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Teen Vogue: Anal Sex

Discussion in 'Tilted Life and Sexuality' started by genuinemommy, Jul 18, 2017.

  1. genuinemommy

    genuinemommy Moderator Staff Member

    • Like Like x 2
  2. fflowley

    fflowley Don't just do something, stand there!

    Oy vey.
     
  3. cynthetiq

    cynthetiq Administrator Staff Member Donor

    Location:
    New York City
  4. Wildmermaid

    Wildmermaid Very Tilted

    Location:
    Pacific Northwest
    First reaction to the title of this thread was one of eyes widening shock but curiosity followed soon after.

    I read the above articles or blurbs in the case of one, and followed most of the relevant the hyperlinks on the above pages.
    As for the original article I think it was well intentioned, but really had some issues with classification and lack of information. I think someone who was an expert on this area should have at least perused if not written it.

    My main issue with the article was that there was no mention of safety in regards to anal/vaginal play without proper preparation, protection, and cleanliness. Going from one to the other can be very dangerous and cause infection without proper care or so I've read. No real mention of condoms, how to make sure toys don't become cross-contaminated, etc. It felt more like a shock piece and less about about actual education.

    The other glaring problem was the lack of clit in diagram, for goodness sake why is that such a hot button (pardon the pun) trigger whenever female sexuality comes up?! Where did it go, which person on the creative team decided that seeing a drawing of clitoris was just taking things too far. Somewhere between writer, illustrator, and editorial team at least one person had to have made that choice.

    It was just an ill conceived article on a topic that could probably use some attention by an actual expert. From this looking back at the past perspective I do know if anal sex had been a topic I could readily have found information on as a teen odds are I would have experimented with it at least a little, and I would have not developed some of the fears I have about it to this day.

    What are your thoughts on the whole thing @genuinemommy ?
    --- Double Post Merged, Jul 18, 2017, Original Post Date: Jul 18, 2017 ---
    "wow, mom burned a copy. I assume she still purchased it. #capitalismwins "
    *laughing tears* Well said @cynthetiq . :)

    Good golly! Well, that will be one way to get people to buy the magazine, that which we are forbidden often sells the most copies. ;) I love that they are covering masturbation, LGBTQ sexuality, and being courageous enough to talk about some socially challenging issues. Now I've not read it so don't know how great the coverage of those topics was, but it is a conversation starter.
     
    Last edited: Jul 18, 2017
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  5. genuinemommy

    genuinemommy Moderator Staff Member

    The first thing that struck me about the diagrams was the lack of clitoris. I couldn't figure out why it was left out, and I became irrationally offended at the oversight. Especially since for me... well I won't go into that here.

    Then I read the article.
    Like many things in this genre of periodical, the article contains no substance.
    It felt like it was written by a man, for men - with a little aside saying that the author has heard that it can be pleasurable for women, too. It seemed to be completely geared for gay men.
    When it comes to safety, it boils it down to: "use lube" and "wear a condom". It doesn't go into much depth about why you should do either. It down-plays fecal matter to a point of hilarity.
     
    • Like Like x 4
  6. Wildmermaid

    Wildmermaid Very Tilted

    Location:
    Pacific Northwest
    I'm still pissed off about the lack of clitoris! What a horrible choice for a magazine aimed primarily at girls to have made!
    --- Double Post Merged, Jul 18, 2017, Original Post Date: Jul 18, 2017 ---
    femaleinternalfix.jpg
    Diagram on scarlet teen from 1999-2007 does a better job illustrating female anatomy including the clitoris. I digress and got off topic, sorry about that.
    --- Double Post Merged, Jul 18, 2017 ---
    Honestly in this day and age vulva is used interchangeably with vagina, and many people really do not seem to know the difference. :( The loss of the clitoris though in an image for teen girls does not encourage self exploration or empowerment in my opinion it is a huge step backwards.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  7. genuinemommy

    genuinemommy Moderator Staff Member

    Yep, that's a much better diagram.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  8. martian

    martian Server Monkey Staff Member

    Location:
    Mars
    "Prostate owner" and "non-prostate owner" is an awkward way to phrase it, I'll grant that, but I would like to point out that not all prostate owners are men, and not all men are prostate owners. The article explicitly acknowledges LGBTQ teens in the intro so I can see why they'd want to be sensitive to that. Probably would have been better to just go with "cismen and transwomen" and "ciswomen and transmen", really, but I'm having a hard time getting too hot under the collar over it. The Independent article feels far too reactionary to me, dismissing transmen as unimportant and failing to acknowledge transwomen at all. It also ignores the fact that the article does discuss how anal sex can be pleasurable for those without a prostate as well. Honestly, the Independent article reads to me as if the author has a negative opinion of anal sex in any form, viewing it as exclusively an exercise for men to pleasure themselves at the expense of women. The fact that a large number of women can and do enjoy anal sex with or without a prostate seems almost entirely unimportant to her. (Aside: I wonder if she knows that lesbian women can and do engage in anal play as well?) This opinion was reinforced when I had a poke through her Twitter feed (here if you want to see it for yourself) and quickly found an article criticizing a menstrual tracking app for trying to be sensitive to transmen. In the world of JJ Barnes it seems to be not okay to acknowledge that not everyone with a prostate is a man and not everyone with a uterus is a woman. If your brand of feminism doesn't include acceptance of trans people then I have a problem with it.

    Lack of a clitoris in the diagram is harder for me to understand. I can only imagine that someone thought it wasn't relevant. Does the clitoris receive stimulation during anal sex? But the bladder, urethra, testes, scrotum, etc also aren't really relevant and they got included. So I'm not sure what's up with that. Some kind of bizarre prudishness I guess? Can one talk plainly about prostate stimulation and still be a prude? Either way it's quite troubling. You'd think there must be at least one person on staff who could look at that at some point and say "hey guys, you missed something."

    I will not dignify a Breitbart article with any kind of a response. I wouldn't have even clicked the link if I'd read the URL beforehand. Breitbart is trash, and not deserving of serious consideration.

    Overall the article seems poorly conceived and not really great. I don't think it's malicious and I don't really read it as defining women solely by their relationship to men. Perhaps if I were a woman my perspective would be different on that one. I do think it's a bit light on substance, which is problematic, and the female anatomy diagram is troubling. Lack of safety information is by far the biggest problem I have with it. I seem to have read the updated version that included more information on this, but it still seems light on details. If you're going to call your article "anal 101" I think more in-depth coverage of how to go about it safely would be a sensible thing to include.

    So I mean, yeah. The article is bad. I don't read the publication but I have a hunch that Teen Vogue is not normally a bastion of literary excellence so maybe that's not surprising? But JJ Barnes seems to have a problem with trans people, and that bugs me just as much. Maybe more. Nobody here is a hero in my view.
     
    • Like Like x 3
  9. redravin

    redravin Cynical Optimist Donor

    Location:
    North
    Over the past couple of years Teen Vogue has been really good about providing articles on politics, sexual identity and other subjects that don't usually show up in magazines of targeted at teen women.
    Which is why this article is a serious disappointment.
    While I understand what they were trying to do it seems like they could have run it past a couple more editors to get exactly the same take provided here.
     
    • Like Like x 3
  10. Charlatan

    Charlatan sous les pavés, la plage

    Location:
    Temasek
    Interesting to see the general response here is not that the article should be burned, but it should be embellished.




    Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
     
    • Like Like x 3
  11. POPEYE

    POPEYE Very Tilted

    Location:
    Tulsa
    I think it's shameful that this material is available to children.
     
  12. Wildmermaid

    Wildmermaid Very Tilted

    Location:
    Pacific Northwest
    Teen Vogue is aimed at teenagers not children. You were once a teen :) did you seek out information and possibly gratification in regards to sex during those years? I know that I did. I read everything I could get my hot little hands on. Lol. While the titillation factor was nice I also searched for truthful information to help me learn and stay safe.
    --- Double Post Merged, Jul 23, 2017, Original Post Date: Jul 23, 2017 ---
    It could have been inclusive, informative, and educational and really it should have been. A series of bad decisions were made and hopefully will be rectified at a later date- no pun intended there.
    @Charlatan what are your thoughts and perspectives on the article?
     
    • Like Like x 1
  13. POPEYE

    POPEYE Very Tilted

    Location:
    Tulsa
    @Wildmermaid if its available to teens its available to children. Teens are children IMHO
     
  14. Wildmermaid

    Wildmermaid Very Tilted

    Location:
    Pacific Northwest
    Teens are not children biologically they are transitioning to young adults. Now socially and emotionally they still tend toward childhood.
    CDC - Child Development, Adolescence (15-17 years old) - NCBDDD

    In my family any mention of bodies and sexuality was forbidden. To inform me about what would happen when I had my period my mom & gramma had a furtive conversation in the car on the way to my aunt, uncle, and cousins house. When we arrived I was handed a booklet from a feminine pad company with a strong christian bias that belonged to my elder female cousin. I was told to go sit down and read it, I did, handed it back, and that was it. That was the only information I had at that point in my life about what changes to expect in my late blooming body. Awful. As I had been raped as a child what this fucking little booklet taught me is that I would grow breasts, hair, and bleed as Eve's payment for sin. :rolleyes:

    I'm a mother of two bright and creative souls. One is a teenager and the other a pre-teen. We discuss mental, physical, and emotional changes, different stages of life and development, and they ask me questions whenever they want to. If I don't know the answer they have the tools to look it up, or I help them find the answers. Though I also paint nudes so they've been around that their whole lives- though not my actually sexual pieces, I work on those privately and keep them away from kids. They've also known their whole lives that I'm bisexual, though I go by pansexual now, and especially the teen's friends come to me when they need to talk about their sexuality, hopes, fears, and lives. My teen's trans friends always know they are safe here and will be supported no matter what.

    As bodies and minds change though the information we give to inform and help them make good decisions also needs to grow with them. Teen Vogue is not promoted to young children its target audience is to pre-teen and teenagers. If we do not keep our children and teens safe, help them see and recognize the autonomy of their bodies and sexuality, and do not teach them that they have the right to choose their own path odds are that they will not make informed decisions.
     
    • Like Like x 4
  15. kramus

    kramus what I might see

    @Wildmermaid I have the impression a big-ass liquid fertilizer truck unloaded all over your life, and you've been freely sharing the fruits of the amazing garden you created with all that unasked-for shit. Thumbs up, miss :)
     
    • Like Like x 2
  16. Wildmermaid

    Wildmermaid Very Tilted

    Location:
    Pacific Northwest
    I like this in more ways than I can ever express! You just rock! Heh the lotus is my symbol because from the muck and mire something must bloom. :) *hugs you*

    Also reading again what I wrote boy oh boy do I wish I could fix a few of the painful grammar mistakes. Also, I use way too many commas. lol.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  17. redravin

    redravin Cynical Optimist Donor

    Location:
    North
    My dad was happy to get us anything that we wanted to read.
    Having this kind of information meant we weren't learning it from the street corner or off the internet (like just about every kind does now).
    That is why I was so disappointed that it was better, that they hadn't done more research.

    Jadzia had 12 and 13 year old kids getting pregnant.
    Knowing about anal and how to give good blow jobs might have served them well.
    I know that sounds flippant but I really hate the idea of kids having kids.


    You seem to have survived and thrived through some pretty dark times.
    That takes a massive amount of strength that I think most people wouldn't recognize.
    I am deeply impressed.

    As to your writing it is fine, (at least you aren't addicted to ellipses like I am).
     
    • Like Like x 1
  18. Wildmermaid

    Wildmermaid Very Tilted

    Location:
    Pacific Northwest
    Your dad was progressive! I think that is wonderful and is the kind of parenthood I aspire to.
    I don't think it is flippant to talk to say you hate that kids are having kids. We have to give them information and the means to protect themselves.

    Thanks for those kind words! <3 We are all of us survivors one way or another. *hug* I too have a love of ellipsis ;) and commas. Lol.
     
  19. POPEYE

    POPEYE Very Tilted

    Location:
    Tulsa
    I will not post to this now pedifile thread again
     
  20. redravin

    redravin Cynical Optimist Donor

    Location:
    North
    Popeye, my friend.
    We are not talking about adults having sex with kids but teenagers having sex with each other and how it is better that they know what is going on then learn it from the bullshit that older kids spout (or from porn).
    When I was 13/14 I was reading The Joy of Sex by Alex Comfort which was pretty advanced for its time.
    It was illustrated, going into things like oral and anal sex.
    I didn't have kids until I was 25 and had been married for 8 years (don't get married at 17, it is stupid but that is another story that has nothing to do with sex).
    I often think we would be better off to distribute it to high schools.
    Like I said, my wife had 12 and 13 year old kids getting pregnant at the school she taught in.
    That is horrible.
    That didn't happen to my daughters because they understood the details of how sex worked at a very early age and knew if they had any questions they could ask.
    The fact is kids are going to have sex.
    It should be safe and they should know WTF they are doing, so no one gets hurt, physically or psychologically.
     
    Last edited: Jul 24, 2017
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