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Am I an ass hole for not giving my friend a ride?

Discussion in 'Tilted Life and Sexuality' started by soma, Aug 18, 2014.

  1. soma

    soma New Member

    Back story:

    -I finished school and posted on facebook
    -Long lost buddy congratulates me, we plan lunch
    -Lunch plans get cancelled and rescheduled several times, not anyone's fault
    -Finally meet for lunch when he's at the airport, turns out he's going out of the country
    -Turns out he was planning to stay at the airport overnight before his flight the next day, I offer to have him stay in my extra bedroom for the night
    -Comes back to town 2 weeks later and calls me and says he needs a ride back home (2 hours one way, I'd get back at 12 midnight)
    -There is a shuttle service from my town to his town that offers daily service, so I refuse
    -I then feel like an ass hole, he doesn't have a lot of friends in town and said I was the only one who could give him a ride

    Am I in the right or in the wrong? Or is this kind of a gray thing?
     
    soma, Aug 18, 2014
    #1
  2. Borla

    Borla Moderator Staff Member

    A 4 hour round trip is far more than a casual favor. I don't think it makes you a bad guy to refuse, though I am making that assumption w/o knowing the reason you refused.

    I do think it is something a good friend may do, but it also isn't something a good friend would assume would be done for him, especially if a reasonably priced shuttle is available.
     
    Borla, Aug 18, 2014
    #2
    • Like Like x 3
    • Agree Agree x 1
  3. amonkie

    amonkie Very Tilted

    Location:
    Windy City
    I wouldn't even dream of doing it without someone offering up gas money and buying me dinner, AND ask me ahead of time. Being put on the spot because you failed to make thorough plans does not constitute an emergency for ME.
     
    amonkie, Aug 19, 2014
    #3
    • Like Like x 1
    • Agree Agree x 1
  4. Snoogans

    Snoogans Getting Tilted

    Location:
    Uppsala, Sweden
    You're not an asshole, and this isn't a gray thing.
    He knew he was flying in, what day and at what time.
    I'm assuming he's a grown-up, and able to use the internet to look for, and book, transportation possibilities.
    He should also be fully aware this was not a small favor to ask from you, and if he's even a little bit mad about you not taking 4+ hours out of your day to his convenience, he's the asshole here.
     
    Snoogans, Aug 19, 2014
    #4
    • Like Like x 4
  5. Chris Noyb

    Chris Noyb Get in, buckle up, hang on, & be quiet.

    Location:
    Large City, TX
    Maybe asking "friends" at the last minute to make a four hour + round trip drive explains why "he doesn't have a lot of friends in town."

    Snoogans' reply is spot on.
     
    Chris Noyb, Aug 19, 2014
    #5
    • Like Like x 3
  6. Stan

    Stan Resident Dumbass

    Location:
    Colorado
    If you can't say no without issue, it's a demand, not a favor.
     
    Stan, Aug 19, 2014
    #6
    • Like Like x 2
  7. cynthetiq

    cynthetiq Administrator Staff Member Donor

    Location:
    New York City
    seriously that's a fucked up thing.

    4 hours?

    I love to drive and will drive at the drop of a hat for many reasons, but I'm the one that picks and chooses based on what my schedule allows. Now if he goes by the book, might be a different story.


    View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQ0VV1naCrM
     
    cynthetiq, Aug 19, 2014
    #7
    • Like Like x 1
  8. soma

    soma New Member

    Thanks everyone. I've always kind of been a pushover my whole life and I was worried I was over compensating by refusing this favor/demand. Anyway, he wasn't mad or anything and I think things will be ok. I thought the world would turn upside down if I said no, and ... it didn't. Lesson learned (and I'm almost 30).

    I'm stealing this.
     
    soma, Aug 19, 2014
    #8
    • Like Like x 2
  9. ralphie250

    ralphie250 Fully Erect Donor

    Location:
    At work..
    he should have asked you in advance, if someone wanted me to take 4 hours out of my day to give them a ride it either better be an exterme emergency or have planned it in advanec
     
    ralphie250, Aug 20, 2014
    #9
    • Agree Agree x 1
  10. oldtimer56

    oldtimer56 umime

    Location:
    East Texas
    Long lost buddy usually means that they want something with nothing to give.
     
    oldtimer56, Aug 20, 2014
    #10
    • Agree Agree x 1
  11. SIJALICA

    sijalica New Member

    Relax man, that is totally normal, he's the one who have really weird wishes :D
     
    sijalica, May 25, 2015
    #11