Independent kids

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Does it seem crazy in this paranoid Nancy Grace/Amber Alert world to do this now? When I grew up in a small to medium sized midwestern city, I was always going out to play at the park or ride my bike alone or with friends. But, I have been corrupted by the horror stories in the media, watching too much Law & Order SVU, and the paranoid parents. If I had a kid, they would never leave the house without me. That is sad. Does hearing of every kidnapping story, or every story of some kid getting hit by a car do more harm than good?

When my Mom was growing up in a family of six, or my Dad in a family of four, as long as they were home by dinner, my grandparents didn't care. My Dad broke both of his arms, he survived and had a story to tell. I fell off my bike and hurt myself when I was 8 or 9 and still managed to make it home since cell phones might have just been invented (when were cell phones invented?). I was walking the streets in a foreign country at 10-12 (it was just Toronto), with a friend and I ended up fine (I think).

Does being an only child or just having one other sibling impact things or make parents more paranoid?

 

First thought:

And, no, I wouldn't leave an 8 year old alone at a park. That's like leaving a clumsy dog at the park by itself.

That and who's gonna step in and stop them when they go all Lord of the Flies on whatever kid becomes Piggy?

I had my eyeglasses broken while "playing" with some of my peers at that age. Even young kids are brutal.

...

I can already see this turning into one of those "Well, when I grew it up in the _previous generation_ it wasn't as _whatever_." I hope we avoid that.

I'm not a parent of a screaming poo factory, but I've been in charge of teenagers (like, really in charge; things like meals and personal hygiene) in places where people were trying to kill us in new and horrible ways. You quickly learn that shit happens and you need a plan on how to deal with it in a timely fashion. Maybe good parenting consists of freedom with a mishap plan. Basic stuff: Have you talked to your spouse and kid about what to do if something happens? Are their many backup plans? Do you even know where you kid is? Do you actually know their friends? Their friends parents?

Don't think the world is any more violent than it used to be. Do think that the neighborhood has turned into a bunch of strangers averting eye contact.

Nobody wants to get involved. Let the police fix whatever after things go south. Is this new? Maybe it's always been this way in the middle class world.

/girl with shaved head in diaper

 

I was a teenager before I went to Detroit without my parents. It was with a bunch of kids from school. We probably grew up during the same decade, but I was riding my bike to my friends house or to the park when I was 8. I was going the half mile to school through the neighborhood by myself when I was 6 (in 1st grade).

I never had a Lord of the Flies experience. There wasn't any bullying going on. Probably because all of the fathers were still in the lives of the kids, and our parents all knew each other. And just like in The Christmas Story movie, there would be hell to pay at home if you did something bad.

I don't know, I look back and wonder "what were my parents thinking letting me be a free range kid?", but at the same time that they did everything right.

 

I don't think my situation applies as I didn't grow up in a major or small city. I grew up on an acreage till I was 14, and I think what kept us out of trouble was the fact that it would take us 1/4 of a day to walk to a friends house, thats cutting through fields, so the only trouble we would get into is climbing trees too high and not doing chores. Or being general smart asses.... which due to our remoteness, became a norm.

 

My daughter is just going on 10 and I send her to the store by herself all the time.

When my son was a similar age, I would have him take public transit to come and meet me after work.

The world is not any worse now than when I was growing up. The only difference is we hear more about the bad stuff than we used to.

 

This is sooooo true. My eldest is almost 8. He is most certainly not going to the park on his own. I reckon by age 10 they are probably responsible enough to go places on there own.

I'm not sure I agree with Plan9 that people are avoiding eye contact. Once you have children (especially school age), you suddenly start to know lots more people where you live. It is quite common for children that aren't ours to come over after school and for ours to go to other people's houses. Sometimes my wife goes, but not always. Our children haven't died yet.

 

In my old neighbourhood in Toronto, we experienced the same sort of community. You get to know your neighbours. Your kids make friends all over the neighbourhood and you end up getting to know their parents.

That sort of thing is not as common here. Kids go to school all over the island (i.e. there aren't school districts). Most of my kids' friends do not live anywhere near us. After school playdates are a palaver.