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No job, no money, no woman, no car...at 38.
Sounds like the title to a country song, but it's my life. Fiance just up and left me, I'm a contractor that hasn't had work in months, money is gone, and my truck just threw a rod. Yeah, this is me at 38 years old.
Have you ever heard of such a pitiful man? |
Yes, I have. Is that the question? Count your blessings, they do exist.
I hope you find employment soon. Cheers. |
As a religeous person I thank G-d every morning in my prayers for being able to wake, being able to use the restroom for every little thing in the prayers I thank. There are people who can not do those things. Work is hard, life is hard sometimes you just have to live and learn and carry on, and count every blessing all the things you do have.
G-d willing things will lift up soon and you will be working and have a new love and things won't look so bleak. |
You've got an internet connection and the ability to read and write. You are better off than most people in this world, man. It's hard to see now, but it's true.
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When it rains it pours, I guess.
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you make your own luck. if you've got nothing to lose, go out and try something different in the way that you find work.
i think you've over blown your situation. you do have a job and you do have a car. so that leaves you with no money and no woman. screw having a woman right now and concentrate on yourself first. the rest should fall into place |
Those last few posts make me wonder how many of you have ever been laid off without a nest egg and a clue as to what the fuck you're going to do. The bills keep coming in, you need to put food in your stomach (and by food I mean something other than ramen noodles) and "G-d" forbid you ever get sick - optimism and prayers would hardly be useful then.
Eddie, this economy blows and lots of people are in exactly the same position as you. I was there until a few weeks ago when a lead from a friend turned into a well paying gig after much of my freelance work dried up. Falling on tough times doesn't make you pitiful, it's whether or not you decide to push past them that determines that. Here's a few things I tried and some common sense gathered from friends and the internet: Do your best to keep your wits about you while applying for any and all available jobs. Shake the trees for any leads and recommendations - let every single person with whom you've ever shared a word know that you're in need of work. Leave off degrees and any other qualifications that may stand in the way of you getting even the most menial of work. If you're applying without a cover letter then you might as well not apply at all, especially online. File an application for unemployment benefits and every other form of government aid and leave a resume with every temp agency you can find. Never pass up an opportunity to network and with so many unemployed there's a lot of resources and groups of others that are also looking for work, link up with them to share leads and ideas and encouragement. I'm sure that if you're willing to tell us what state you're in then plenty of others will pipe in with more specific advice. Best of luck to you, man. |
i was there a few years ago. i was literally down to my last dollar.. a few times.
i lived day to day, and some days i had no idea how i was going to buy food or even put a few dollars of petrol in my car so i can go to work to make money. the worst of it was when i had no food in the house, no money in the account and no petrol in the car. I had 2 dollars (about 1.80 USD) in my pocket with payday another month away and i had to walk down to the shops to buy a tub of yoghurt and bread to eat, which was the cheapest thing in the shop. my mother cried when she found out. those were tough, miserable times, but i learnt a lot from those days and it only made me stronger. What i did to get out of the rut was network around with as many people as possible and finally i was offered a role overseas which led me to where i am now. |
Normally I would be full steam ahead looking for work and trying to pick myself up and keep moving ahead. But the fact that my fiance left has really taken all the wind out of my sails. My motivation seems to be completely depleted. I'm lonely and her absence more or less dominates the landscape of my life right now. Trudging...slowly.
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Focus on getting lots of exercise, and try to eat right and get enough sleep. It might be tempting to "let these things go." But someone in your situation will greatly benefit from keeping these things in balance.
Get rigorous exercise 3/week for 30 minutes, be sure to get all your nutrients (even if you need a multivitamin), and sleep at least 6.5 or 7 hours each night, if not more. You're going through a ton of stress right now, and the above things will help "put the wind back in your sails." Easier said than done, I know, but anyone who does these things will tell you: it works. I've been in a similar position as yours. If it were to happen to me again, I'd follow my own current advice. This is only one piece of the puzzle. The mental, occupational, financial, and relationship items are something you'll have to figure out. Consider my advice as a cornerstone to enabling you to do these things. Take care of yourself, and the other stuff will be that much easier. |
I'm really sorry - it totally sucks. My mom was in a similar position at the age of fifty-something, and it was really stressful. Things all worked out well in the end, but it's hard not to take it personally.
Stay busy, volunteer, educate yourself about things you've always wanted to know, and look at creative ways to make do. |
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Take a deep breath and jump. :thumbsup: |
Thanks everyone. I know I don't have it that bad, but everything seems worse when you have a broken heart. Everything seems so much more bleak when you find yourself suddenly alone. My moms sent me this -youtube.com/watch?v=ciYk-UwqFKA
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Eddie38 - I feel you, man, I really do. My girlfriend of almost two years and I broke up recently, and there are days when the act of getting out of bed is so anxiety-inducing that it causes me physical pain. It sucks, man. But like you said - you just have to keep trudging along, even if it's slowly. You'll get where you're going eventually, and it'll be worth the trip. |
Still broke, ex hasn't attempted contact in two months, haven't found a job yet, borrowed a car to drive from friends.
I've been selling off my belonging and have overdrawn my bank account just to get by. Anybody have any insight into when things might start to turn around? |
Ok. Here's the thing. The economy isn't turning around. The woman isn't coming back. Don't expect any external factors to change anytime soon.
With that in mind, start moving. Don't allow yourself to be paralyzed in frustration or fear of the future. You have options. You just don't know about them yet. Find them. Without the additional responsibility or financial obligation of a fiance, you're free to do whatever you need to do. Feel free to explore options you never, ever considered... Can you possibly scrounge up the nerve to do odd jobs for friends in exchange for food? Do it. Think it will help to sell your home and move into a camper shell on your broken-down truck, parked at a friends' place? Do it. Want to join a church and offer work in exchange for their charity? Do it. Want to donate your skills and time to Habitat for Humanity? Do it. What about joining a commune? Do it. Do you have the guts to be Amish? Do it. Why not try to learn all the edible plants in your vicinity and live off those for a while? Want to join a crowd of camping hippie-like homeless? Do it. There are ways to live without money while being happy. The main thing is getting out of your comfort zone and trying your hardest to make things work, while keeping a positive attitude. |
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Yep, loud & clear. I asked about your dog because I found my dog to be ...an important companion while healing a broken heart. Dogs listen and lick the teardrops away. They may just like the salt, but it's good, stay-in-the-moment-attention. Feel what you need to. I've been told that: "That at any given moment, we are doing the best that we can." |
I'm not going to change my life, I'm going to stick with what I'm doing and I like who I am as a person. I just need some things to tip in my direction. I need my ex to come back, I need to start getting work and I need to stop getting shit on by life.
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This last post of yours really stuck out, especially after all that you've read. Let me be clear: hope is not a strategy. Do you want to know one possible factor as to why you've found yourself where you are now? This idea that it's okay to just wait for "some things to tip in your direction." Let me reiterate: hope is not a strategy. If you want things to happen, you have to make them happen. You need to set measurable goals and you need to start working towards them---today---now. You say you want to stick to what you're doing. Let me ask you: How is that working out for you? You don't need to change who you are as a person, but it sounds like you need to change how you approach life. Do you let things happen to you, or do you make things happen? Take responsibility. |
Look, you're really not getting it...
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Turn to crack and hookers.
It's the only way out... |
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: I'm not laughing with you Eddie, I'm laughing at you. :expressionless: |
I don't know. Everyone is saying "do something", "make it happen". Make what happen? Do what? I mean, sorry but I'm not just going to go bag groceries or change careers. I am what I am. When my heart leads me towards something, I go for it. I don't just thrust myself out into the world and seize the first opportunity that throws itself at me.
I just believe we all go through rough patches. And I'm in one, a particularly difficult one, that's lasting quite some time. And really, to those who tell me my ex isn't coming back, well, there's really no way for you to know that so I'm not sure where you're getting your information. But I don't want to sound ungrateful. I do really appreciate all the advice thrown my way. But I just can't relate to the whole "get out there and make it happen" approach. I need more specific direction, personal direction that relates specifically to me as an individual. So I just have to listen to my heart. I've been able to sell enough of my belonging to get by for another month, so I'm gonna see what happens. Right now, I'm not being led anywhere, so I'm going to just wait. I don't think there's anything wrong with waiting. Besides, I'm terribly heartbroken and lonely right now and just don't feel too functional. Thanks everyone. |
Eddie, in your personal reflection do yourself a favor and ask yourself if you really want a woman who will walk away when you need her the most.
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You might not know what "make it happen" means right now, but that's what you have to do. Be specific:
If you don't do these basic things, you are putting your life at the mercy of others. And remember what I said above: you are the only person who cares about what happens to you. This means you should be the number one force behind what happens in your life. Listening to your heart is one thing, but you have to actually do something. Listening to yourself doesn't get you anywhere, action does. Figure it out or others will figure it out for you. |
If you're the sort of person who just sits around and passively waits to be led to good fortune than you have nobody to blame but yourself for your crappy circumstances. I got 5 to 1 says the fiancee left because she was tired of babysitting your pathetic ass.
I was going to type out a big long reply here, but honestly I don't think it's worth me taking the time because I don't think you're going to pay attention to it at all. So sure, sit around, listen to your heart, and do nothing. Let me know how that works out for you. I'll be sure to toss a quarter in your coffee cup when I pass you on the street. |
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I think you're confusing a few things here, Eddie.
You speak of not wanting to change yourself, something that no one here has recommended. It makes me wonder how you define yourself. Are you defined by your integrity? ... personality? ... family? ... job? No one has stated that they dislike you. Your perspective on the situation, perhaps, but that is different. They have simply offered well-meaning advice. Your resistance to altering your behavior to adjust for the current market is one of the many reasons you're likely out of work. Sure, blame the economy. But what's stopping you from branching off on your own - rather than waiting for assignments? |
If you had someone that relied on you to provide a roof and food you'd not be talking about following your heart. You'd be out there doing whatever you can to ensure that person whas getting those things. Here's a heads up; you are that person.
But if it is all about following your heart and not putting in any sweat equity maybe you should read The Secret since it seems like it is targeted at types like you. Good luck. |
Listen to this song.
Go start bagging groceries. Start saving. You will die a very poor desolate mean old man if you don't remedy your situation. Your heart is not a thinking mechanism. You are wasting your life away. Stop watching romantic comedy movies. Those are fiction played out by very talented RICH actors. |
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Xeryxs, while I can appreciate your no-holds-barred method of dispensing advice, I can assure you that I won't die a desolate man. Poor maybe, but certainly not desolate. There are too many people in my life who love me to ever be desolate. But maybe for you, being materially wealthy is the opposite of being desolate, in which case we just have a differing view on what true success is. |
What kind of dog do you have?
What's his name? |
He's a collie, named marshall. Why?
I hope my ex is in pain, because I am and she deserves to be too. She really does. ---------- Post added at 05:25 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:55 PM ---------- Xeryxs, that Cee lo song is farking awesome. Sh!t was just what I needed. cheers |
If you're not worth getting up in the morning and doing whatever you need to make yourself happy, then I'm sorry, luv... You're shit out of luck.
When you decide that you ARE worth it, get off your ass. I'm sorry, but I have no sympathy for those who sit back and wait for life to happen to them rather than participating in it. You're allowed to be sad and mourn, but at some point, you become responsible for yourself and your own happiness. There are a lot of smart people around here, many who have picked themselves up from the absolute bottom and moved forward in their lives. Ignore them if you like. Keep sitting there and something's going to run you over at some point. Good luck. |
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You do not want to be dependent on any one human being besides yourself man. This slump of yours WON'T end if you wait for it to. Well, maybe it might, but that will most certainly prolong the pain and you will come out the worse for it. In order to salvage what little esteem you may still possess is by becoming attractive to yourself. How do you do this you ask? (I think this is the question you are very much stuck underneath) You get aup and do whatever. Anything besides what it is you are doing right now. Bag groceries and go to bed still dreaming about the phrase "Welcome to McDonalds what can I get you today?". About your ex, dude, if she can do this to you now think about what she can do a second time. You do NOT want her back, I know you think you do, but you don't. I PROMISE you. Grieve and move on. If I typed all that to indulge a troll I will be fucken' pissed. |
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Man, I think people forget how it hard it is to function with a broken heart, like, a badly broken one. Only time can heal the pain. So yes, in one regard, I am waiting...I'm waiting to get better. You don't tell a runner to get in a race with a broken leg. So I think I just need some time to heal and then I'll jump back into the game. Until then, I'm sort of just, I dunno, wallowing I guess. |
Right. Because nobody here has ever had their heart broken. You're totally unique on that one.
I just don't care, at the end of it all. Sure it sucks and it hurts and you don't know how you're going to fill that hole and you don't think you'll ever be complete without her and sometimes you sit and contemplate spending the rest of your life alone because god knows you can't imagine ever wanting to spend it with anyone but her and the thought seems like too much to bear and you just don't know how you're going to do it. I mean, not like I know what that feels like, clearly you're the only one who's ever been there. Sooner or later you just have to pick yourself up and move on. You had a shitty thing happen to you and that sucks for you, but as long as you continue to let it (and her) control your life I'm going to have a hard time feeling anything akin to sympathy. It's your call. But if you can't even be bothered to try to help yourself, what's my motivation? |
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... I'm glad TFP was gentler when I first showed up in June 2007 with the same emo story. |
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You can get mad at me if it helps you. Clearly you're not interested in any advice, and I'm not interested in taking part in the little pity party you seem so intent on having for yourself, so I guess we're at something of an impasse.
If it was unclear, the part you didn't quote was the important bit. |
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grieving on your own gives the griever the idea that they are alone and that nobody understand their position like they do. Thats when people start to beat themselves up about their situation and their pitiful existence, because no one understand and no one's piece of advice is correct, because of course no one knows what you went through, except you. i think you're that person, and martian isnt far off. go see a public health specialist. your GP and your councellor would be a start. |
That's why I asked him about his dog.
My dog was the best therapist companion after a break-up. He would listen & lick the tear-drops. Yeah,he might have just liked the salt, but it was all good medicine. Feel what you need to feel. My counselor told me that: "At any given time, we are all doing the best that we can." |
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Niner, we were nice to you when you showed up
because you still focused on motion rather than stagnating in self-pity. /threadjack Carry on, I'm outta this thread. |
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Clearly you're big on playing the victim. Not a game I particularly enjoy, but different strokes I guess. I'm following noodle. |
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Healing is not stagnating by the way, noodle. Healing is just healing. We learn from our wounds. And Plan9, I like your excerpt there, if only I had something to dream about I might be able to pursue it. |
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The only person who can make decisions and choices for you is... YOU. The only person who can claim responsibility for your current state of affairs is .... YOU. The choice to find a dream to pursue is ..... YOURS. If you don't have something to dream about, then that might be a path of action right there in itself. Find a dream. People aren't just born with dreams. They have experiences and reflect on them and do things and reflect some more. But of all it requires Effort. If you are willing to at least try, you might find things suddenly looking a little different. |
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Why do you even want a job, money, a woman, and a car? Do you know that at least?
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Xeryxs. I don't want to be a zombie American...no way. Zombie America is the very force that's telling me to suck it up and get back out there and work and feed the hive. |
well let me break it to you..
you're never going to get the var, or the girl, or the job if you just keep selling your shit. get even a menial job packing groceries to at least sustain your lifestyle while at the same time looking for a proper job in your field. like everyone else has said..get off your ass and do something! its better than doing nothing and living off the proceeds of things youve sold. whats going to happen when you sell all your shit and you run out of things to sell? |
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Like a ship without a rudder.... or a captain.....
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Are you a glutton for punishment? Turn the fuck around. Take a left. Swim upstream. Whatever. You don't have to cross that fucking bridge. But it sounds like you're letting it happen, and that is why you're like a ship without a rudder. If you aren't, then you are where you are because you want to be there. Either snap out of it or be satisfied. |
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Snapping out of it doesn't mean waking up and finding yourself where you want to be. It means shifting your perspective, which can happen in a second...but you have to maintain it or you'll fall back into old patterns. I've found myself in a bad position myself; I know what it's like to seem to have nothing. If I didn't keep trying to hold onto a more constructive perspective, I wouldn't have snapped out of it myself.
And the metaphor of a ship without a rudder isn't a comment on your character; it's a comment on your actions. I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt that you have the character to be the captain of your own ship. You have yet to convince me, but I haven't made a judgement on you yet. I wasn't trying to insult you; I was making an observation based on what limited information I have in this thread. If you took it as an insult, then maybe you haven't told us enough about you and your situation. Either that, or maybe my opinion should give you something to think about. |
you'll take an action when you are ready. hopefully that's before you hit absolute rock bottom. maybe you'll act before it's too late, maybe not. either way making no choice is still a choice.
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If you have no reason to improve your life because you got dumped and you're selling off your stuff to make ends meet, you're severely depressed and bordering on codependency. Some couch time with a therapist might do you some good, perhaps you can get a discount if you bring your own couch and let him keep it when you leave, since that seems to be the way you're rolling these days.
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I'm selling my truck and taking a long trip next month overseas. I think it'll be good to just clear out of here for awhile, change the scenery, hang out with some foreigners. I know when I first arrive I'll be really lonely though. I'm lonely here and so going somewhere else where I don't know anyone will just exacerbate it. But I think once I'm there for awhile and meet some people I'll hit my stride. |
I think the issue people are taking with it is that you're selling your stuff off not merely because you don't need it; you're selling your stuff off because you need the money to get by. There's a difference.
And while I wish you the best in your healing, I sincerely hope you realize that this kind of healing isn't something that happens on its own. It's something you need to work towards; it's something you need to plan for and take action on. It's not like a flesh wound where you'll heal if you just eat and sleep as normal. You need to fix things actively. If you just "let it be," your mind will easily fall into patterns that work counterproductive to where you might want to be. I'll say it again: you have to take action. When you come back from overseas, try to come back with a plan, with goals....not just hopes, wishes, or dreams. Maybe your time away will give your mind the freedom to decide what you truly value and what you truly want. If this does happen, go for it. If it doesn't, try something different. |
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It's not that they can't read, you've not divulged. You've omitted for whatever reason and when they fill in the blanks, you accuse them of poor reading comprehension. That's mighty big of you. Apparently you've got some plan based on this post, but no one knew that because it was posted as a "woe is me I lost all these things and I'm selling all mah stuff." |
You know what irritates me? When someone comes here looking for advice, gets some that's really good and then proceeds to knowingly do the exact opposite.
Eddie, we're not the captive audience of your own little blues concert. It appears to me that you're just going to do whatever it is you're going to do and the hell with the rest of us. Others have given you shoulders to cry on. I'll be the hard slap of reality - when you get back from your Continental excursion, you're going to be in exactly the same place you are now - no job, no woman and no prospects. Only you'll have significantly less stuff, which might make it easier for you to fit all of it into a cardboard box under a bridge. If you want to fix your life, I suggest actually dealing with it rather than running away. |
Baraka, I respectfully disagree about the taking of action as if it were a pill to swallow,
or a monster to disembowel. Some actions are only visible in retrospect slo-mo. What appears to be a stagnating pond from the surface, is rich with microbial gymnastics. Bon Voyage, Eddie. Being able to travel overseas is quite the gift of opportunity. Pack your camera or at least something to write on, or simply record the experiences in your mind. I hope your pooch will be in good hands meanwhile. You will find yourself as lonely as you need to be, & perhaps scowling at what seems to be a whole world of couples holding hands. Aloha. |
The Jazz, I've never pretended that my original post wasn't a "woe is me" bitch session. And I've made it clear that I am wholly grateful for the effort and time people have taken to respond and offer encouragement. But I can't handle the insults and insinuations. I'm not some loser who has given up on life. I'm not gonna go off myself. And I realize that I don't have an unlimited supply of material goods to keep selling.
Cythetiq, I don't have a secret plan. I've never a had a plan. Just last week I decided to take a trip. It wasn't planned. I'm doing it because I need to change something. I need to do something different. I need a challenge. I need a spark. I did however get a new contract for work with starts December 1. Baraka, I don't completely agree with your take on healing. I think action is counterproductive when it comes to healing. Action can prolong healing and worsen the wound. Like a person who goes running when their broken leg isn't fully healed yet. Time is the key component, along with acceptance. I just don't buy into this whole "pick yourself up by own bootstraps" philosophy. I believe in community and friendship and family. We should never have to pick ourselves up by our own bootstraps. That whole "I have to do it all myself" mentality is a plague of our society and it's one of the reasons I'm going over to Africa. They may be poor over there but they know how to relate to other human being on a genuine and personal level that we have just lost in this society. ---------- Post added at 03:07 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:03 PM ---------- Quote:
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Eddie, I see this as a capitulation that this thread is simply a quagmire of self-pity for you to wallow in.
Congrats on the new contract. And if you don't see how that's part of picking yourself back up, then you've again failed to see the larger message people have tried to communicate. Word of advice: don't fuck any African whores. Most of the prostitutes, especially in Southern Africa, are HIV positive. |
Congrats on the new job.
The trip and the job, those are the things that many of us have been saying is doing something instead of having it fall into your lap. As Jazz says if you don't see that you're really missing the forest for the trees. |
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And just so you know, whores aren't my thing. |
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Someone asks for an ear & a little advice & they don't perform or fall in line like you want them to, in three or four posts on a message board? Jesus Christ. |
ring, let me blow your mind: I don't do pity parties. And that's what this thread has turned into, despite the fact that a lot of good advice from knowledgeable people has been offered freely and kindly.
This has nothing to do with my ego and everything to do with Eddie's. Feel sorry for him if you want, but don't go insulting me when I dare say something that doesn't conform to your preconceived notion of what "welcoming" is supposed to be. |
Its not just the whores. Africa has the highest incidence of HIV. I read somewhere that 1 in 8 women are HIV positive in South Africa, or will become HIV psoitive at some stage in their lives. its frightening.
which part of africa will you go to visit? there are some current hotspots you need to steer clear from. check with your local foreign affairs office before you finalise the destination. congrats about the new contract. |
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ive been to africa twice.. morocco, kenya and tanzania. will be there again in a few weeks time.
as for countries to avoid, off the top of my head, mali, algeria, niger, mauritania, congo, sudan, somalia, chad.. but dont take it from me. ask your State Department. |
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I know you're hurting; I've been in a similar position as you. But you know what? I've wasted nearly ten fucking years floating around not knowing what the fuck I want in life. In many ways, I still don't know. But what I do know is that I need to take action. Nothing is going to be served to me. I'm not going to wake up tomorrow and "get it" and suddenly live a happy fulfilled life. No. I have to make it happen. Success is not an accident. Take a look at most of the successful people around you. Ask them at random how they got to where they are and if they met any hardships along the way. I'll bet you dollars to donuts that at least 8 out of 10 of them will have some pretty shitty stories to tell you. Go ahead. Take the time to heal. But part of that healing will require using your mind to figure some shit out. It's not going to be easy, but you're going to have to own up to your life. You are the one responsible for it. You're going to have to make it happen. In most cases, you only get something if you give something first—not before. You have to decide what you want and then become determined to pay the price to get it. So far it sounds like you're waiting for a freebie. That's not a life strategy. That's a lottery. And you're not even buying a ticket. |
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Earl Nightingale was a broadcaster coming out of the '50s who became a motivational speaker. This is back to a time before motivational speakers, life coaches, and self-help books became a multi-million dollar industry and before you started getting bullshit like The Secret. Nightingale was often copied, and there is a good reason. He's probably the most genuine source of advice in terms of success and motivation. His stuff is now a bit old-fashioned, but it still has great value. His definition: "Success is the progressive realization of a worthy ideal." He kept it simple. If you can come up with a worthy ideal, and if you can take the steps to reach it, then you are successful. But success isn't something you get. It's something you keep accomplishing. Once you succeed and reach a goal, you set another one and keep going. This is what success is. It doesn't matter what job you have or how much money you make. As long as you have a worthy ideal and you see it come to fruition, then you are successful. I'm sure you could come up with some concrete examples of what a worthy ideal would be for you. But the question is, will you do what it takes to achieve it? All of this stuff. It is what you make of it. It won't do anything for you. You have to do the work. Nothing worth achieving comes easy. It takes focus and self-discipline. Nightingale was quick to point out that most people don't do this. Many people don't even sit down to think about what they really want. |
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I guess the point is, 'worthy' is a term that's too subjective to be of any use. You know, I've always found ideals to be very subjective and shallow because they're always imposed on us by someone else, some religion, philosophy, or by society or government. I don't know, I don't want to come off as some contrarian. Am I missing something here, Baraka? |
Don't be fooled, Baraka. It's all about the money.
I loved you in Wallstreet. |
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There's nothing shallow in wanting to be financially independent. It's shallow if you get it by selling crack to grade 8s. It's not shallow if you retire a millionaire by operating a lawn care business in your community (or whatever). You will get what you want out of life if you give others what they want. You need to find out what makes you tick, what gets you going, what you're truly good at and enjoy doing. Then you figure out ways to offer it to people who need it and will pay for it. That's how societies and economies work. There's nothing shallow about it. You give them what they want, and they give you what you want upon mutual agreement. Do this one step at a time and you'll be moving towards a worthy ideal. ---------- Post added at 08:55 PM ---------- Previous post was at 08:54 PM ---------- Quote:
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Sometimes you just have to drink yourself into a whiskey coma watching Law & Order reruns for two months before you're ready to get all We Are What We Do. If Eddie38 wants to throw a temper tantrum online and question his entire future, I'm all for it. I did it and it worked for me. Go for it, bro.
I think all too often we approach problems as if they are supposed to be overcome immediately. Sometimes no right-now action is required in order to create the kind of action you want in the future. Just "sleep on it." Or in this case: "Have a drink on me." And get over it. Get some, get some, go again. What are the steps of recovery according to my freshman psych text? Whatever. The point is that sometimes wallowing in your own vomit is the right answer. Eddie is going through a hard time and maybe he just wants to beat on himself a little bit. I'm all for embracing the funk. It's perfectly natural. My advice isn't for everybody. I was fired from numerous suicide hotlines because I told them if they couldn't find value in their life that I couldn't either. |
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So I mow the lawn of some guys mcmansion and he pays me $100, big deal. So he got his stupid grass cut and I made enough to pay my cell phone bill. That's success? Meanwhile people are starving in other countries. But, there's not really any money to be made in feeding starving people and it doesn't exactly further the aims of the Corporate agenda of enslavement here is the West(our society and economy). So...I dunno. But I guess if I can make a million dollars cutting grass...well, that's success. Yippee. But I need to find out what makes me tick. Well, money doesn't make me tick so...I guess I'm screwed? One thing is for sure, there's no shortage of people willing to impose their ideals onto me. |
For as depressed as you are, you're certainly not being very selfish. Consider this an area to improve.
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This thread is awesome. All kinds of fun tangents and arguments. I approve. I don't understand what exactly Eddie wants. But I'll offer the simple fact (we all know this) that you must fix yourself before you get a woman. You say money doesn't make you tick, but you put it in the title, so it must be important to you, as it should be. Start putting more value on yourself and what you own, good things will happen. Digging your hole deeper should be avoided as well. A simple order of things: job>money>car>woman. Those are arrows, not "greater than" signs, by the way. You will find happiness, whatever that is to you, along the way. Take it slow and easy, man. I think I was just thrown off by Plan9's comic genius, but was suicide ever a thought in your process, Eddie? 'Cause I have a great quote that needs using... |
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But so far at the very beginning of this discussion in the OP and for a number of the responses, you weren't willing to make any decision or take any action that you were willing to even share or discuss here. Suddenly last week you made this plan to go to Africa, and suddenly you had a contract. Things really kind of don't happen as suddenly as you make them seem, they germinate as an idea and turn into something. |
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I'm going to rest whenever I feel like for however long I feel like and no one is going to make me feel guilty about it. If I want to take 5 years off from work, I will do it. Just because others are lead through life by some crazy work ethic and some materialistic ideal doesn't mean I have to be. If you want more money and more stuff, that's your business, but I don't. I'm not gonna end up 80 years old with a bunch of money and a bunch of stuff just because I've spent my miserable life pursuing some bullshit capitalist ideal. And the next woman I get hooked up with is either going to share my viewpoint or she can continue on her merry old golddigging way. |
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One thing I can say with absolute certainty is that you do not want to feel the way you feel, and another is that nobody deserves to feel the way you feel. The cruel irony is that people in your situation often can't make it out on their own, but only they can do what it takes to get themselves out of it. If you have any further questions about my reading comprehension abilities, I can dig into the old files and start scanning my standardized test results. |
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If you're sick with materialism and capitalism, blah, blah, blah, then do something about it. Come up with your worthy ideal that isn't about getting stuff. Don't take one or two of my examples and think that's all there is. When the time comes, you will be able to sit down and really think about what you want. When you decide what that is, go for it. |
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You're on the right track. :thumbsup: |
Eddie, i see classic examples of your depressive state in pretty much every post you make. Pretty much every post from the feeling sorry for yourseflf attitude, to the running away to another country, to telling the next woman that its your way or its the highway. do yourself a favour and see a professional.
what my take on baraka is trying to say is that you need to find something you think is worthwhile and pursue it. something that will provide a service to others and bring about a positive outsome to humanity and satisfaction to yourself in the service you provided...and NO, before you tell me that an old pedo man giving lollies to a 6 year old is acceptable, no its not because there is no positive outcome in that 'worthy' cause. nor was there any in hitler's massacre of millions of people. it may be as small as helping the elderly at old people homes, to building houses in africa for habitat for huminaty etc. it may have no monetary value, but it may mean something to you and give you the satsfaction that you're doing something. what i really dont get though, and what really doesnt add up is how a broken truck will buy you a ticket to south africa and allow you to stay there for a considerable amount of time. some things arent adding up here, and i think that you're not letting on to your real situation. i also suggest that if you decide to not come back and take up this contract that you be fair to those people and tell them that you're not taking up the job. when and if you decide. |
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you're right. i skimmed parts of this thread because plenty of people gave you sound advice and you continually discounted them. it became tedious for me to see you continually shoot down good advice - scroll-scroll-scroll - [read last few exchanges]. its like watching the days of our lives... you leave it for a good 6 months and you can stick pick up where you left.
am i interested in your truck? do you ship to the middle east ? shipping on your account of course :D |
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i didnt ask for your humble apology. i was merely telling you why i missed that part of the thread.You dont need to blow things out of proportion....maybe thats the tend im seeing in your posts. im assuming thats your defence mechanism for dealing with things...
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