Humor me

If I write:

He says he was watching porn.
On his phone.
And used up all his data plan.

do you laugh? Does the flat attitude come across with the periods at the end of each parsing, and is the parsing correct for the humor to flow? There is no point or punchline, but I wonder if the text can stand alone, in hilarity. The content that followed or preambled could of course add or explain the words, but can the words themselves stand alone in hilarity?

 

no

 

I agree. Not funny by itself.

 

Huh. I laughed. But then, I usually assume sarcasm/dry humor when something's parsed like that; probably because I use it so much myself.

 

Thanks for the feedback. This was a line that was actually said and I thought it was very funny just by itself, said in a Stephen Wright kinda deadpan. Ive thought about working it up into a quick 3-5 minute performance art sort of thing about love, using it as either the main theme or the punchline. I wish you coulda heard it said; I was on my knees. The timing and voice were everything, which is hard to write. (I mean, I didnt want to punctuate it with !!!, which I find a little irksome, sometimes.) Anyway, sorry for such a short, selfish post, but I appreciate the feedback. Maybe Ill be more entertaining next time round.