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Money and your relationship with it.

Discussion in 'Tilted Life and Sexuality' started by cynthetiq, Sep 17, 2016.

  1. cynthetiq

    cynthetiq Administrator Staff Member Donor

    Location:
    New York City
    How do you view money? What does it represent to you? How do you feel about it? Are you comfortable with it? Does discussing it make you feel uncomfortable? How comfortable or uncomfortable?

    From my blog entry:

     
    • Like Like x 2
  2. genuinemommy

    genuinemommy Moderator Staff Member

    I always have enough to meet our basic needs.
    I rarely feel like I have enough to justify special purchases or vacations.
    I'd rather save than spend. Though I have dropped huge sums regularly for education, with the expectation that it will eventually pay off.
    Childcare is more expensive than our mortgage. Considering that our children are more important to us than our home, this seems fitting.
     
  3. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    I came from nothing...so I'm money aware always.
    But I'm generous and like to have fun...so I'm not tight at the same time.
    I've worked my ass off to get where I am...and still working for more, but I don't live it anymore. I want to enjoy life.

    Quality is good, but I don't need brand names.
    I'd rather do things than have.

    Money gives you options.
    Not happiness, but options.

    I'm not shy about talking about it.
    And anyone wants to judge me on it, fuck'em.
    People worry about image and pride too much.
    Life is too short. Seriously, fuck'em.

    I just want to keep the govt off my back, pay the bills and food. (always food....that's what I spend the most on, other than car & rent)
    The rest is negotiable.

    My attitude is, be real, I respect that...I've been there, probably will again. Shit happens. It is the way it is. C'est la vie.
    All it is to me is something to factor when planning on doing things.
    I never judge.
    I only judge others on how they treat others.
    Again, it's all negotiable.
     
    • Like Like x 2
  4. Fangirl

    Fangirl Very Tilted

    Location:
    Arizona
    I'm glad you started this thread! And you used the exact word that got me thinking that you should start this thread:"relationship."
    "Complicated" is the one-word descriptor for my relationship with money as money is a loaded word with so many connotations. At any particular time of my life money could have meant different things. I certainly don't covet it, I'm not materialistic, but I say that from the comfy standpoint of the middle class, something I was born into, slipped from and have slipped back into.

    I'm very generous with money when I have it. I'd rather take care of people I care about than myself because it's makes me feel good to help out. I don't need a lot, but I like to have fun so paying for life experiences is so worth it. I'm basically a no frills girl, things do not have to be pricey to catch my eye and I love a real bargain. I sort of consider myself a real bargain. Ha!

    I'm totally comfortable talking about money though strangely, the one and only period where I was flush--last year--when the Mr. alluded to his lucrative contracting job to an airplane seatmate I'd struck up a conversation with, I got very embarrassed. I suppose I'm more comfortable commiserating about not "having enough" because that is a more familiar feeling?
     
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  5. POPEYE

    POPEYE Very Tilted

    Location:
    Tulsa
    My money is precious to me. I live paycheck to paycheck. Even this last trip to SC put me in the hole and I am digging my way out
     
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  6. Baraka_Guru

    Baraka_Guru Möderätor Staff Member

    Location:
    Toronto
    I'm comfortable with it. I just don't make enough of it.

    To give you an idea: If I consistently made between $40,000 and $50,000 a year, I'd feel like I was living like a king.

    My needs are basic; my wants are modest.
     
    Last edited: Sep 18, 2016
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  7. cynthetiq

    cynthetiq Administrator Staff Member Donor

    Location:
    New York City
    @Skogafoss just found some old US savings bonds from 1974. They are fully matured since 2004.

    It's a good amount of money. Now to wait to cash them in when our tax basis is low.

    @popeye why do you live paycheck to paycheck? I'm not judging just curious.
     
  8. POPEYE

    POPEYE Very Tilted

    Location:
    Tulsa
    I don't mind, truly I make financial errors. My life seems to do well and then in as little as a year there's a down turn. And it's because of my decisions. I look at the projected income and say to myself " now I can buy this or that " I have paid off my credit cards and then they'll raise my limit and so I sink myself. And / or I have extra cash and spend it on myself and my Loved ones.It's so easy to do. Being raised in poverty I would think that I can do better saving money, but I just love to spend it or give it away to people that need it. ...as if I don't. ..Thanks for the reality check Dude
     
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  9. cynthetiq

    cynthetiq Administrator Staff Member Donor

    Location:
    New York City
    That totally makes sense. Most people live that way from what I understand. I can't. I tried. It just doesn't happen. Even when I played monopoly as a kid I just couldn't spend it all. I usually hid some of the money under the board or behind my back.

    This even happened as an adult. When computer banking came into play. I sent a check to myself every week for $50. After six months I had $2,200 saved up posted on my refigerator as uncashed checks. It just kept rolling over. Eventually I changed it to $100 and sent it to my sister. Gave it all to her as a wedding present when she got married like 2 years later.

    My wife was in poverty as a kid. She's terrified of us not having enough money. She saves a lot. We live an interesting lifestyle but we really don't spend a lot of money to do it. Our trips and adventures are usually something that spawns from something free or mileage award driven.

    We both are stingy when it comes to spending money that it takes a lot of effort to get something for ourselves when we actually have to spend dollars. I can't even begin to explain the difficulty of being able to buy my first ipod, iphone, and ipad. It was ridiculous how long and painful it was for me to spend that money. At the time we could afford it, but I just didn't want to spend the money.
     
    Last edited: Sep 18, 2016
    • Like Like x 1
  10. POPEYE

    POPEYE Very Tilted

    Location:
    Tulsa
    Mind saying also that my mortgage and car payment alone are 50 % of my bring home pay. Let me ask this, Does anyone believe that the stock market will crash or will it hold in the next 10 yrs?
     
  11. cynthetiq

    cynthetiq Administrator Staff Member Donor

    Location:
    New York City
    The stock market has a correction coming. Especially in some sectors. But it trends upwards over 10 years
     
  12. Lindy

    Lindy Moderator Staff Member

    Location:
    Nebraska
    Probably neither. It will most likely have it ups and downs like it always has had in the past. It has recovered and then some since the 2008 walloping. But if there would be a dramatic downturn, you would want that to happen sooner rather than later.
     
  13. Baraka_Guru

    Baraka_Guru Möderätor Staff Member

    Location:
    Toronto
    Yeah, if you're looking at an investment timeline of ten years or more (some have twenty years or more), the year-to-year fluctuations won't matter much.
     
  14. Stan

    Stan Resident Dumbass

    Location:
    Colorado
    My wife and I have a lower middle class upbringing and lower middle class expectations. Our income surpasses that; but we generally live below our means. I like my toys and a trip to Europe wasn't cheap; but I pay cash for everything.

    My relationship with money is pretty casual and my monthly expenses are pretty low. I help out my daughters when I can, that would be a lot, lately.


    In my opinion, the stock market isn't for you. That's simply too close to the edge to risk money that you may need for emergencies. If you choose to do it anyway, I'd go with an index fund of some sort. You won't have the capital to do the research or diversify like Cynthetiq or Lindy
     
    • Like Like x 3
  15. Baraka_Guru

    Baraka_Guru Möderätor Staff Member

    Location:
    Toronto
    Regardless, most (retail) investors are better off investing in mutual funds (especially index funds) instead of specific stocks. Picking stocks is for those who like risk and can afford it.
     
  16. POPEYE

    POPEYE Very Tilted

    Location:
    Tulsa
    I just worry that my 401k will take a hit before I retire and can move it
     
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  17. Lindy

    Lindy Moderator Staff Member

    Location:
    Nebraska
    If you took money out now you would take a big hit from the IRS, with both a penalty and taxes due on any withdrawal. Unless you are over 59 and 1/2. Then you can withdraw with no penalty, but still have to pay income tax.
     
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  18. POPEYE

    POPEYE Very Tilted

    Location:
    Tulsa
    I have paid off all my credit cards this week. Debt is so burdensome to me. My tax return and all the OT made it possible. My mortgage and car is all that's left. I have enough equity that if I sell my house I could buy an apartment for cash. Then really put some serious cash in the bank monthly. This is on my mind. Maybe by the end of next year. Maybe not.
     
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  19. cynthetiq

    cynthetiq Administrator Staff Member Donor

    Location:
    New York City
    That's great.

    So long as there is a tax benefit to having a mortgage, keep paying it down but don't pay it off completely.

    Pay off your car as soon as you can.
     
    • Like Like x 3
  20. POPEYE

    POPEYE Very Tilted

    Location:
    Tulsa
    Yeah, @cynthetiq there is no tax benefit. There once was. Last year and the year before they told me it was better not to itemize. Ownership is important to me.