I think it's more of a demographic thing, it's (interracial mix) not uncommon on the East or West Coast but States in the upper middle. You walk on the streets in Los Angeles or New York, you see people of all colors. It's just a norm for them to intermingle. Often enough Cupid strikes up sparks and the worlds unite.

I'm an Asian and I have dated Whites, Asians, mixes, usually one being pursued, not sure why? I do have the ability to make just about any girl/woman laugh though.

i believe that its not the power, as you described,that asian females are attracted nor they are thinking about their children haveing better future if they had some "white" / "black" or whatever, blood in them. I beleive it is this way because of the their cultures. Most asian cultures pressure their kids (if they allow dating, etc) to only date male/female from their own cultures. I.e. indian/indian, or japanese/japanses etc. They are especially hard on females. Due to this restriction, when female dates a white or black or any other race than of their own, it gives them a thrill. Its psychological thing. You are forgetting that most people on top positions are asians (i am not being disrespectful towards any race). Therefore your theory of females being attracted to "white" or "black" is null. About 25% of CEOs,CFOs, etc,. positions are held by indians and others.

Now about white males, white males have constantly dated white females (subtitute black if you would like) ever since they have started to date. Most of the white (black) females know of their rights and know that they can leave their "man" at any time, since their backgorunds do not see this as a shameful thing to do. However, other cultures i.e. indian or japanes or chinese cultures see this things as a condition of humiliating disgrace to their famalies. Therefore, white/black men have learned (the once that want a good girl from a descent background) that asian females are far less likely to break their hearts.

BTW i am an asian indian and have dated girls from many background, white, iranian, indian, etc. And have faced many problems with dating asian girls, mostly family problems. I have got tired of this problems thus i look for girls that do not have any dating problems.


I suggest you watch eddie murphy raw comeday you will understand this better.
:)

My opinion has been well summed by ChrisJericho and Jorgelitho, so I won't bother to repeat. I think in terms of the white male/asian female combination, it is pretty accurate to stereotype most of the relationships in the reasons as stated. I don't necessarily like it, but I accept that we all make our own individual choices.

What I don't understand is why there are less asian male/white female combinations. Some of the asian guys in the forum have professed to have had white female partners and I do know asian guys who have/had relationships with white females. But by and large they are less common, and the typical reasons such as power, wealth, looks (or height or whatever) do not come into play. Although I have never asked, I think the relationships are based on compatible personalities.

Any white females here care to comment on why they are less inclined to go out with an asian guy?

Here's an unsolicited opinion about myself as an asian guy:
- I like asian girls because they're down to earth, will tend to have a more compatible personality and size-wise, they are petite and nice to cuddle with
- I like white girls because they are more outgoing, open minded, have nice sharp features and at the risk of sounding like a Himbo, have bigger tits (haha, that last one is a result of the onslaught of Playboy when i was younger and I do not think like that anymore)
- I like other women too - because like escargot and caviar, you don't get it very often. :)

As for why there are not as many asian male white female couples

I think the emasculination(sp) of asian males in media and in american culture is one reason to blame. This was mentioned before in the thread I believe. you don't agree?

of course there are others.

I think media portrayal and status in pop culture plays a huge role. I think this is also why black and latino men do well with other races. stereotypes of latin lovers and super masculine black men help them out. On the other hand black women don't do as well dating men of other races because black women are not portrayed as being very feminine. I don't have stats or anything that tell me that black men and latino men do well dating other races while black women do not, but that's just the impression I get from talking to people, living life, etc.. So if you disagree with that part I'm not going to argue with you.

to the person that said that many CEO's are asian.. yes true.. and that maybe powerful but not powerful in the "manly" sense. Who thinks that bill gates is "manly" he sure is powerful. I guess being manly is a certain type as well as perception of that power.

Good point of view, onesandzeroes. I think that is to a large extent a correct analysis of the situation. The media portrayal and the stereotype does play a part to a large extent. I am also a believer that stereotypes are true and perceptions is a good indication of the actual truth.

Any white women who have formed a different opinion of asian men, particularly the ones who have had been more exposed to western cultures? I had white friends when in Australia, but I did notice that it was not easy to break into the circle.

My mate is ethnically Indian (though born in Ireland and raised in Canada of a father from Kenya and a Mum from Mauritius, so go figger). Her first husband was a Big White Canadian Guy with blue eyes, fair skin and all that jazz. She told me that at that time, she needed a big white Canadian in her life to feel Canadian. She was hassled as a kid for being brown-skinned and used to try to scrub the brown off her body in the tub as a tot.

She doesn't do that no mo.

After her hubby split, she was not looking for a mate but we ended up colliding through a series of natural disasters. I'm a German Jewish English Episcopalian mutt. Our dotters (Thing One and Thing Two) are gorgeous hybrids. We just got back from a New Years party I played at, and in attendance were three other "interracial" couples (humans are one race, really) with kids (all gorgeous): Afrofem and Anglodood, Anglofem and Indiandood, Japanesefem and Anglodood. I've known these folks for years and I think they all hooked up because they love each other, not because of their ethnicity.

However, RE: me mate. So she was trying to adapt to The Great White North through snogging white guys as a young woman, but no longer gives a hoot. She's kinda embarassed about it now, but also thinks she came by it honestly. BTW, her sister is married to a Big White Canadian (the brother of my wofe's ex...) and always dated whitedoods. Ther childhood friends were either hybrids of interracial marriage or have since married folks of other races. All of them. We just got back from a holiday gathering of the extended Ontario Tribe and saw the whole lot and their gorgeous hybrid kids. Good times. Felt like the freaking UN.

Anywho, as for me...well, I've always liked the look of my pale olive skin against cocoa...and still do. I played in an african rock band for years and made love in that scene and played raga rock before that and made love in that scene and have hung with folks from different ethnic groups all my daze without hardly noticing, really. Then again, the Euro-Americans never tugged my heart the same way. Fetish? Nah. Aesthetics. And culture. And life history.

I think mfh may be right about the media, but I think a lot of people overestimate the intent behind these kinds of reactions. Even if you ask someone 'Why do you date <insert whatever>?', they probably can't answer that unless they are extremely and overtly racist. Attraction is not something that can be easily quantified, even if we *think* we know our reasons, we may only be observing our past behavior and making guesses. If attraction is considered somewhat out of our hands, certainly the media and past experiences would have shaped and continue to affect it.
Why are some white men attracted to asian women?
Height aside, there are certain build differences that can't be ignored.
Since 'white' is a constantly evolving term that swallows up more ethnicities every year, it is hard to pin down traits like eye color or skin pigment; the Irish, Jewish and Italians were not considered white when they first came to America en masse. Overall, however, it is hard to deny there is a difference in build (not height necessarily), but the bulk of the torso at least, between these two 'races'. Due to the incredible rate of obesity in the USA, any genetic disposition towards a slender build is a huge advantage, especially for women. These 'ideal' traits would be noticed subconsciously even if a person doesn't recognize them overtly.
For men, negative stereotypes may play some role in overt and unconcious racism, but probably more powerful an effect is just brought by all the Hollywood stars being white. Since Hollywood doesn't need to rely on making everyone pretty, just the few stars, they can afford to pull the most attractive members despite any overall racial trends, but when the images are assimilated by the viewers, skin color is not going to be the only thing people unconsciously absorb. Body type, hair style, mannerisms, clothes, and of course wealth can be a factor. None of those factors will trump a balanced person's views, however. Some people might only date a certain race, or people with a certain amount of money, but they are by far the minority. People have much less control over attraction than they think, especially over their own.
I think Dr. Rico's post above is right about it coming down more to aesthetics and (absorbed) culture, from all the sources around them.

My wife is half-Chinese, and half-German. Not sure how her parents linked up or why, I know she has never dated an Asian guy, just Euros like me. Just her preference, just like I am attracted to Asian women.

well, I thought I would add my two cents here since I guess this thread somewhat applies to me. I'm a male originally from Taiwan, came to the US when I was 1.

I am currently dating a white female, blonde hair, blue eyes for almost 2 years now. So when I read this thread about the high level of asian female + white male relationships, I kinda sit back and laugh because it's definitely not just the females who are into caucasians.

Well, let me say first off that personality comes first no matter what. I don't really care if a person is white or asian as long as they're compatible with me. However, when it comes to looks, I find both asians and whites attractive. I sometimes dig the petite short cute asian look, but I also like the fully developed white female look. Therefore, I basically just picked the best match for me out of my choices with race being a rather small factor. I was raised in a pretty traditional family, and while sometimes, I wish I could be with someone who had an asian background, it doesn't bother me all that much.

As for the female aspect, I have several asian female friends who are into white guys. I have no problem with that since these girls are basically what we call "white washed" in that they have assimilated into American culture so much that the only thing asian about them is their looks. If they're attracted to white guys, then that's fine, since many asian guys are attracted to white girls as well, it may not be THAT common yet...but I believe you will see a lot more asian guy + white girl relationships in the future.

Anyways, the asian girls that arn't so assimilated into american culture still prefere Asian guys. I know this because I go to Cornell University which is like 30 percent Asian and many of the girls there tell me they feel way more comfortable with an Asian guy, especially if they came to American recently. Bottom line is that no one really needs to worry about anything especially regarding race and relationships. If it works for you, then that's all that matters. As for asian guys being left out of the dating circle, I would like to say that I have never felt left out at all so this has just never been an issue for me.

I am a half Chinese/half Caucasion male (Who happens to be born/raised in Oregon). I have only dated caucasion females. I am typically not attracted to female asian facial bone structures (don't get me wrong, some of them are hot, I'm just speaking in general terms) and I'm definately not attracted to the (at least in part of Portland) attitudes of the majority of the asian females in the area. I do hang out with asian men, one of my best friends is full Chinese. We've gotten pretty used to what we call the "Asian Princesses" syndrome. 90% (collected by the out-of-my-ass method) of the asian women I've met that are in my age group (early-mid 20's) think they are God's gift to men because they are asian. My sister certainly thinks so. She also tends to not date 'asian' guys, well, not what people typically think of as asian anyways. She doesn't date white guys either. She is very much into dating middle eastern/western asian men.

i'm korean, and i have a russian boyfriend.. okay he's not russian he hates it when i say that, he's ukrainian but he SPEAKS russian. asians are really too cocky for me.. my dad once said to me "don't marry a korean guy, marry a white guy, they'll treat you the best" he said this to me when i was in 7th grade. he even said i can marry an african american guy if he treats me right! well MOST asians are really cocky and way too bold, i dont like that. i guess it's also really sterotypical of an asian to be with an asian, so i also prefer to break that. also my boyfriend is tall, i prefer tall guys, and most asians are short, so i guess that's also a factor.

Rawr... first post, be gentle.

I had to post a reply in this topic, because I find everyone's insight and opinion utterly facinating.

A small note before you read... I honestly don't have any opinion on this, I was brought up about as liberally as you can get and these are simply my minor observations from my own little world.

This subject is quite relavent to me as I (Caucasian British) live in a house with two other white guys, and we are all dating Asian girls. One native Taiwanese, one godknowswhat generation Indian (essentially Indian-British) and one second generation Hong Kong (my gf).

Contrary to this evidence, I honestly don't perceve a tendency towards "white male, Asian female" couples where I live at all. I see our household as a bit of an anomaly. There is a very large Asian population in this city (largest Chinese community outside of London) and thus when you walk around specific Asian districts you would very rarely see a resident interracial couple. I.e. I see loads of Chinese-Chinese or Indian-Indian couples every day and the Asian guys don't seem to have any problem at all.

Likewise, on my university campus I see many Asian-Asian couples, especially the overseas students, hitting it off together, presumably because they share a common language and culture. Disturbingly, there are many who attend and exhibit very poor English language skills and their academic performance suffers as a result... but that's a moot point. Obviously on campus there are a lot more interracial couples because of the huge melting-pot of cultures and backgrounds but I definately wouldn't say it was biased any way in particular.

Back to my friends and I; regarding parental pressure. I know one Irish-Chinese girl who's parents are very firm on the point of her only dating Chinese guys and has little choice in the matter as they use their funding of her study in England to guilt trip her. So she's stuck with this guy who IMHO is an complete loser (he works at a call centre and his only ambition in life is to produce a web-cosmic. Which he can't even do).

The Taiwanese girl's parents strongly disapprove of her dating a white guy but being the headstrong person she is, dates my housemate behind their backs.

My other housemate's gf's parents don't give a flying fig what she does as long as she's happy. (Awwww)

My gf and I haven't been seeing each other for very long yet, but she showed her mother a random picture I took of myself on her mobile the other day and apparently commented "Just looks like any other white guy...". Slightly more to the negative side of neutral than I would have preferred but I think it'll be okay. :)

I've only ever dated white girls before and had some pretty bad experiences... even one case of physical abuse. I just put it down to the fact that I was so much less mature then, and didn't even know what I wanted out of a relationship (well apart from sex, maybe). It wasn't the "exotic" look of my current gf that attracted me to her (even though I think she's teh sexy! ;) ), aside from the fact that we've got shed-loads of common interests, it was because she's the most amazing girl I've ever met. So much more open and honest than any other; I never have to second-guess her or read between the lines. I feel like I could just share thoughts with her forever. Do I think it's because she's Asian? No! It's 'cause we get on really well!

Um, well, hope you all wern't too bored reading that... that's all I've got to say for now.

My original thought on this matter was similar to Chris's: the Western double standard coincided with the differences between Western and Asian culture. Men are seen as confident, powerful, even brash. Women are seen as submissive, obedient, servile. (Of course, these are exaggerations of more subtle undertones in American culture. And I definitely am not defending and do not agree with this double standard; yet it exists) White culture is perceived as strong and powerful, individualistic and confident. Asian culture is thought to value loyalty, obedience, and order.

As you can see, White males fully embody the masculine image (not that it's necessarily true; it's all perception), which all women would find attractive, both whites and asians. Asian culture emphasizes the "feminine" qualities of asian females (again, this perception is more likely than not false!), making them more attractive to all males, both white and asian. And so we have white male/asian female pairings, but don't see as often the asian male/white female couple. Yes, there are many asian male/white female couples, but it is clear they are not as common as the white male/asian female couple.

So that's my personal, unscientific theory; pretty much the same as Chris's.

But jorgelito's posts really made some good points. Self-hate is probably a significant cause, one that I'll have to consider more thoroughly. I'd like to commend jorgelito for his daring and provacative opinions.

Also, the lack of asian sex icons among the many white and black sex icons is another good idea I've seen in this thread.

Remember, what I talked about only dealt with perceptions, not what I actually think of the different races. I hope it didn't sound racist. But racist perceptions are still significant in modern society.

When I first started learning Japanese, I had a hard time remembering Japanese friend’s names. I also had a hard time telling them apart. I felt bad, but I just was not used to it.

Now I have no problem remembering such things, and am able to see Japanese girls as attractive. But seeing Asian girls as attractive was not something I noticed right away, mostly due to liking fair-skinned blood hair blue eye girls. You have to admit Asian girls are far away from this look.

My Japanese classes are wildly different though. There are students in there who you would think, have learned the language just to pick up Japanese girls. To the point where, even when an ugly (at least I find unattractive girl, it is the teeth sometimes) is around, as long as she is Asian, they go nuts.

So there is something there, that American guys want. To be fair, I have heard a few women, normally a little older; have an interest for a Japanese guy. Higher fashion awareness and “pretty Asian babies.”

Personally, the most attractive thing about Japanese girls? I have gotten more sandwiches, massages, and cookies, from my Japanese friends who are girls, then all my past girlfriends combined. They just really enjoy taking care of people, and they enjoy small things that Americans do unconsciously, like opening doors for people. These personally traits are attractive, at least in my opinion.

But as I have told some guy friends of mine, Japanese girls are cute, but not sexy. They just, on an average do not have the T and A that American girls do. Nor do they have the sexy personality that American girls do.

Anyway, this is the information I can add to this forum. From my personal experiences.

i feel i should add my bit in,

my fiance is chinese, im white. When she met me she was very sheltered and didnt know anything, so the whole penis size is irrelevant.

She also thought that chinese were the superior race as had been taught to her at school, so that theory goes out as well. She has a chinese dad.

Infact she hated the british for attacking and ripping apart her country hundreds of years ealier, as taught her at school.

I asked her why she liked me originally , and the best answer she can give is I wore a big bright red shirt the first time she saw me. She was very proud chinese and red is the national colour. random, but it worked.

First off, let me say, welcome to the forum, it's a really great place. :)

However, i would like to point out some things. You live in Manchester right? Apparently, there is a China-town there, and China-towns have historically been insulated. Thus, it would make sense that the couples in there are Asian-Asian. Furthermore, you say that overseas students are hitting it off easily...are you sure that they weren't together before? And what makes you think that someone who cannot communicate with someone else (because of language barrier) will be interested in a relationshp with them?

Don't you think those are overly broad generalizations? "Chinese are a superior race."

What you're basically implying here is that Chinese people are in essence, narrow-minded and dislike other races. You are also saying that because she "had been taught at school" that it was the only societal influence on her life. What about popular culture such as magazines, newspapers, movies? Wouldn't that have influenced her, perhaps, in a more subconscious way?

Nonetheless I'm glad that you are betrothed.


It's funny you say that most asians are really cocky and way too bold. From what i've seen, asian guys tend to be subtle. And you're basically saying, "I'm dating a white guy to break the mold..." So you're supporting RAJC's theory of dating outside of a race to get the thrill....


P.S. Please do not regard these posts as flames, I am simply pointing out my opinions on previous points.

Update on my situtation (I'm asian male, dating white female)

It seems her parents disapprove of our mixed relationship, and have made it clear to her that they don't want us together anymore. I don't know what to do now, she still lives with them (campus is 10 minute drive) and they are a close family. I'm worried that if we stay together, it'll drive a wedge between her and her parents.

Here's another perspective: I asked some asian ladies friend of mine why some women prefer western men. They said that western men knows how to treat a woman right and treats them as equals. Asian men, on the other hand, can turn out to be chauvinistic and old fashioned. Truth is, asian men can still have the superior gender mindset and asian familiies, while perceived as family oriented, can tend to be reclusive, controlling and biased against the women. A lot of modern women prefer the freedom that the foreign men can give them. Most of these women are well educated and are exposed to the modern world, Which also explains why most women who prefer western men can speak english well.

Western women, on the other hand, will find difficulty adapting to the controlling asian culture. The mate may be open-minded but the family isn't. Ask your western women friends who have asian mates how they're getting along with the families, especially if they are migrants to the country.

Which also explains why the men in this forum who are born and raised in America (or UK, Australia or a western country)find it easy to go out with caucasians and have found it puzzling that some people think its a problem.

I only skimmed the previous posts since it's too early in the morning for me to fully concentrate, but I think a lot of it has to do with asian society, at least when dealing with 1st or even 2nd generation immigrants.

My fiancee is Korean and she doesn't like asian guys because in *her experiences* the males are seen as superior to the females. She's very "americanized" because she came over when she was young, and that 2nd class citizen thing doesn't mesh well with her mindset.

.... and cause we have bigger peckers, like PhilMcGroin said ;)

Good points, although I do not find them completely accurate, but that is merely my opinion. The part about Asian males being old-fashioned and chauvinistic is partially true, but that's because in any culture there will be chauvinistic males. I feel as though that is still portrayed in media today as an unfair display of the typically "assumed" cultural dichotomy of the Asian male and the Asian female.

I am surprised it isn't mentioned how western males can be EQUALLY chauvinistic (or whatever negative connotation you want to use).

I admit I only skimmed through the posts, but I didn't recollect anyone mentioning the overwhelming idea of Westernization and assimilation of the Western culture? Especially for the first generations, there is an apparent change from their immigrant parents ideology. While immigrant parents may remain relatively conservative, they don't experience the assimilation to western culture as fast as the younger generation, and from the look of it, westernization of Asians through media and popular culture leaves Asian males out of the picture--for the most part.

I'm not saying that's the entire reason, but there is some truth to that. The underlying message of westernization and further assimilation of American culture is very prevalent within the Asian-American youth.

And if this helps anyone, I am Chinese, and had previously dated a Caucasian female. There was an interesting dichotomy between her family life and mine, but that was not because of some repressive patriarchal family structure, but because of the attention that was put on family life and the appreciation of family life. I treated her like a gentleman and as a equal. She did end up cheating on me, but that has no relevance to the color of her skin or American culture. Take that with a grain of salt.

Sorry for the long post.

I completely agree. I believe there is an obvious tension inherent with any interracial pairing, but not because of racism or stereotypes, but merely a first impression?

Although one has the right to say they are dating someone of another culture/race/ethnicity/nationality to break the mold, I would definitely be upset if I was the guy who was helping the girl break the mold.

At least imho.

I think the focus is on some underlying issues that have yet to be fully explored--repressed issues, issues with portrayal and identity (with Asian-Americans in general), and the Westernization of Asians.

I'm white, and I date an Asian girl. She's awesome. Never really had any thoughts about "wow, I'm with an Asian girl" or anything like that. Just kinda wound up that way, and it's all good with us. She doesn't really "act Asian" per se. I say she's fake Asian ('cause she even has the eyelid fold). She thinks it's funny.

Haha I know what you mean. I never really understood but it's a big Western thing to have the double eyelid fold. To the point where Asians get surgery for it. Maybe not fake Asian...otherwise you wouldn't be dating an Asian girl...Hah.

Man this thread is getting kinda harsh.....but then its a cruel world out there and its kinda of the truth also.

But, I think that it is all about how you carry yourself. Doesn't matter if your black, white, asian, short, tall, etc...

It depends on the person who has the the type of qualities such as Charisma, Personality, Charms, etc... to sweep any girl/guy away.

It's all a game out there and you just have to accept how things are. Everyone and everything just needs time to adapt to new changes.

EDIT : Having a average or big weiner will be a huge plus which will help the relationship. :)

Small hmmmm I'm sorry but she will be cheating behind your back for sure even if you have all the above. :(

Now seriously, where is this statement backed up?

I guess some people are still ignorant enough to believe a "large" penis will help a relationship....please.

There is a dichotomy that exists with the "large penis" theory. First, it could be the *stereotype* (read: Labels, negative associations..etc. etc.) that asians have small penis's. I don't check out my white friend's dicks, so I can't comment on that. However, from this thread, it seems as if some people are gloating...about 7 posts up or so, one guy says "Because have bigger peckers..." In essence, this statement:

-Oversexualizes asian girls (sexual creatures who go for big dicks)
-Says Asian guys have small dicks
-Exudes a sort of imperialist haughtiness.

Don't get me wrong, i'm not ripping the poster, but can anyone relate to the underlying societal stereotypes that have been impressed among asians?

Part two of the dichotomy: I can understand where a large penis would be a plus in the relationship. From readin tilted sexuality threads, a healthy sexual life is a healthy relationship. Nonetheless, one should not assume that Asian girls, or girls in general go for a guy just because he has a large "pecker."

I don't know much about this topic but I think it's the personalities that are more attractive than anything. The race of the person doesn't matter to me, I think it's the who they are.

I cannot believe this thread is still going.

But:

I find it interesting if you look at the original post - and then you read the responses, one would think that half of the white men dated Asian girls and half of the Asian dudes dated white chicks. So it comes back to perception. Based on this thread the original poster is way off, but then that just illustrates what all of this is:

It is just opinion, none grounded in fact.

Funny thing about perception - it is highly influencial, mutable, sensitive to externalities and dynamic. Just exchange out any of the main nouns (i.e.- Asian) with another "label" and you'll start to understand how ridiculous the whole thing really is.

A large part of the problem is that, as a species (homo sapiens) we are essentially "label whores". It's just so easy to paint everything with a broad stroke brush and be done with it:

Black people are loud
Jews are cheap
Latinos (what is Latino anyway) commit crimes
White people smell
Asians are geeks
Women are bad drivers (really? Then why is their insurance cheaper?)
Catholic priests are molestors etc..etc...etc...etc...

At this point in human civilization we have not been able to evolve past our propensity to label and generalize. It is our comfort zone and gives us a sense of security. It gives us control. When we become more advanced (who knows when?) then "labels" as we know it will cease to matter.

My opinion:

Human beings are bipedal. Our eyes are rather large (proportionally as a sense) and are located in the front of our head. We are "designed" as a visual species. Therefore, we have a "need" to see things to better understand and subsequently control our environment.

EX: When a person walks into a room, he looks around. Sizes things up, checks things out. When a dog walks into a room, he sniffs around. Because his eyesight is relatively poor and sense of samell rather strong. A quadraped with a low center of gravity, dogs are typically smell oriented just as we are sight-oriented.

Therefore, we judge things typically by sight. Then we categorize, organize and make conclusions based on our observations.

The problem is: People are not necessarily homogenous nor monolithic. We are individuals with some shared characetristics and traits which is simply, variation within our given species along a range of genetic distribution. So, to judge within our own species so broadly is really not useful nor productive. In fact it is downright false.

"Labels" are meaningless when there is no substance or meaning attached. Because the labels we assign each other are not based on any fact but based on phenotypical or anecdotal behavior subject to a wide range of environmental, social, external variables, we can conclude that the labels are therfore meaningless and without merit.

If in doubt, just try and apply the scientific methods to any racial or ethnic profiling. It simply doesn't work. We are individuals, not members of a demographic subject to the "traits" ascribed by ignorant observers.

Another element to the racial dynamic in relationships: Familiarity breeds habit and comfort. We tend to stay within comfort zones. If I grow up in the countryside near a lot of white folks, chances are I will be comfortable and possibly seek out other white folks who like to live in the countryside. Which brings up: Shared interests - learned attributes, culure = learned, NOT inate or by "blood". Ther's no such thing. If a black guy donated blood to save my life, do I become black? No, of course not, though we may now be blood brothers.

Shit! I have to go...to be continued....

**chuckles in rememberance of the look on my high school friend's face when I told him of the "white people smell like wet puppies" thing that circulates amongst the black community**

Looked like this :hmm:

I am from the west coast of Canada, and I out of my girl asian friends , it seems to be an even split , half of them dating white, the other half with asian boyfriends.
I am a white male , and have dated two asians.
Some one said asian guys seem lonely, and I have to second that......

I dont know...but for some reason, I find medium skinned people (asian, latin, etc) people to be more attractive. I dont really think that the reason I like my girlfriend is because she's submissive....she's not.

she's not petty (I have dated petty white girls, where everything is a constant game of her acting like she's mad and wanting me to kiss her ass and make up), she's beautiful, she's smart, and hard working.

I was going to try and generalize as to why asian women like white guys, but im going to give my case.
besides the obvious things that girls want, I have a passion for knowledge, and not necesarily just "book learnin". I have a damned good edge in figuring things out because thats what my life is based around (so in other words, Im pretty useful to have around). -Thats one of the things that separates the "white guy" from the "asian guy".

and I dont really have any pre-conceived notions that I need to follow a certain tradition, etc. so she doesnt really feel like I would be something to limit her freedom (like her parents). since her parents would have her be submissive, its easy to assume that someone else of her own culture would want her to be submissive as well.

I think its funny that people use the term interracial...I'd never even thought of my relationship as such until my dad used the term. I think that in the coming generation, you're going to see alot less people who care about race...to me, true "race" just really isnt even a factor, there are many more non color-specific things that make a girl special.

and about the asian guys seeming lonely, etc..now that I think about it, I could agree with that. they also dont seem very robust..if that makes any sense. it may not even be a factor, just a casual observation by my stank white arse

Im asian female only attracted to white males. Im not at all attracted to asian males at all. Any asian males I meet, either friends of family, or off the streets, find me to be too wild and bold. They're too quite for me, and very conservative. They are quite unattracted to me, and vise versa. The white males that I know, and have met, accept me, and think nothing of my independance and my ability to have an opinion. I am not traditional, and I dont expect my partner to be either. Ive only dated white men, and I highly doubt I will date an asian man. Theyre more attractive personality wise, and physically.

A little confusing.

Whoa, thread resurrection...

Missed it the first time though, so guess I'll chime in here:

I'm "Asian," I guess. My mom is from Thailand, dad from Iceland. (My stepdad is white American.) And believe me, there are a ton of Icelanders marrying Thai women... there is something appealing there, both physically and the fact that they are more likely to be "traditional" women.

However, as an "Asian" raised in suburban Seattle, I have to say that I've never been too attracted to Asian men. Some had potential, but most, unfortunately, fit the stereotype of being too quiet, etc. I am pretty gregarious, not good at math, definitely NOT submissive... I'm more "American" than I am "Asian," despite my looks and strongly Thai-influenced upbringing. I dated white guys, yeah... but they got boring, too.

So now I'm with an Arab (Lebanese) and it really has nothing to do with his skin color or ethnicity. If he had the same personality in an equally attractive package (black, white, Asian, etc), I would still be attracted to him, I believe. Then again I've never been one for measuring attractiveness based much on looks, let alone skin color. (And yes, he happens to be very hot, lucky me!) :D

Well, I'm not a guy, but I am a white person married to an Asian woman. I do tend to be attracted to Asian women, though not to the same degree as Latinas. I'm also more attracted to tall women, and women with nice curves. I don't know exactly what it is, except that that's my physical type. It certainly isn't anything having to do with being submissive or exotic or traditional; Grace is about as far from that as I could imagine, and I wouldn't really find a woman like that attractive, no matter what she looked like.

I'm not trying to claim that physical attractiveness has nothing to do with it; that is why I first noticed her. But I fell in love with her quiet, strong, gentle soul.

Regarding the OP, and in line with what abaya was saying, I suspect that the mail order bride industry may have something to do with it. Tens of thousands of American men, mostly middle-aged white men, are marrying young women from poor Southeast Asian countries, principally the Philippines and Thailand. I have a friend who met and married a young Filipina through one of those agencies, and they both seem quite in love and happy with the relationship after several years. The Filipina isn't shy about saying that she's attracted to white Americans, and only them.

The reverse doesn't happen. There aren't middle-aged white women traveling to the Philippines looking for a young man to marry and bring home, and I suspect that it would be most fruitless for them to do so.

Why is this? An attractive girl 20 or 30 years younger is something that seems to be an attractive mate for many men, and if she's poor and innocent, that's not much of a downside, while the reverse isn't true, not even remotely, with most women.

As I type this, I'm watching Lost, and though Maggie Grace and Evangeline Lilly are both quite pretty, they don't affect me the way Yunjin Kim and Michelle Rodriquez do. I don't really know why.

Gilda

Whoa. Well done. I've not seen anybody approach a subject so carefully and without bias before. And it's a can of worms really. A tricky topic.

In general, I reckon that your theory is pretty good. There're amendments that I could add but I'm going to think on it a bit more first.

I will say that I think country of origin affects the situation a little. Also... the "visit reason" of the person. We have locally born "asians" here (who I'd generally prefer to simply call Australians), students, globe-trotting professionals, and lots of tourists. They all interact quite differently with society.

That presumes that they have a different culture...

What about a man of asian ethnicity - who had been brought up in your local community?

I've been to school with asian kids, and although most asians in Australia are recent migrants, tourists or foreign workers - a smaller number are locally born.

In some of these cases there doesn't see to be any significant cultural difference. ("Anglo-Aussie" vs "Asian-Aussie"). Vietnamese may be an exception, but they arrived in fairly traumatic circumstances, and recently in the historic scheme of things.

Dunno. Is it not like that so much in the US?

Oh. You already asked... Whoops I sorta duplicated yours.

In China, they have ethnic groups - but they are all asian (to our eyes). There are very few foreigners compared to US, Australia, UK, Canada.

They go to school with Han Chinese. The schooling is provided by the communist party. The media is owned by the communist party. And truly.... in the past the English and some European powers treated the Chinese badly (as did the Japanese).

There is nothing wrong with them as a people for having (to some extent) these views. It's just that this is what they've been taught and what they've experienced. "Political correctness" as understood in the US, UK, Australia, Canada differs from political correctness in the PRC.

chuckles right back... remembering when I explained to my buddy that he had the strong musky smell that was circulated around our school as the smell for black people...

I spent some time in Sri Lanka, where the people there thought that everybody from North America (regardless of race) stank because they only used toilette paper after 'pinching a loaf' so to speak. Over there, they use the left hand to wash with water, leaving no smell.

But I had no I idea that 'white' people smelled other than if they ate garlicy food, then they would smell of garlic, cheese well, cheesey...

I date several 'asians' (oriental back then) when in university, and actually married to one (a cbc - canadian born chinese whose parents hailed from Guangzhou - fine cantonese stock!) 19 yrs ago.

I was attracted to her for the opposite reasons stated previously. She has a strong personality, and will stand up for herself. She had to to go against her parents wishes to 1) go away to university and 2) date outside her ethnicity, never mind race.

I find this strength of personality very attractive and sexy. Her blinding white smile, beautiful dark haft of hair, petite figure (still so after 3 kids and being 42 years old!!) certainly goes a long way too.

Our kids are exceptionally beautiful, the 16 year old is constantly compared to Keanu Reaves.

Oh, while at university I did date a series of non asians as well, and only seemed to have a preference for blondes, red-heads and dark haired girls. I.E. it seems that opportunity and mutual attraction was more of a motivator than specific 'types'.

Leto, first of all, I liked your story about your wife. :) Now for responding to something else you said...
Well stated. Perhaps because I am the product of two people from very different cultures (immigrants), I am more interested in people from different cultures than my own... I mean, I'm an anthropologist, for god's sake. But just because I happened to run into a really kind, good-looking, intelligent guy in graduate school and he happened to be Arab, doesn't mean that I am into the "exotic" look and want to "break the mold" (especially since my own parents already broke their molds). It just means that we hit it off. :)

We often hypothesize that one of the reasons we hit it off was because he comes from a Muslim/Christian family (rare combo, esp in Lebanon), and I come from a Thai/Icelandic family (rare combo, esp in America), that we were drawn to how far out of our respective "molds" each of us were... the openness factor, I guess. Does that mean we are "exotic" to each other?... I don't think so. I just think we are pretty unique individuals, and the chances of meeting someone else like each of us, is pretty slim. And we happen to be attracted to each other. :lol:

Of course, the fact that I AM an anthropologist means that I love the added "bonus" of getting to check out his country and culture... but that was certainly not a motivating factor. If he was some suburban American white boy who happened to be kind, good-looking, intelligent, with lots of international experience and knowledge... well, I'd have fallen for him all the same. Chances are, though, that finding a suburban American white boy with that kind of cosmopolitanism would be pretty tough (sorry, guys). I gave it a try before, and got bored!! :lol:

Ah, this old thread..

Anywho, I stumbled over this website and thought it was kind of relevant.

http://www.proudasianamerican.com/Ar...2004%20ACS.htm

An interesting, if long winded census analysis of interracial asian relations. Looks promising for the future (as a Chinese American male ;)).

I think chuck norris likes the asian ladies...
 

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

Well explored post. I would say that very few of us, at least in this society, make conscious decisions about anything, much less relationship choices. I believe your summation of the source of interracial relationships to be solid, as well as broadly applicable. I don't necessarily think that interracial relationships are bad. I do find a failing when the main criteria for involving yourself with someone, subconscious or not, is based on such a superficial level. If you appreciate a person for WHO they are, instead of what they represent, then you are pursuing happiness for both, instead of weak gratification.

Umm, I'm asian, and I've dated some white guys (no racism intended, I'm use to calling them that, it's easier for me), my reasons are that they are more open to exploration and I have a curious nature that likes to explore ;), they seems to be more open about sexuality and what not. For instance if you go and tell a white guy that you have a one night stand before, he'll probably be like its pretty common here, while if you tell an asian guy he'll assume your a slut already and probably wouldnt want to be lay a finger on you.

But aside from that I think your hypotheses are generalizing such a board subject, since everyone have their own different reasons of dating before even thinking of the technical things like racials differences.For example, some of the answers recieved from the girls you inquire to "why they date white guys" could be what they really mean, that its the personallity that attracts, is that hard to believe?

I'm only going to post to this thread once, I hope, because I really dislike this topic of discussion*.

1) Asian females' attraction to Caucasian males:
Statistics. This has already been mentioned, so here's my gloss:

Across the US, Asians are still one of the smallest minority groups. Despite the fact that they tend to be heavily concentrated in particular areas, Asian males and females are still, usually, statistically a minority.** To date solely within an ethnic group makes your options very limited. I believe females feel they have more opportunity by disregarding ethnic background and looking for whatever it is they are looking for in the population of available persons (be they male, female, or whatever color of the pigment rainbow).

**That being said, I am from the Silicone Valley where some cities are now almost 50% Asian, mostly Asian Indian. In some cities here, Asians are literally the majority. In the last US Census, almost half of the top Asian populated cities were from the Bay Area.

2) Caucasian males' attraction to Asian females:
Exoticism. Someone has already explain the long history of Westerners exoticizing Asian females.

3) The thing about the average Asian being 10cm shorter than a Caucasian means half of the Asian population is taller than "10cm shorter than the average Caucasian" and that half of the Caucasian population is "10m shorter than the average Caucasian." There is far more overlap than that statement initially leads you to believe, so arguing about the three personal observations of outliers of Asians who are taller than that statement and the Caucasians who are shorter than that statement is moot because the statement does take that into account.

* 4) I dislike this topic because it's not an "issue" as far as I'm concerned. Based on personal observation, most of the "concerned" voices are Asian males. I think we should really be looking to that for the answers and not Asian F/Caucasian M.

Again this goes back to the history of Asian and Western relations. Asian males have been made social outcasts. Many of the stereotypes have been mentioned (too short, small penis, cultural differences, etc.). I believe many Asian men, and other people who "theorize" about why Asian females date Caucasian men, are really just looking for someone to blame for their frustration with dating women, of all pigments. Many of the Asian male stories are "I get rejected by Asians. I get rejected by Caucasians. I get rejected etc. etc." The source/reason of the topic seems to boil down to jealousy, frustration, and/or misogyny.

What can we do about it? Stop fighting over petty concerns like who is dating who and focus on how to break stereotypes, not proliferate them by making "theories" about entire populations based on 2 personal observations.***

***And yes, I'm aware I am making personal observations about Asian males to make this point. It's not an absolute statement, as there are always outliers and exceptions to the rules. I am not referring to all Asian males, but those who are complaining about and/or discussing (Asian) American females' dating as an "issue."

Other reasons I dislike this discussion: I get tired of listening to people bicker about racism, sexism, stereotyping, etc. Life is not black and white, but this discussion almost always approaches the topic in that manner, which I find highly irritating.

motdaksha--I almost agree with your sentiment--up to the point where you start generalizing why asian men are frumpy sexually frustrated complainers. The study linked above shows clearly that there is an actual phenomenon occuring, and that it's not just pessimism and 'sour grapes' discussion. Asian men, of course, are the most concerned about this, but is this a problem? Why are blacks more concerned about black rights than people of other races? Everyone is most concerned about what affects them personally.

But I'm with you about all the generalizations--best you can do is be your own person--fall in love with a person, not a race. And if some people have some racial quirks associated with their sexual preferences, you're not going to be able to change those preferences any more than you can change a person's predilection for handcuffs, leather, hairy chests, etc.

Nevertheless, it's interesting to talk about *why* people have those racial quirks, just as it's interesting to talk about why people like hairy chests! (or....maybe some more flavorful sexual quirk would be more fun to discuss :thumbsup: )