1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.
  2. We've had very few donations over the year. I'm going to be short soon as some personal things are keeping me from putting up the money. If you have something small to contribute it's greatly appreciated. Please put your screen name as well so that I can give you credit. Click here: Donations
    Dismiss Notice

Question of the Day #14: How many children?

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by genuinemommy, Oct 7, 2015.

  1. genuinemommy

    genuinemommy Moderator Staff Member

    How many children did you want to have?
    How many children do you now have?

    Is there a large discrepancy between what you wanted at one point in your life, and what you see yourself with presently?

    Perhaps you wanted zero children, and now you've realized that they're not so bad and you chose to have one of your own.
    Maybe you have a dozen children (as a teacher).
    Maybe you father/mother everyone in your life and while you have no biological children, you find yourself filling the role for dysfunctional adults or neighborhood kids...
    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    When I was a teenager, I wanted no less than 10 kids. No joke. I thought it would be a blast to have a bunch of kids running around everywhere. I enjoyed babysitting large groups of children, so I figured it would be even better to have that many myself. I fully expected to adopt a huge portion of those children, so ages would overlap and there would be a playmate for everyone.
    Sound crazy? Yeah... it was. I still have dreams about it occasionally. Everything always works out awesome in those dreams. But the reality of adoption and child rearing is not that rosy picture. There are far too many real-life factors to consider, such as providing for all those kids and making sure they get the attention they need to develop the skills necessary for survival in our modern world.

    I presently have 2 children. And while both my husband and I adore children and could probably manage a house full of 10 kids (and I apparently have no issues producing enough milk for at least 3 babies), we would rather not adopt or foster until our biological children are grown.
     
  2. ralphie250

    ralphie250 Fully Erect Donor

    Location:
    At work..
    i never really ever gave it any thought. as i got older i thought maybe 2, one boy and one girl, but i think thats the ideal. i currently have one daughter. she is 7. i guess its past time ti have another one
     
  3. Stan

    Stan Resident Dumbass

    Location:
    Colorado
    I couldn't have been more indifferent. My wife's biological clock was going off at 25, so I did my part. Apparently, that means supporting them for 30+ years.

    2 was plenty, the thought of them outnumbering us was a bit scary.
     
    • Like Like x 4
  4. Japchae

    Japchae Very Tilted

    I used to want a lot. And then to foster. Then my friends started having kids. Then lots more had kids. Then I stopped wanting any at all. Ever. Reality kills biological clocks.

    And, I've worked with kids my entire life. I love working with them and dread the thought of working with other populations. I've babysat, educated, provided day care, substance abuse treatment, mental health treatment, end-of-life care, assessment, half-parented a friend's kid and now I'm step-parenting from across the country until next year. I feel like I have a solid knowledge base to make my choices. I don't want any of my own. My husband's daughter is a hot mess of a handful and an amazing human being. I'm looking forward to being her Stepmonster in person, but I still don't want any of my own.
     
    • Like Like x 2
  5. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    I'd like 3 or 4...always wanted children. (don't want to adopt...yet)
    Unfortunately have none. Hasn't worked out.
    And I'm not one to just be a baby daddy or be a player.

    Still like to...and still can, but it's difficult to find someone to stick around who can have them and want a guy my age. (the ex absorbed 7 yrs wasted)
    Mother Nature & Fate can be a cruel combo.
    I can only hope.
     
    Last edited: Oct 7, 2015
    • Like Like x 1
  6. Plan9

    Plan9 Rock 'n Roll

    Location:
    Earth
    When I was a naive military guy and got married to a screaming biological clock, I saw myself with one or two. Mostly one based on financial concerns given my career options were pretty limited (or so I thought).

    Then I got divorced and all the magic of family disappeared like a cheap bed sheet down a prison toilet. I think I could handle having a kid now but my current partner has zero interest and, well, we're both getting kinda old.

    Given that the human race is way overpopulated and destroying the planet like-whoa, it's probably for the best that retards like myself avoid having children. I contribute nothing to the gene pool and it's one less gaping maw to feed.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  7. martian

    martian Server Monkey Staff Member

    Location:
    Mars
    I like the idea of kids. I also have the thought that the idea of kids and the reality of kids are two very very different things. But I still think I'd like them. We're at a point in our lives now where the financial burden wouldn't be too onerous, and I think we're as ready as we'll ever be. Apart from that, the clock's ticking; I'm 32 and she'll be 30 in December. That's not too old but it's fair to say that we're closer to the end of the child-bearing phase of our lives than the beginning of it. Apart from that, we don't actually know if (biological) children are a possibility. Her PCOS may have already ruled that out.

    I've never settled on a number, but I think fewer is better. 1-3 seems reasonable. Although the older we get the more our opportunities are going to dwindle.

    I'll probably be a little sad if we never have any, but not too sad. Even though I want them, part of me also thinks we kind of have a good thing going here. We're not really accountable to anyone. We can order pizza and watch anime on a Friday night and just forget all about responsibilities for a while. We can spend all Sunday in bed if it pleases us. We can take off at a moment's notice to do whatever suits us. And also there's the money. Having cash to buy fun toys and do fun things is awfully nice. So, y'know, if it doesn't happen that doesn't exactly seem like an awful consolation prize.
     
    • Like Like x 2
  8. redravin

    redravin Cynical Optimist Donor

    Location:
    North
    I never really planned on a number of children but when the two kiddos came into my life I figured that was pretty damned good.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  9. CinnamonGirl

    CinnamonGirl The Cheat is GROUNDED!

    Growing up, I wanted somewhere between 3-5. I did very briefly (and mostly jokingly) consider the idea of having 9, solely for the reason of having my own baseball team.


    I don't have any. I've toyed with the idea of adopting or fostering, but I'm not really sure that's likely.


    Edited to elaborate: I'm not even sure I can have kids. I've never actively tried, but there were some situations in my 20s where it's honestly kind of mind-boggling that I didn't get pregnant.

    Also, my friends and cousins have kids that I adore, and I get to be "Cool Aunt Cinn," so that's pretty rad.
     
    Last edited: Oct 8, 2015
    • Like Like x 1
  10. POPEYE

    POPEYE Very Tilted

    Location:
    Tulsa

    I had two boys and was outnumbered, still supporting one and he's 26. I must be fucking stupid
     
  11. Chris Noyb

    Chris Noyb Get in, buckle up, hang on, & be quiet.

    Location:
    Large City, TX
    Two.

    None.

    The other questions will require more thought.
     
  12. I always knew I wanted to have children and thought 3 sounded like a good number. That's how many my mom had and it was pretty cool growing up for me.

    I have one. We might be one and done on biological kids. DaddySquirrel isn't know to more kids. He's just worried about me and my body going through another pregnancy. He thinks I lucked out by not having a MS relapse after a c-section as it is quite common after a birth, natural or otherwise. I loved being pregnant, but risking a relapse with two children involved isn't exactly wise. If I did become incapacitated, poor DS would be stuck taking care of 3 humans, although I know BabaSquirrel would help out.

    Adoption isn't off the table yet though.
     
  13. Chris Noyb

    Chris Noyb Get in, buckle up, hang on, & be quiet.

    Location:
    Large City, TX

    Just about every parent I've known in a similar situation has said basically the same thing: Deciding to kick your child out to sink or swim is the toughest decision they've ever made...or didn't make.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  14. Charlatan

    Charlatan sous les pavés, la plage

    Location:
    Temasek
    I never really wanted to have kids. Then, a some point in my early 20s, just before getting married, I considered the possibility and wasn't horrified. In the end, the decision wasn't entirely mine. We have had two kids (one of each) and they are pretty cool. Sure they are a ball ache from time to time, but they are not without their rewards.
     
    • Like Like x 1