Fractured English in Software Instructions
 

I just got a USB flash card reader and was reading thru the install pamphlet and saw a couple of paragraphs that gave me a chuckle

Plug card into the right slot and don't mix up. We charge service for decrease of products due to inappropriate operation by users

Do not extract card reader when it is on operation for fear drop information stored in the card or even the loss of the whole system.

Anybody got some others?

[obligatory]All your base are belong to us.[/obligatory]

On a small sheet that came with a battery-operated Airsoft gun:

"Do not use bad batties. Only to use good batties." And then something along the lines of "Bad batties" breaking the gun, though I can't recall what it said exactly.

heres a few i have found

"Drop your pants here for best results."
-sign at a dry cleaning store in Tokyo
"We take your bags and send them in all directions."
-sign at a Scandinavian airport
"Ladies may have a fit upstairs."
-sign at a dry cleaning store in Bangkok
"Please leave your values at the front desk."
-sign in a hotel in Paris.
"Here speeching American."
-sign in a Moroccan shop.
"No smoothen the lion."
-sign in a zoo in the Czech Republic.
"The lift is being fixed. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable."
-sign in Bucharest hotel lobby
"Teeth extracted by latest methodists."
-sign in Hong Kong dentist's office.
"STOP! Drive Sideways."
-detour sign in Japan.
"Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time."
-sign in a Rome laundry.
"If you consider our help impolite, you should see the manager."
-sign in an Athens hotel.
"Our wines leave you nothing to hope for."
-on the menu of a Swiss restaurant
"It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man."
-in a Bangkok temple
"Fur coats made for ladies from their own skin."
-window of a Swedish furrier
"Specialist in women and other diseases."
-doctor's office in Rome
"When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor."
-car rental brochure in Tokyo.

American engineers write things just as stupid as those.

Tropple, that's a thought. In what language do you see stuff mangled by English speakers? I'm always amazed companies so casually alienate their customers by releasing product without a quick proof by the consuming market. The stuff we see daily in the US - boxes, product manuals, supporting materials - is abominable. (similar to the examples above.) Of course I haven't been on the receiving end of products shipped to non-English markets. Always assumed the translation people we hired were doing their job.

Be Check The Oneness
 

here are some I've collected...

HDD Assembles Elucidation

1. Make an effort to press in the direction that arrowhead point the
plastics lock button up, such as picture A

2. Heading up the upper cover to turn over to rise, such as picture B

3. Cover up and down to separate then and completely, such as picture C

Is good machine plank according to the right method conjunction the hard
dish, lock the tight and HDD, cover the upper cover, and immediately
trust the usage.

--instructions for opening and closing an external USB drivecase

1. Power ON your notebook with Windows 2000.
2. Into the usb card bud to computer PCMCIA Solt.

--From Instructions for a PCMCIA USB card

If This Label Was Mangled, Be Check The Oneness
Of Outside Carton, Weight And Security Strip With
Your Forwarder. Otherwise You Get No Guarantee
On Quantity.

--label on a memory upgrade kit

To assembly the front panel with
plugging two hooks of the bottom of
front panel, into the chassis body and
snaps the springs of front panel in.

--how to attach the bezel of a server chassis

Comedy. Gold.