What are you wearing?


The donkey ate it.

where's my hat?


a pile of assorted shoelaces.

Q: This spaghetti is mighty chewy, what does it taste like to you?




A: Laying on the floor, staring at the ceiling.

How do you like having sex with monkeys?



Postit notes.

What did you write your term paper on that it was two weeks late?


Minature goats, soft, fluffy sheep and beanie babies.

Q. What is New Zealand made out of?

A. the panther

Q: Who did you like better? Inspector Clouseau, or the Pink Panther?

A: The damn thing took a bite out of me.

Q: How was your krusty burger?
(/simpsons reference)

A: I couldnt beleive it was so big!!

Q:so....what did you think about that?

A:the old ladies up the block.

Who did you have the orgy with?

four inches longer then average.

Q: On a Guess, how long is your Wonder Weasel?

A: Diet Coke, Judy Garland and the cast of "Perfect Strangers"

Q: so, what did you put in your pants today?

A:I dunno, it just felt right.

Q. Why did you violate that golf club?

A. Up Main Street, then take a left.

Q: Where can I find your local Democratic Party Headquarters?





A: I just hung in there until it was all over.

Q: How'd you handle being sucked dry?

A: He had George W. Bush in his pants.

Q: What gave you the idea that the Speaker of the House was THAT influential?



A: A man's gotta do, what a man's gotta do.

Q: Why did you just crush that beer can on your head?

A: I don't know, but I think it likes you.

Q: Did the Anaconda just get in my pants?

A: Well If thats the way its gotta be, do it; just run like hell.

Q: Do you think that I should go and kick the 6'6" guy in the nards for talking to her.


A: that parrot is deceased

Q: What a smart bird, is he reading that newspaper?




A: I have to do it when I first get up, or I don't do it at all.

Q: Do you ever masturbate?

A: I like the taste of it, but cannot stand the smell.

Q: do you like to give oral sex?

A:$6.95 plus fucking sales tax.

Q: How much did you pay for your ukelele flyman?
http://www3.telus.net/kenman_pics/stuff/ukelele.gif

A: I don't know, I was really drunk at the time.

Q: now why would you put that pic of me up there?

A: past the barn,up the hill,then hang a right.

q: how do i get to moocow rave where the moocows are dancing to techno moo-sic?

a: lots of pie, naked ladies with large breasts, spinach, oh and it was on the moon.

Q: Did you hear about that disease that causes people to speak complete giberish?

A: It's nothing a little super glue won't cure.

Q: my balls keep falling off; what should I do?





A: old pansies and my trousers.

Q. what exactly did you put in that pie?


A. I thought the bleeding would stop if i put some butter on it

Why did you apply butter to your nose?

Sex

Q: What's your favorite pastime?



A: That's the way I planned it.

Q. So while you were in Las Vegas, you lost all your money and had sex with a one legged prostitute?

A. Well nobody told me that's what you were supposed to do with it.

Q: You do realize that pill was meant to be swallowed, and not used as a suppository? No, no, don't swallow it now!!

A: That's why I had to run away.

Q. Could it have been the horrible stench coming from the bathroom after you were done in there?




A. a banana, the Washington Monument, a cannon.

What are things as big as my dick?

Man, if only they'd have told me that, I wouldn't have jumped off that cliff!

Q: What is the law of gravity?


A:Where is the telephone?

Q: Why won't you stop asking me where the telephone is?

A: Yeah, when hell freezes over!

Q: What's your opinion on people who dodges questions by changing the subjecy?

A: Bugs Bunny in that Girl Bunny Outfit

-late post-

Q: What turn's yer crank?

A: A can opener with a bucket of chicken.

Q: How do I open this corn, and what's for the rest of dinner?

A: 42 small minded wrestling fans.

Q: How many people did Brett "The Hitman" Hart fall on?
/ Going to Hell, apologies in advance

A: I'll ask Satan that once I get there.