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Birth

Discussion in 'Tilted Life and Sexuality' started by genuinemommy, May 3, 2015.

  1. genuinemommy

    genuinemommy Moderator Staff Member

    Ladies especially, please share your experiences with giving birth or observing birth.

    Have you observed (in-person) any births other than the ones for your own children?
    Do you feel your birthing experience was overall positive?
    Do you think your experience changed your outlook on parenting or impacted your relationship with your child's father?
    Do you plan to do things differently should you go through another birth?

    I ask because I am due with my next baby in just under one month. We're on baby watch, expecting baby to come at any time at this point. We feel prepared at home. This time we have not put as much effort into preparing for the birth itself. Last time things went so smoothly, we just haven't felt a need. Sure, I have a sterile bag of items prepped for an emergency home birth in case we don't make it to the hospital. My hospital bag is packed. Our birth plan has been signed by our doc. We have plans for littlegirly to be taken care of as we are at the hospital. But we haven't toured the hospital, we haven't done any child birth courses this time. I haven't devoured dozens of books on the topic nor scoured scientific literature for anthropological accounts of birth. No... This time we are playing it much more by ear.

    Littlegirly was born on a weekend, just one week before her due date. She was honestly easy to birth. There wasn't pain until the last minute or so as she crowned. Everything went smoothly. Hubby (Tt) was there at my side to keep me calm and hold my hand. We were both in tears as we met our daughter, in disbelief that it all worked out. And it secured our bond in an entirely new and unexpected way, filling us with a new love that translated into a more attached parenting style. The birth was almost too perfect. It sets up a terrible precident honestly... I've never seen another birth live. I have no true means of comparison. I wonder if the next could possibly be anything as magical.
     
    Last edited: May 3, 2015
  2. genuinemommy

    genuinemommy Moderator Staff Member

    More reflection on littlegirly's birth ~2 years ago:
    I read a bunch of books on the Lamaze method and the Bradley method, but I honestly don't know if it made any difference. I interpreted each contraction as an overwhelming force that needed to move through me - not wash over me, not something to fight, but something to work with that was going to happen no matter what. I didn't allow myself to fear. I had the amazing support of my husband (who had gone through 6 weeks of birth coach training with me) who dealt with all the nurses and paperwork and hospital madness, so I could be in my own little world. I ignored all outside influences and let my body just work the way it needed. I asked hubby for ice chips between contractions so I could stay hydrated. I sang a certain song over and over during contractions to help me time them and predict what was coming. My voice soothed my baby and she was under zero stress the entire labor. Hubby said the nurses were concerned because she showed absolutely no response to the contractions - she was too relaxed in their minds - but she came out fast anyway. It was honestly a calming, soothing, peaceful time. I had a focal point during pushing. It wasn't anything I planned, it was a cross that happened to be on the wall. It helped to block out the other things happening around me to have many things to focus on and keep my mind occupied.
     
  3. Have you observed (in-person) any births other than the ones for your own children? Only my own and I won't say I observed it.

    Do you feel your birthing experience was overall positive? It was a planned c-section. Not really what I was planning on when I first learned I was preggers, but it was very positive. The medical personnel were great and super funny. We had a lot of fun. Even the gas anesthesiologist was funny. He told me he looked up the procedure on youtube the night before. LOVED the surgical nurse! I saw her a few months after baby girl was born and I walked up t her and started to say, "I know you see a lot of parents every day, but.." She cut me off to say she definitely remembered us. Probably because DaddySquirrel is so weird. ;-)

    Do you think your experience changed your outlook on parenting or impacted your relationship with your child's father? I don't think I really had an outlook on parenting. I never really felt pregnant the entire time even though I felt the baby moving around all the time. It was so real the moment I heard her cry. I looked over and DS was crying too saying she was so beautiful and that my insides were so gross. I was so in love with him at that moment and knew he'd be a great dad.

    Do you plan to do things differently should you go through another birth? If we have another one...I'll try for a natural birth because nowadays you can have a natural birth after a c-section when you really couldn't before. I'm still not opposed to adoption.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  4. genuinemommy

    genuinemommy Moderator Staff Member

    Thank you for responding, ZS!
    I am glad tour c-section experience was so positive. Sounds like your hunk of a man was an excellent support as well. Who couldn't fall in love with Babysquirrel at first sight?
     
  5. I was laughing with the anesthesiologist and then I heard her crying. I started crying because all I wanted to do was hold her. I couldn't see her because of the partition they hold up so I wouldn't be forced to see my insides. That's the only part I didn't like. I didn't get to see her first. I had her inside of m for 40 weeks and everybody in the room got to see her before me. :-(
     
  6. genuinemommy

    genuinemommy Moderator Staff Member

    I felt the same way with my vaginal birth! When my girl was crowning, Tt said "She's beautiful" and was talking about her hair... In the meantime I was working on getting her out. Ugh. I adored when they brought her to me. I'm tempted to catch this one myself. We'll see how labor goes and if I am up for that.
     
  7. Chris Noyb

    Chris Noyb Get in, buckle up, hang on, & be quiet.

    Location:
    Large City, TX
    Is it OK for guys to respond :confused:?

    I've never witnessed a human birth. I'm not easily grossed out, and I consider pregnancy and birth to be a biological wonder. BTW I avoid the word "miracle" because I consider P&B to be purely biological.

    My wife used to say, "If I get pregnant, you're going to be in the delivery room with me." "Yes, if you insist." "What do you mean if I insist?" "I've never had any urge to see a baby being born." "You wouldn't want to see our baby being born?" "I didn't say that. Of course I'd want to be with you, I'm just not sure about witnessing the actual birth." "That doesn't make me feel better. And you wouldn't be watching the actual birth." "I'm just being honest. There are probably quite a few guys who feel the same way, but don't dare admit it."
     
    • Like Like x 1
  8. girldetective

    girldetective Getting Tilted

    Have you observed (in-person) any births other than the ones for your own children?
    I once observed a csection where I was surprised at the ghostly appearance of the babe. I was not prepared for the protective vernix to still be intact. It jut never occurred to me until that very moment, when I did a double take.
    Do you feel your birthing experience was overall positive?
    How could it not be, what with all those hormones raging and serious commando breasts that sprayed milk!
    Do you think your experience changed your outlook on parenting or impacted your relationship with your child's father?
    Without a doubt it cemented the pact, with rebar reinforcment.
    Do you plan to do things differently should you go through another birth?
    If I were miraculously pregnant I would plan a quiet/silent birth with very low light to help ease the babes welcome.

    Best wishes and all happiness, genuinemommy! Im excited for you!
     
    Last edited: May 7, 2015
    • Like Like x 1
  9. PonyPotato

    PonyPotato Very Tilted

    Location:
    Columbus, OH
    I was with my sister for the birth of my first nephew. It was surprisingly quick, and he was surprisingly greasy and chubby. Her fiance asked me to leave for the birth of the second nephew recently, which made me a bit sad - I've had a bit of trouble connecting with the new little guy, having not been present and connected for his welcome to the world.

    I have not given birth myself and am unsure if I will be able to. I hope I'll get the opportunity someday.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  10. If I did have her vaginally, I was offered the option of having a mirror down there so I could watch....I passed. However, knowing what i know now, I may request it if I squeeze out another kid.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  11. genuinemommy

    genuinemommy Moderator Staff Member

    Tinygirly is here, gave birth on the 2nd
    Following up with a few reflections on this birth. The first bit I wrote during early labor, roughly 2 hours before she was born. The rest was written today.

    With my older girl I sang through the contractions to help me time them and know when they would end. It was very helpful for me. For the longest time I have puzzled over if I would use the same song or something else. Well, today I found something really special. My mother in law is visiting town. We were sitting around the table enjoying a snack when my daughter commented that there was a blue sky. I smiled and started singing "Blue Skies". Grandma joined in. Girly wanted me to sing it again, so I did. And Girly "sang" along! We sang it a few times together. It was such a special moment in a beautiful day. Then tonight I started having some powerful contractions. I was feeling really sad, thinking about the labor for my most recent loss. It was really getting me down and making things harder for me. I asked my husband to remind me of something cheery. He started talking about our Girly and I told him about "Blue Skies". When the next contraction began, I started singing the song: "Blue skies, smilin' at me, nothing but blue skies do I see. Bue birds singin' a song. Nothing but blue birds all day long. Never saw the sun shining so bright. Never saw things going so right. Noticing the days hurrying by, when you're in love my how they fly. Blue days all of them gone nothing but blue skies from now on. Nothing but blue skies from now on."

    As I sang the word "Gone", my contraction ended, and I was able to finish out the song with a big smile. It brought me such peace. I found my birth song.

    I sang through every rough contraction, straight through pushing. I had no clue I was as far along as I was when Tt convinced me to hop in the car and go to the hospital. When we checked in, we were taken fairly quickly to triage and the nurse who checked me was shocked. She told me I was dilated to 9.5, and rushed the typical processing. When I heard 9.5, I started laughing. Even as I laughed, another nurse saw on the monitor that I was contracting, hard, and was entirely confused ad to how I could physically laugh during a contraction.

    Tt massaged my back and was otherwise entirely present to lend his unending support, and relayed my wishes to the nursing staff. We turned heads. This hospital has a 99% epidural rate, and I was certainly an outlier among those who chose to go natural. My voice gained a huge number of compliments. Hubby was asked if I sing professionally.

    The nursing staff was definitely taken aback by my birthing experience. They had never seen someone walk, sing, and laugh their way through the contractions of the transition stage. They didn't quite get why I preferred to give birth naked than in a gown. They had never seen a woman grab their baby to guide them into the world as they pushed.

    It was a learning experience for the hospital staff here. A few of the nurses approached us afterward and told us we were an inspiration to them. One especially young, new nurse said, "I want to be just like you when I grow up." Pretty rewarding birth.
     
    Last edited: Jun 4, 2015
    • Like Like x 9
  12. Lindy

    Lindy Moderator Staff Member

    Location:
    Nebraska
    Congratulations, @genuinemommy! Twice over!
     
    • Like Like x 1
  13. redravin

    redravin Cynical Optimist Donor

    Location:
    North
    [​IMG]
     
    • Like Like x 1
  14. Chris Noyb

    Chris Noyb Get in, buckle up, hang on, & be quiet.

    Location:
    Large City, TX
    Congratulations, genuinemommy & family (even though you did all the hard work ;) :p)!
     
    • Like Like x 1
  15. WOOHOO!!!! More TFP Babies!!!!
     
    • Like Like x 1
  16. girldetective

    girldetective Getting Tilted

    Lucky you! Lucky her!
     
    • Like Like x 1
  17. healer

    healer Extra Medium

    Location:
    South Africa
    Babies! Congrats, you're an absolute rockstar for doing it the way you did.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  18. ralphie250

    ralphie250 Fully Erect Donor

    Location:
    At work..
    Congrats, y'all are lucky