Jack Handey Quote of the Day 9-08-04
 

More from "Fuzzy Memories"

Of all my imaginary friends, I don't think there was one that I didn't end up having to kill.

(one more)

Grandpa used to describe the size of everything in terms of a calf. For instance, if he was describing a large dog, he would say it was "about as big as a calf." Or about a car, he would say it "could seat for calves comfortably." (Oh, that was another thing: how many calves could ride in something.)
One time he was talking about a calf he had, and I asked him how big it was. He said it was "about three-quarters as big as a calf."
Sometimes Grandpa would tell time by calves. If you asked him how long something would take, he'd say "About as long as it takes a calf to drive over here."

Long funny one will be posted tommorrow! (one of my favorites)

That first one's great. :lol:

That first one's getting stored away to spring on some unsuspecting conversationalist one day.