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How much of an age difference is too much?

Discussion in 'Tilted Life and Sexuality' started by dodger01, Nov 25, 2011.

  1. dodger01

    dodger01 Getting Tilted

    After a long marriage I have been seeing a few different ladies. All around 50+/-. The lady I have the best time with though is 34, a college professor, fun to be with and lives 3,000 miles away. She is great to be with but I wonder if we were closer would we run out of similar interest?
    Confused....
     
  2. Alistair Eurotrash

    Location:
    Reading, UK
    I think a lot depends on the individuals involved and on what they want out of the relationship.

    That aside, the received wisdom is that you should avoid people younger than half your age plus 7 years. I'm 54, and that would place your 34-year-old at the bottom end of my "scale". I certainly wouldn't want to go any younger unless the circumstances were very unusual.

    Other than that, I think it is the same as in any relationship. What are your needs? What are hers? Are they compatible?
     
  3. dodger01

    dodger01 Getting Tilted

    You "received wisdom" puts her 2 yrs to young. Though I have always considered "lusting" after anyone younger than my daughters to be just wrong. So I'm OK on that point......
     
  4. martian

    martian Server Monkey Staff Member

    Location:
    Mars
    Arbitrary rules about who or who you may or may not have a relationship with are stupid.

    Are you happy? Is she happy? Are you both consenting adults? If you answered no to any of those questions the relationship is not okay. Otherwise, have at it.
     
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  5. dodger01

    dodger01 Getting Tilted

    I figure what makes it work is that we both enjoy backpacking, adventure racing, mtn bike riding, etc. We make a good team.....
     
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  6. Alistair Eurotrash

    Location:
    Reading, UK
    I guess you are 58. How long do you want the relationship to last and how long will you still want to do this stuff? Just something to think about, if that's really what it's about.

    Does she want kids? Do you? Do you know? Is it just some fun for a while? There are lots of unknowns for us.

    Do you just want permission? You got it! Go for it! :)

    Of course, we could give better advice with pics ..
     
  7. streak_56

    streak_56 I'm doing something, going somewhere...

    Location:
    C eh N eh D eh....
    My mom married my step-dad and he's 13 years old, my sister married someone 10 years older and my brother is "dating" someone who's 15 years older.... if it feel right.... do it!
     
  8. Alistair Eurotrash

    Location:
    Reading, UK
    Typo? Please tell me it is!
     
    • Like Like x 1
  9. streak_56

    streak_56 I'm doing something, going somewhere...

    Location:
    C eh N eh D eh....
    naturally, it's older.... unless I'm a sperm just swimming around this white cloud of a world...
     
  10. Speed_Gibson

    Speed_Gibson Hacking the Gibson

    Location:
    Wolf 359
    Along the lines of this thread, I see a plethora of college girls go through the store on nightly basis that are most likely around 19-20ish, and my main thoughts tend fall under one or both of these categories:
    0) That girl is almost young enough to be my daughter if I had been one of those teen fathers
    and
    1) My daughters would never leave the house wearing that or that little if they were to even try and under my roof still.
     
  11. SuburbanZombie

    SuburbanZombie Housebroken

    Location:
    Northeast
    +1
     
  12. Eddie Getting Tilted

    I've found that women younger than 28 are too immature to be long-term relationship material. I think right at about 28 is when they start thinking seriously about marriage, children and that kind of stuff. So if you're looking for a temporary fun, sexual relationship, go young. If you're looking for something serious and long term...don't bother with women under 28. My gf is 24. She's a sweet girl, we have fun together but she's simply too inexperienced to be intellectually engaging. I don't see our relationship lasting for too much longer...maybe through the winter.

    That's my 2 cents.
     
  13. wyopen

    wyopen Getting Tilted

    Location:
    Montana
    As has already been said there are no rules. If you're both consenting adults, enjoy it while it lasts!
     
  14. Derwood

    Derwood Slightly Tilted

    Location:
    Columbus, OH
    [Your Age / 2] + 7 = Youngest you should date
     
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  15. Alistair Eurotrash

    Location:
    Reading, UK
    Enjoy the ride! :)

    (Hope you have her permission .. if not, I think you should take the pic down).
     
  16. Lindy

    Lindy Moderator Staff Member

    Location:
    Nebraska
    One of my cousins was thirty when she married a man 25 years her senior. He was the successful professional man, fit, trim, didn't look (or act) his age. She was the archetypal "trophy wife." Everything was fine until he pretty much lost interest in sex when he was in his mid sixties. Well, Maureen was just hitting her stride sexually and she started going elsewhere. They're still together, but it's no longer much of a marriage.
    I think that early middle age (like 30-40) is perhaps kind of a sweet spot, where age differences don't matter so much. But then we get older, and...
    I'm 35 and my guy is ten years older than me. It seems to be working out well, so far.:)

    Lindy
     
    • Agree Agree x 1
  17. Ruby Ryder

    Ruby Ryder New Member

    Age really is just a number. The definition of "too much of an age difference" will be different for everyone. Age is not important to me as long as he can keep up with me (I backpack 12K ft mountains) and relate with me well enough to have meaningful, intelligent conversation.
     
  18. dodger01

    dodger01 Getting Tilted

    Picture wasn't really her but it's down anyway
     
  19. Tophat665

    Tophat665 Slightly Tilted

    Location:
    NoVA
    Conversely, 2 x (Your Age -7) = The oldest you should date

    Incidentally, Your Age = Youngest = Oldest is at 14, which tells me when my daughter is allowed to date and who.

    / Thank you Barney Stinson!
     
  20. Speed_Gibson

    Speed_Gibson Hacking the Gibson

    Location:
    Wolf 359
    Those give a range of 24-61 for me. That is "diverse" to put it nicely.