-dyke feminists that beat men??? My friend's uncle's ex-wife beat him regularly. Women are as capable of abuse as men are. I'm afraid when it comes to matters of sex, the blade cuts both ways.

Or male-role-playing dykes who beat women? (For clarification see my above post)

Also, it is dependant upon circumstances. I didn't leave because I was afraid and she used my newborn child against me (threatened to call CPS or leave with him forever, etc.) as well as having my self-esteem and confidence and my own individual identity - couldn't think for myself at all - destroyed and removed.

It is what it is.
 

Unfortunetly there are those men out there who feel the need to hit their girlfriends or wives (in some cases they hit anyone thats close to them) to make themselves feel superior. This type of weakness, thinking and behavior is completely wrong and should not be tolerated.
With that being said....

I'm a big guy who has been blessed (or cursed depending on how you look at it) with a pretty intimidating demeanor and have always been naturally good at whippin anyones ass who has a moment of stupidity and tries to fight me. These facts have stopped alot of altercations with other males in my life from going to the "Oh he got knocked the fuck out!" level.
But in my experience with females who like to get physical and throw blows at a man (outside of not being afraid to defend themselves this type of thinking usually stems from deeper issues)...they are usually gambling on the fact that the man thinks it's not right to hit women and won't hit back. In some cases they actually like to use that possible fact to tease or try and goat the man into actually hitting them. So they verbally or physically try and push the guy to the point where he snaps and hits her. Now most women out there that I have met are not of this type of character...but there are those women out there who like to play this game.
Whenever I have met or been involved with a women like this (and I am happy to say this has been extremely rare) the situation has been handled simply by dodgiing and blocking some weak punches or slaps (and usually laughing my ass off) and at worst I might of had to get ahold of her and restrain her until she calmed down.
There has only been one case in my life where I had to hit a women. It was a typical Sat. night, out on the town with some of my buddies and their lady friends. Towards the end of the night after most everybody was pretty intoxicated (and in most cases no matter if it is females or males involved in the fight...alcohol has played a big factor) the bar was closing down and everyone was filing outside. On the way out one of the females in our group got into an arguement with another female outside which eventually turned into a fight (and I don't care how many times I see women fight it still cracks me up...once they get ahold of each others hair its pretty pathetic). So they got at it for awhile until my buddie decides to get his girlfriend out of there...ok you know the story the other girls boyfriend gets involved and all of sudden it turns into a full out street brawl. Well to some this is scary but at that time in my life fighting was a natural high for me so hell I jumped right in. Well as the fight is going on the the other girl who started the fight is going around knocking the shit out of my buddies with this parking pole while they are fighting her friends. Well that shit wasn't going to fly so I went to try and stop her and get it away from her......well after she whacked me a couple of times in the arm and ended up bustin my nose I'd had enough of that crap and after she swang and missed finally I smacked right in the mouth. Of course the cops finally showed up and I can still remember her screaming "Arrest him he hit me...he's a pussy and likes to hit girls!!!"
Anyways that was the only time in my life...and to be honest I didn't and don't regret it...she deserved it. To think that I was the designated driver that night.....rofl!

Male or female don't start something that you are not prepared to finish no matter what the consequences......

"Don't let your mouth right checks your ass can't cash!"

i disagree.....sadly and here is why. i think girls shouldnt be hit by guys but at the same time i know girls are people with brains and should not be stupid enough to attack a physically stronger being, if they do they have to excpect that that being is going to have subdue their mistaken attempts at violence.
Dont get me wrong though i also know it takes very minimal physical contact to control most women. the effort needed stops way short of hitting, but somthing like grabbing must be done if a bitch is flippin nuts on yo ass, ya feel me? haha

plus i never signed anything saying that girls could hit guys but not vice versa......

1. Women are and can be just as violent as men
2. If you make the choice to attack another human being expect them to return the favor.
3. Over 800,000 cases of domestic violence were reported last year in the U.S. where men were the victims
4. Men have next to zero resources for them if they are the victim's of domestic violence in regards to social services and shelter's for him and his children to go, thanks primarily to VAWA.

5. Link to page that shows over 200 studies relating to domestic violence that show women commit as much domestic violence as men http://www.csulb.edu/~mfiebert/assault.htm

6. More related articles

http://www.glennsacks.com/4_feminists_myths.htm <--4 top myths
http://www.ifeminists.net/introducti...20roberts.html
http://www.ifeminists.net/introducti...blumhorst.html
http://www.ifeminists.net/introducti...2005/0629.html <-- Good one.
http://www.hisside.com/7_03_05.htm <-- Audio show discussing the issue
http://www.batteredmen.com/duttfull.htm
http://www.ifeminists.net/introducti...15schuett.html