Food Hilariously bad restaurant experiences

Share your hilariously bad restaurant experiences.

The other week, Tt and I decided to try out this restaurant. It had stellar reviews. It was in a trendy outdoor mall, and it had a pleasant ambiance.

When we asked to sit at the bar, the hostess looked at us confused, but then pointed us toward the bar. We sat down at the only two empty bar stools and Tt chatted with the guy beside him, turns out he was there with his daughter. They carried on a friendly but nonsensical conversation about a supposedly obscure university that we know well. These two only were there for a few minutes before they left. But they were nice, and dressed something like us, equally out of place in a room full of designer clothing. We ordered an appetizer from their short little menu of bar specials, and they had no beer so Tt ordered a suggested wine. Their menu did list an array of ingredients for each item, but apparently that list was inaccurate. The spinach artichoke dip contained both bacon and peanuts. One of which is revolting to me, the other an allergy. When I remarked at the unusual flavor, the bartender informed us of the ingredients, then offered to bring out some queso dip instead. When it arrived, the food runner announced it as "crab queso". Nowhere on the menu was there mention of crab. I asked for clarification, assuming I misheard. He confirmed that there is crab. At which point I burst out laughing and asked them to please take it back. Then the bartender disappeared unexpectedly. We were sitting there in awkward silence as Tt finished his wine and I looked over the menu again, wondering what would be safe to eat. We asked for our check from some random server walking by. There were 3 others who asked her for their bill from her at that time as well. This was the first time ever that I didn't feel any inclination to leave a tip at a restaurant.

We walked out and found our way to a dive bar, where I ordered a crisp side salad, Tom got his fill on cheap beer, and we watched the Democratic National Convention. We smiled as we saw the father-daughter couple from the other restaurant sit down a few seats away.

 

Does a fast food experience count?

This was 10ish years ago. The local Burger King was never that well run, but was often painfully convenient. One day I went through the drive thru. I ordered a chicken sandwich (was some special sandwich they temporarily had, crispy chicken of some sort) and a large cup of water. She repeated the order back, and I specifically listened for the 'large' descriptor of my water, and she said it. I say I specifically listened for it because many places wouldn't repeat it back, would give you a small water, and it wasn't enough water.

Anyway, I pulled up to the window and the young woman working the window said my total was $3.xx, so I gave her 4 $1 bills. Then she hands me out a small (this was back when small was actually small, not today's 16oz+ smalls) water. I reminded her I ordered a large. She then says that they only give small waters for free. I ask her why she repeated back to me the 'large' portion. She said she repeats whatever size the customer orders, but only gives a small no matter what.

All of that conversation took place without pause, with me still holding the small water in my hand and her still holding the $4. We were both calm and matter of fact in our tones, though I'd argue she was being a bit snotty considering she was supposedly serving a customer. Anyway, I then told her that, if they only give small waters, I'd like two of them. She glares at me and says 'they are free, so you only get one!' I told her that was fine, just cancel my order and give me my $4 back. She hands it back out the window and says 'then give me the water back!'

I smiled, took the $4 and said 'no, it was free, remember?' and drove off. Never spent another dime there since.

 

We went to a place on our recent vacation that wasn't great. I picked it because of the good reviews on Yelp, and it left me wondering why it garnered such good reviews. Maybe I caught them on an off day.

We walked in and were seated by what turned out to be the bus boy. He had to prep the table before we could sit down, and then he flagged us over to the table instead of coming back to get us. We waited quite a while for a server (there was only one, apparently) to show up and take our order. No one asked if we wanted drinks. I ordered a shrimp Caesar, and my husband ordered a grilled cheese panini with tomato soup. While crummy service is sometimes par for the course, my husband's meal is where it took a real turn for the worse. The "panini" was a squashed, grilled hamburger bun with cheese along with a cup of chunky spaghetti sauce. It was wholly unappetizing, with some giant croutons and blobs of some kind of white cheese on top of the "soup," which was apparently ketchup-y sweet. Then, it took forever to get our check, so we just got up and paid up front, as we were tired of waiting.

My salad was good, though...

 

We just had one. A new breakfast place opened up in town recently and I told Magpie I'd take her to brunch today. She had to work at 2 but we got there at 12:30 so I thought we had plenty of time. I didn't count on it taking an hour for the food to get out to us. We ended up packing most of it to go. Would not recommend.

I'm still scratching my head over that one. How does it take an hour to make bacon and eggs? And the bacon was overcooked, too. Next time I'll just stay home and make it myself, I guess.