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How do you feel about hugs?

Discussion in 'Tilted Life and Sexuality' started by RangerJoe, Aug 2, 2011.

  1. RangerJoe

    RangerJoe Slightly Tilted


    I hate hugs. It makes me extremely uncomfortable, but my fiance's family loves it. I can't leave a family function without one of them going, "Come here and give me a hug! You're family now!" I just grit my teeth and go with it.
    I have a bubble. I like my bubble. I don't like you in my bubble. Is it really that important to make someone feel even more uncomfortable than they already were? Argh.
    What about you? Are you a hugging person? If so, how do you deal with those of us that don't like to hug? Do you force it anyways?
    If not, how do you handle those awkward hugging situations?


     
  2. Cernunnos

    Cernunnos Vertical

    Location:
    Orlando, FL
    I don't typically initiate hugs, but if someone is stepping in for one, I will accommodate the gesture by returning it. This is done to avoid awkwardness for us both, as attempting to hug someone who recoils or stands there like a stump is extremely unpleasant, and doing so calls into question the level of familiarity that should be assumed; failing to accept the hug is unfortunately seen as a signal of rejection.

    Nods are my preferred alternative with strangers or casual acquaintances, handshakes for congratulatory purposes and formal situations, and waves if at a distance that would require shouting a farewell or hello.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  3. Plan9

    Plan9 Rock 'n Roll

    Location:
    Earth
    I'm totally cool with hugs. It's just greetin' wrasslin', s'all.

    According to my Cro-Mag upbringing, hugs are okay if:

    1. ...they're actual family, because you're close. I hug my father, for example, because I rarely get to see him and he's close to going in a box.
    2. ...they're men you would hide a body for, because it's that greetin' wrasslin'. Such abusive hugs are almost always initiated with a "Hey, motherfucker!"
    3. ...they're a significant other / fuckbuddy, because you can get in a nice boob grab / ass squeeze.
    4. ...they're owned women (married, dating), because they're in the cool club with some dude from #2.
    5. ...they're little kids (the few I can tolerate), because little kids are like monkeys and monkeys are cool.

    Hugs that aren't cool?

    1. ...hugs from random Europeans.
    2. ...hugs from really drunk people when you're stone sober.
    3. ...hugs from other people's grandparents you've never met.
    4. ...hugs from children that just loaded their diaper.
    5. ...hugs from your girlfriend that just announced her infidelity.

    So, yeah, there are conditions. But generally good. I see people that don't like hugs as weirdos that need therapy. The human body is wired to touch. The whole baby/mother soothing thing, the whole not-exactly-Top Gun male bonding thing, the whole my-life-is-shit-just-hold-me thing.
     
    • Like Like x 2
  4. MeltedMetalGlob

    MeltedMetalGlob Resident Loser Donor

    Location:
    Who cares, really?
    The only people I get hugs from are family, so I guess I'm okay with it.

    *whimpers softly, goes off to sulk somewhere*

    ;)
     
  5. CoffeeBee

    CoffeeBee Slightly Tilted

    Hugs are good from those that you are close to. I *love* to hug my kids. Sometimes I just grab them and give them a hug. Sometimes my daughter can tell when I need one, and she grabs me for a hug. I don't like to hug people I don't know too well, it feels awkward.
     
  6. Xazy Vertical

    I am not in to hugging anyone who is not very close to me. For example a close friend or family member, or just a really hot girl.

    However that said when you are feeling down, a good hug just seems to help.
     
  7. I'm a hugger. I know other people aren't, and I do my best to contain myself until I discover if they're huggers or not. I don't limit hugs to close friends and family; if a new acquaintance is a hugger as well (I let them zoom in) I'm totally down for a random hug. I like real hugs too...not pansy-ass, one armed, pathetically weak squeezes, unless it's my grandma. She doesn't have a lot of strength. If you're going to hug me, I prefer not be able to breathe for a second.
     
  8. Baraka_Guru

    Baraka_Guru Möderätor Staff Member

    Location:
    Toronto
    I secretly love hugs but can be awkward about initiating or receiving them. I think this is all because I wasn't hugged enough as a child.

    I'll hug just about anybody.

    Who wants a hug?
     
  9. genuinemommy

    genuinemommy Moderator Staff Member

    I'm a hug monster. Typical greetings for me involve hugs. Well... come to think of it, in recent years, I have limited my hugging to long-time friends and family. I am less inclined to hug new friends unless I can tell they are feeling especially down, in which case I ask them if they could use a hug. I do appreciate it though when someone changes a handshake into a hug. I am tempted to do this myself, but I always feel a bit awkward, and I wonder about it appearing unprofessional.
     
    • Like Like x 2
  10. jewels

    jewels New Member

    I'm an addict. There are so many types of hugs, but as an expression of love and caring, it's tough to beat the hug.

    I tend to think the hug was designed to prevent accidental squishing to death.
     
    • Like Like x 2
  11. genuinemommy

    genuinemommy Moderator Staff Member

    I'll never forget one hug - I hugged a friend from school. He is an international student from Sri Lanka. He commented, "You realize that if we were to do this in my country, I would be shot." I laughed and gave him another hug.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  12. Plan9

    Plan9 Rock 'n Roll

    Location:
    Earth
     
  13. Tully Mars

    Tully Mars Very Tilted

    Location:
    Yucatan, Mexico
    I'm normally an I like "my space" kinda guy. Might be from years of working in a hostile environment daily. Or who knows maybe my mommy didn't hug me enough as a baby, who knows. But slowly I'm getting more and more comfortable with hugging. The culture here in Mexico is to hug just about everyone you meet, this includes same sex. There's different kinds of hugs that are expected too. Male to male is much more distant and often includes a slap on the back. Male to female depends on whether or not one is in a relationship and often whether or not their SO is present. Can range anywhere from the male to male version to a full tight hug with a kiss on cheek to a kiss on the lips. At 3am in the club that kiss might be "french style" and the lady may simply walk away without a word.
     
  14. Liquor Dealer

    Liquor Dealer Vertical

    Location:
    Southwest Kansas
    Maybe I'm a bit homophobic about some things - a hug form my son - or grandsons - I'm fine! Other guys - I like my personal space. Cute women! Bring it on! Ugly ones... a "HI. How ya' doin' " will suffice.
     
  15. snowy

    snowy so kawaii Staff Member

    I love hugs. It's the best part about what I do for a living.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  16. Fremen

    Fremen Allright, who stole my mustache?

    Location:
    E. Texas
    I think I'd probably get arrested if I acted out my secret hug urges.
    Not anything perverted, like for children, but my buddy's girlfriend, my mail lady, the checkout lady at Walmart, the old lady selling popcorn in the atrium at the hospital, the lady that flipped me off for pulling out into the middle turning lane on the highway....

    /I need a hug, or a date
     
    • Like Like x 1
  17. snowy

    snowy so kawaii Staff Member

    I'd hug you, Fremen.
     
  18. Zen

    Zen Very Tilted

    Location:
    London
    I hug/accept hugs and develop the style on a case by case basis, underpinned by "If in doubt, don't". I'm quite good at avoiding ones I don't want, and a quick study at not offering one that somebody else does not want. I'm not so good at giving or identifying 'yes' signs, but have been improving during the last five years. Thank goodness.
     
  19. Fremen

    Fremen Allright, who stole my mustache?

    Location:
    E. Texas
    Thank you. I'd hug you, as well, because you're that good of a person, snowy. :)

    /haters gonna hate
     
    • Like Like x 1
  20. shanifaye

    shanifaye Dominissive

    Location:
    Lilburn, GA
    Im a big hugger, hell I even hug my waffle house waitress :)