|
What are you wearing?
The donkey ate it. |
where's my hat?
a pile of assorted shoelaces. |
Q: This spaghetti is mighty chewy, what does it taste like to you?
A: Laying on the floor, staring at the ceiling. |
How do you like having sex with monkeys?
Postit notes. |
What did you write your term paper on that it was two weeks late?
Minature goats, soft, fluffy sheep and beanie babies. |
Q. What is New Zealand made out of?
A. the panther |
Q: Who did you like better? Inspector Clouseau, or the Pink Panther?
A: The damn thing took a bite out of me. |
Q: How was your krusty burger?
(/simpsons reference) A: I couldnt beleive it was so big!! |
Q:so....what did you think about that?
A:the old ladies up the block. |
Who did you have the orgy with?
four inches longer then average. |
Q: On a Guess, how long is your Wonder Weasel?
A: Diet Coke, Judy Garland and the cast of "Perfect Strangers" |
Q: so, what did you put in your pants today?
A:I dunno, it just felt right. |
Q. Why did you violate that golf club?
A. Up Main Street, then take a left. |
Q: Where can I find your local Democratic Party Headquarters?
A: I just hung in there until it was all over. |
Q: How'd you handle being sucked dry?
A: He had George W. Bush in his pants. |
Q: What gave you the idea that the Speaker of the House was THAT influential?
A: A man's gotta do, what a man's gotta do. |
Q: Why did you just crush that beer can on your head?
A: I don't know, but I think it likes you. |
Q: Did the Anaconda just get in my pants?
A: Well If thats the way its gotta be, do it; just run like hell. |
Q: Do you think that I should go and kick the 6'6" guy in the nards for talking to her.
A: that parrot is deceased |
Q: What a smart bird, is he reading that newspaper?
A: I have to do it when I first get up, or I don't do it at all. |
Q: Do you ever masturbate?
A: I like the taste of it, but cannot stand the smell. |
Q: do you like to give oral sex?
A:$6.95 plus fucking sales tax. |
Q: How much did you pay for your ukelele flyman?
http://www3.telus.net/kenman_pics/stuff/ukelele.gif A: I don't know, I was really drunk at the time. |
Q: now why would you put that pic of me up there?
A: past the barn,up the hill,then hang a right. |
q: how do i get to moocow rave where the moocows are dancing to techno moo-sic?
a: lots of pie, naked ladies with large breasts, spinach, oh and it was on the moon. |
Q: Did you hear about that disease that causes people to speak complete giberish?
A: It's nothing a little super glue won't cure. |
Q: my balls keep falling off; what should I do?
A: old pansies and my trousers. |
Q. what exactly did you put in that pie?
A. I thought the bleeding would stop if i put some butter on it |
Why did you apply butter to your nose?
Sex |
Q: What's your favorite pastime?
A: That's the way I planned it. |
Q. So while you were in Las Vegas, you lost all your money and had sex with a one legged prostitute?
A. Well nobody told me that's what you were supposed to do with it. |
Q: You do realize that pill was meant to be swallowed, and not used as a suppository? No, no, don't swallow it now!!
A: That's why I had to run away. |
Q. Could it have been the horrible stench coming from the bathroom after you were done in there?
A. a banana, the Washington Monument, a cannon. |
What are things as big as my dick?
Man, if only they'd have told me that, I wouldn't have jumped off that cliff! |
Q: What is the law of gravity?
A:Where is the telephone? |
Q: Why won't you stop asking me where the telephone is?
A: Yeah, when hell freezes over! |
Q: What's your opinion on people who dodges questions by changing the subjecy?
A: Bugs Bunny in that Girl Bunny Outfit -late post- |
Q: What turn's yer crank?
A: A can opener with a bucket of chicken. |
Q: How do I open this corn, and what's for the rest of dinner?
A: 42 small minded wrestling fans. |
Q: How many people did Brett "The Hitman" Hart fall on?
/ Going to Hell, apologies in advance A: I'll ask Satan that once I get there. |
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