QOTD #24: How long have you known your sexuality?

I didn't know there was an alternative to heterosexuality until I was in High School. It just never occurred to me. There was nothing to accept or change, guys just don't do anything for me (and I couldn't care less whom anyone else sleeps with).

The concept of talking about sex with a nun is a stretch for me. My catechism experience is right out of the Blues Brothers ... penguins with rulers.

 

Age eight, I think. I had a major crush on one of the assistant counselors back in grade school.

Lifestyle changes? No.

 

Side note before I dive into this: I've always been sort of fascinated by nuns. There's a small part of me that believes, had I been raised Catholic, I might have become one. This seems laughable when I think about how I live now, but back when I was 15, 16? Definitely. Monastic living does still have some appeal to me, strangely enough.



Anyway, so, this question is a bit complicated for me, because I'm not sure I've ever really figured it out, either. While there was some very tame experimentation with my kindergarten best friend (mostly role-play type games where one of us was always "the boy," and physical contact was alluded to rather than practiced), I pretty much always just assumed I was totally hetero.

Freshman year of high school, I had a very intense crush on a girl in the class ahead of me; but I didn't realize at the time it was a crush...I just thought she was really cool, and I wanted so badly to earn her approval and acceptance. It didn't occur to me until a few years later that, had she been a boy, I would've tried to initiate something romantic.

The event that made me re-evaluate that particular relationship? I fell hard for a stranger...a female stranger...and the feeling was so extreme, there was absolutely no denying that it was a romantic/sexual attraction. And it threw me for a loop. I tentatively started to examine those feelings, but to be honest, they terrified me, and I shut them down pretty quickly (aside from daydreaming about that particular lady quite a bit.)

I've only ever been in relationships with men. I've only ever been sexually intimate with men. There are women I've been attracted to, but I've never really acted on any of those attractions. So...I don't know what that means. And since I'm in a hetero-monogamous relationship, it isn't likely that I'll explore too much. As it stands right now, I just check out pretty ladies with my boyfriend.

 

I'm also as straight as they come.

 

I wouldn't say that I am as straight as they come, but if there is a spectrum, I am definitely on increasingly straight end of the spectrum. Any experiences I've had with men have done nothing but convince me that I am not into guys.

I had my first crush on a woman when I was in grade one or two. It was, as can be expected for that age, completely unformed. That said, by the time the first stirrings of puberty hit, I was all about girls.

 

In my 6 - 10ish year old era, the neighborhood kids all had some exploration. My best friend at the time and I kinda discovered our clits together. There was some play and exploration at the kid level, but nothing ever past that.
I became the object of some inappropriate attention in middle school that led to shutting down my sexuality for years. I was and am always attracted to men, but I was always the "best friend" and "just one of the guys." I can appreciate beauty of all kinds in all people, regardless of gender, but my sexuality is pretty firmly hetero from what I can discern. I'm not going to rule anything out, I've just never met a chick I'd want to be sexual with.

 

When you figure out the answer, let me know

 

I first liked women (adult) before I knew why I liked them, or what sex was. I liked girls my same age around 4th or 5th grade.

 

Well, I'm straight, and I have always known it. Like, from the time I was a really small boy, I looked at women, and thought about seeing them naked, touching them and having them touch me. And got erections (such as they were). And masturbated. Like, way, way before I was actually capable of ejaculation or any recognizable and consistent orgasm.

I tried consciously to entertain the idea of bisexuality, while I was in college, and had a lot of G/L friends (back then there were just two letters). I failed miserably. I am like the least bi-curious guy I know. I have no objections to homosexuality, either moral, political, or aesthetic, and I count myself a staunch LGBTQ ally. I just have zero interest in fucking dudes, and about 250% interest in fucking women.

I don't know that my sexuality's inspired any changes to my lifestyle per se. I did have to do a certain amount of theoretical and philosophical work, because I was raised by a hardcore second-wave feminist academic, who believed with all her heart that any kind of porn was always and inevitably degrading to women, and anything outside of basically pretty vanilla sex was also probably degrading to women. And, needless to say, I started looking at porn in junior high school, and developed a relatively wide-ranging sexual appetite; yet still counted myself a feminist. I had to hash out for myself a lot of the ideas that eventually got expressed in third-wave feminism, and I was also extremely fortunate to see the rise of the internet by my early 20s, which both helped resolve some questions with more information, and also provided better options in terms of choosing porn, which helped me balance my sexual needs and philosophies with my feminist leanings.

Yaaaaass!! Me too, though I was in college at that point.

 

I've always been attracted to woman as the dominate feature of my character but I've never had any issues with the idea that if the right person came into my life it wouldn't be possible to develop a relationship with them.
In high school reading Heinlein and other books I thought about the idea of three way marriages and it never seemed alien to me as a concept.
Not the idea of sharing a woman but actually be in a full relationship with two other people which would include a physical aspect.
I had two gay friend in high school and recently one of them mentioned that they thought of me as the gayest straight person they knew and that I had helped them a lot in getting through a very tough time during school because I was so accepting in high school.
I'm not attracted to men, I'm just open to loving one.

 

I love this statement.

 

I would say it was around 11-13 years old when I became interested and had a crush on a girl in swim class.

But I have always been an "in the closet" straight person.

 

At about 12 or 13 I realised I was attracted to girls, but seriously thought that all girls were into other girls but just married guys because it was the thing to do.

At about 17/18 I knew I was gay, identified as bi, but tried really hard to be straight.

When I turned 20 and fell in love with my first serious girlfriend and that was it.

Not really. I mean, I had to come out to my parents, which was a huge issue for awhile, but other than that, no. For the past 13 years it hasn't really been a big deal at all, nothing really changed other than normal "finding yourself" things that everyone goes through. 99% of the time I feel no different than anyone else... but then every now and then my sexuality will be eluded to in normal conversations and a weird look will throw me off guard and i'll be reminded that i'm not "normal".

And because i'm not a super butchy dyke i'll sometimes get the question "do you think you'll ever be with a guy?" It's not that i'm completely against it, who knows maybe it'll happen, but I just can't imagine feeling the same way about guys as I do about girls.

 

As a boy I had no idea as to what my sexuality was. I know that I enjoyed sexual interaction with other boys, it was an all male boarding school so what other interaction was available?, I know I was exhibitionist, that I flirted and that I was submissive. I was not homosexual homosexual, just found the sexual interaction with other boys good fun. At Age 18 I discovered women and that made a big change in my sex life.

 

I still don't know and I think that's fine.

I've been with men and women. Sexually and intimately.

I got knocked up by a man, because that's how biology works. I will grow a family with this man and be faithful to my family.

That's where I am now.