Life Bombs

I was cock-blocked by a kitten. Again. This time was memorable, which led to this particular thread idea.

We all have moments where we experience the real life version of a photo bomb. You know, the interruption that changes the course of an encounter or an evening or even a lifetime. Like photo bombs they can range from mildly amusing through hysterically hilarious to being the essense of catastrophe.

My kitten story:
Yesterday was New Years Day. Just us two home alone. My Lady and I quietly lounging about the bedroom, drinking coffee and snuggling, chit-chat and browsing teh webz on our phones. Music plays in the background. The gas fireplace is keeping the winter at bay. Mid morning light fills the room. Eventually (being past the midpoint of my 6th decade it usually takes "eventually") I engage my better half in coitus. Yowzers! Good times I'm propped up on my arms and we are totally in synch. Gazing into each others eyes. Love and warmth and hot hot good stuff is the vibe. Suddenly a purring, half-grown ginger short-hair walks between our heads. Filling the confined space between us he is stepping directly on my Lady's face while simultaneously head butting my nose. With awful, beautifully perfect timing, whilst the wee beastie strops my staring eyes with its uplifted tail, the fuzz buckets' raised brown pucker inches from my own baby blues releases a terrible gust of toxic gas. Young George (George being the kitten) has a penchant for food that outstrips his still-developing gastrointestinal capacity. He farts. Constantly. Horribly. And in this case, fatally when it came to my fragile aging libido. I flung myself to the side as my Lady and I made loud protestations of disgust. My Gallant Salute became a limp biscuit. It took a while to regain momentum, I tell you.

Another Life Bomb from my youth. I was at an introductory dance for the residence at my university. There was this breathtaking little brunette I managed to engage in real conversation. She was the sort of girl that actually made your chest hurt she was so damned perfect. I mean, perfect. She leaves the chair beside me so she can fetch her drink. A lumpen woman with abrasive personality and coarse, dull features immediately plops into the chair, tugging her empty wooden stick of a husband with her. They've decided I'm to be regaled with the mundanities of their existence as poor, friendless science majors living in an arts community. I managed to interrupt long enough to say the pretty lady hovering at her elbow wanted her chair back. The reply? There were plenty of seats around, the young lady could sit elsewhere. By the time I extricated myself from this awful couple the young lady had been engaged by a small troupe of eager lads. She ended up with one of them, I believe.

I live a circumscribed existence wherein the majority of my interactions involve either my pets or the immediate people I live with. I do hope to be entertained by stories (TFPers /friends /relatives /acquaintances) about unexpected injections of entropy wreaking both havoc and hilarity.

Here is a pic of Toxic George - probably exhausted from exhausting, if you know what I mean . . .

 

It looks dead. As it would be if something like that happened to me.

 

hilarious story (the first one) ........ when I was in college, I was in my dorm getting it on with a guy I had been seeing here and there the past few months, (I really liked him alot and wanted to get more serious but he seemed to just want a casual thing,) meanwhile the other guy I was sleeping with at the time, starts knocking on my door and calling my name, I wasnt answering him, was waiting and hoping for him to leave, my tv was on so I guess he figured I was there and should answer for some reason, eventually casual guy went in the bathroom and I answered the door and said I was napping because i wasnt feeling well and then he finally f-ed off, anyway so after that the casual dude and I stopped hanging out and to this day I always (partially) blame that moment. We are still in contact many years later and I have brought it up but he hasnt said anything about it. anyway, yeah, some moments you wonder what coulda woulda shoulda.

 

Well - if cats and cocks will qualify -
My ex went to the bathroom one morning for a pee - and the ginger (is it in the colouring) cat jumped up and slashed his dick. Made me laugh I can tell you - reality having replaced love by then.