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One of my neighbors died Thurday or yesterday

Discussion in 'Tilted Life and Sexuality' started by Chris Noyb, Sep 26, 2015.

  1. Chris Noyb

    Chris Noyb Get in, buckle up, hang on, & be quiet.

    Location:
    Large City, TX
    One of our neigbors, I'll call him Joe, died in his home either yesterday or Thursday. His body was found by his sister, and two next door neighbors to him around 11:00PM Friday night.

    This hits close to home--other than the obvious--because Joe was only about 2.5 months younger than me.

    The timeline, as best as we know it:

    Joe went to work on Thursday, apparently he seemed fine at work, and returned home at his usual time. On Friday morning he didn't show up at a job site, that had already been organized to start work on Friday. A contractor at the site called his employers office. Joe's employer hadn't heard from him, and couldn't reach him on cell phone. Someone there called Joe's sister, who live a 3.5 hour drive away, as the emergency contact.

    She in turn then called the next door neighbor asking if he'd seen Joe, and she called the police wanting them to check on him. She started driving to Houston, continuing to FU with the police. After arriving at 10:30PM Friday night, and getting nowhere with the police, she and the neighbors decided to enter Joe's house at around 11:00PM. They found him dead in the bathroom.

    At one point on Friday afternoon, maybe around 4PM, a young man rang our doorbell. He was actually looking for the other neighbors and I pointed out their house. What I didn't know at the time, because he didn't tell me, was he was from Joe's employer and was trying to find our if Joe was OK. Around 6PM on Fri the other neighbor stopped me as I was driving down the street, and asked if I'd seen Joe. After I took care of a couple of things I went over to his house to speak with him. That was when what had happened so far was explained to me.

    From what was described to us, it is most likely that after Joe came home Thursday he got undressed to either take a nap, or a shower. He apparently passed away while vomiting blood into the toilet. It'll be Monday or Tuesday before his sister receives the official time & cause of death.

    He never told anyone, except his sister (and told her very little), that a spot had been found on his lung. He refused to have biopsy done. There was another health issue that Joe alluded to, but he never provided any details. Joe never shared any of this with us, but that's not surprising.

    I'm still numb. Hopefully making this verbose post will help with that. In the last 13 months we been through four deaths: My wife's father, then her mother, very recently her best friend (in fact we were at her funeral while the sister & neighbors were trying to check on Joe), and now our neighbor Joe.

    I'll post more details about Joe and our friendship with him either as a blog entry, or in a more private sub-forum.

    Edit: I'm not going to bother correcting a couple of typos. My wife reminded me that someone else she knew fairly well (I didn't) passed away in the last year.
     
    Last edited: Sep 26, 2015
  2. POPEYE

    POPEYE Very Tilted

    Location:
    Tulsa
    @Chris Noyb this person was not an influence, why do you care? I personally would be sad, and empathize, but not really give a Damn.
     
  3. Japchae

    Japchae Very Tilted

    Sometimes others resonate with us, even if they are not an "influence," Popeye.

    I can't imagine the experience, Chris. We thought my downstairs neighbor had died, once. The power had been shut off due to nonpayment and apparently the smell was $200 of Costco steaks going bad after four days. The firemen broke down the door. Worst part was finding out his dog and cat had been in there with no food and only toilet water the whole time. Turned out he'd been on a coke binge somewhere else, but we all knew he'd had a stroke about 4 months prior. I'm always worried when I don't see certain neighbors for awhile. So sorry for all of your recent losses.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  4. Chris Noyb

    Chris Noyb Get in, buckle up, hang on, & be quiet.

    Location:
    Large City, TX


    He was sometimes a good friend, and at other times a PITA. I did make the other post that I mentioned.
     
  5. redravin

    redravin Cynical Optimist Donor

    Location:
    North
    There are those people in your life who are what you might call a mixed bag.
    And when they die you feel the exact definition of the word ambivalent.
    I had a friend who I knew since I was fourteen, smart, funny, and well read, also paranoid, severely screwed up, and a raging alcoholic.
    He was one of the few people who could keep up with me when I got on a roll.
    He also became my ex's boyfriend before we got divorced (or even separated for that matter).
    So yeah, I cared a lot for the guy and was really sorry he died of liver cancer but ...

    So I understand exactly how Chris is feeling.
    I'm sorry for your loss.
    In a way I wish you'd had just a moment to be on the right side of the relationship before he'd died because I'm sure you'd feel better.
    But I suspect that would have been fleeting, so cherish the good times.
    People like your friend offer amazing moments even if the other times aren't so great.
     
    • Like Like x 2