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The AD&D Thread!

Discussion in 'Tilted Entertainment' started by MeltedMetalGlob, Jul 2, 2017.

  1. Wildmermaid

    Wildmermaid Very Tilted

    Location:
    Pacific Northwest
    Hey now back when I was a teen we had 2 and sometimes even 4 girls on our campaigns and we contributed our fair share! :p Plus I did all the artwork for everyone for their characters. I was kept busy. :)
     
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  2. MeltedMetalGlob

    MeltedMetalGlob Resident Loser Donor

    Location:
    Who cares, really?
    I discovered the value of unarmed combat in D&D when it was revealed that a high level fighter without armor or weapons is just a dude who can take it but not dish it out- this became vitally important when you were gaming with a DM who believed sexual assault was a rite of passage in the game.

    To be fair, we are talking about a bunch of 15 year olds, but in his campaign, player characters being raped was standard procedure after being captured... so usually the best thing was to fight to the death and roll up a new character.

    It got to the point where he was basing his adventures on the aftermath of previous violations:

    [​IMG]
    (NOT MAKING THAT UP!)

    Anyway, after I bought a copy of Oriental Adventures I was never caught with my pants down, so to speak. (The DM, frustrated at this, resorted to racism since all my characters were Asian- I had to endure an onslaught of slurs everywhere my character went. )

    Still, it beats being raped.

    On the flip side, the campaigns I adventure in nowadays NEVER have this sort of nonsense, nor did I ever allow it in my own campaigns.
     
    Last edited: Mar 17, 2018
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  3. Wildmermaid

    Wildmermaid Very Tilted

    Location:
    Pacific Northwest
    That dude had some unresolved issues!!!
     
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  4. MeltedMetalGlob

    MeltedMetalGlob Resident Loser Donor

    Location:
    Who cares, really?
    Probably still does; haven't talked to him in decades. :)
     
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  5. Wildmermaid

    Wildmermaid Very Tilted

    Location:
    Pacific Northwest
    Good on you! I would be afraid too! ;) *but really i would be afraid to talk with the man... *shiver*
     
    • Agree Agree x 1
  6. snowy

    snowy so kawaii Staff Member Donor

    Oriental Adventures? That sounds questionable, too.

    Rugs are Oriental. That's about it.
     
  7. MeltedMetalGlob

    MeltedMetalGlob Resident Loser Donor

    Location:
    Who cares, really?
    That's the book's title:
    Oriental Adventures - Wikipedia

    This was back in 1985, so no one thought otherwise about the politically incorrect name.

    Am I the only one who remembers that book? Damn, I must be getting old.
     
    • Funny Funny x 1
  8. snowy

    snowy so kawaii Staff Member Donor

    I like you anyway.
     
    • Like Like x 1
    • Agree Agree x 1
  9. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member Donor

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    I just found a significant disadvantage to playing Halflings

    Problem is when you kill all the baddies and are collecting the loot.
    The magic items that are left over...may not fit a Halfling
    They're all human size.

    Now if you've got a DM that is flexible and allows a size "adjustment" when and if you make a claim...then you're fine.
    But if you get a "stickler" DM...you're screwed.
    That +5 armor that you're normally qualified for...nope, no suit for you. :(
     
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  10. MeltedMetalGlob

    MeltedMetalGlob Resident Loser Donor

    Location:
    Who cares, really?
    See, I disagree with your DM's approach. When I design an adventure, it is specifically customized to each PC. When I lay out treasure, I study the character sheets and see where improvements can be made. If a mage has weak armor class, I'm probably going to throw in a Ring of Protection for him. (It might end up going to someone else, but usually the guys I game with are a fair-minded bunch and see the value of making sure everybody gets the most appropriate items.)

    If a fighter decides to make one of those obscure pole arms his weapon of choice, chances are he's going to run into an enchanted version of that guisarme-voulge/bill hook/spetum/whatever the fuck he's using. :)

    When I get a chance, I'd like to see what kind of campaigns everybody's used to gaming in. I'll provide an example of my own first, but when I get a chance- my post may or may not be lengthy.
     
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    • Agree Agree x 1
  11. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member Donor

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    Fair minded??? What characters are you playing with? :p
    The loot found...tons of arguing and complaining
    No honor amongst thieves...and they're all rogues (my kind of people...;))
    you're lucky if you get that zonked ion stone...a pebble in your hand

    Friggin' holy rollers.
    All high & mighty and stuff...sharin' & thinkin'
    Sacrilege, I tell ye
     
    • Like Like x 1
  12. MeltedMetalGlob

    MeltedMetalGlob Resident Loser Donor

    Location:
    Who cares, really?
    Yeah, I see how your fellow players could complicate things. The DM who lived to rape PCs? Every once in a while he would take a break from raping us and play a character instead, and he was the very definition of mercenary.

    He knew a little about financing, and managed to persuade the DM to allow PCs to collect interest in banks where they would store their gold pieces. He also managed to convince the DM that 30% interest was a mere pittance. "C'mon man, only thirty per cent! That's nothing!"

    In the group, we had a mage who had a poor armor class, and all this guy wanted was a lousy Ring of Protection. Well, the DM put one in and at the end of the adventure the mage plaintively asked for the ring. This mercenary dude suddenly looked at the DM's guide to see what the cost of the ring was, and abruptly announced, "We could sell that ring for thousands! He can't have it!"

    In the end, Mr. Mercenary got his comeuppance: He cheated his way into a million gold pieces, intending to build an unassailable fortress. He started with the wall, and somehow bungled it so he spent ALL his gold on a wall that cost one million gold pieces... and no fortress! (Apparently the DM wasn't as dim as this guy thought.)

    We all laughed at him, as all his efforts produced an expensive wall surrounding an empty courtyard. We said he could put a tent in the middle.

    "There's your fuckin' fortress!" :D

    On an unrelated note, here's another battlefield of mine, a room inside a stronghold accessible only through the Astral Plane- you can see that the Flying Spaghetti Monster can be glimpsed on the stained-glass windows:
    [​IMG]
     
    Last edited: Mar 17, 2018
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  13. Lordeden

    Lordeden Part of the Problem

    Location:
    Redneckhell, NC
    Our pally loves to make friends of various enemies we meet along the way. The latest creature was a lowly goblin he convinced he was the living embodiment of his God. Groak followed us through quite a many sessions, acting as a squire for the pally.

    Well, we get to the local magic shop (Gilmore's Glorious Goods) and we turn 3 dragons worth of random parts (claws, heads, eyeballs, blood, scales) and end up with store credit (to the sum of 600k). My character had no part in it, so I just watched them barter.

    Our newbie in the group got REAL lucky with a Deck of Many Things (All big cards, no wammys) and asked for another. She rolled a 96/100 and then the same area on a preceding roll. GM granted the availability of a deck with 5 cards. It was bought along with equipping the goblin 100k worth of magic armor/weapons. The goblin only really wanted one thing. A Deck of Illusions.

    During the chaos of the haggling, bartering and spending of loot. GM rolled a slight of hand for the goblin and rolled high. Without knowing which deck was which, the goblin picked up the Deck of Many Things.

    He tries the deck out in the Inn and nothing happens, no illusions. He drew two cards (Curse -2 to all saving rolls and a Wish card with 3 wishes), so he goes to his room. Meanwhile the owner of the deck, her "husband" (He is a barbarian of 6 int, she saved his life, he wed her in his mind) and my scholarly character to see what the deck does. We didn't figure it out for quite a bit and the goblin had already drawn all of the cards.

    When we got back, he was taller and stronger ("I wish I was just like the barbarian PC" got his stats), had a tiefling companion, the room was filled with gold and was lord of a local city. He then rode off to fight on the front lines of his fortress.

    Riding off on a fucking huge Direwolf that he got because he said "I wish my mount (a pony) was a lot bigger and scarier looking".

    I miss Groak, he was funny.
     
    Last edited: Sep 28, 2017
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  14. MeltedMetalGlob

    MeltedMetalGlob Resident Loser Donor

    Location:
    Who cares, really?
    I have an NPC story, not quite as good as Groak but still amusing.

    When I create an NPC, he usually stays for the duration of the campaign, unless his luck runs out. In most cases though, he survives to become an extended member of the PC family.

    However, the DM I game with has a distinct dislike for his creations and takes glee in killing them off at the climax of each final battle. I don't know why, but it's hilarious to see each one meet his untimely demise. One particular NPC named Juanbacca (no better description than to say he was a Hispanic Wookiee) joined our group in exploring a strange temple which turned out to be an alien spaceship at the end!

    Well, the spaceship ends up self-destructing and we all barely escape with our lives, with Juanbacca getting flattened by a flying boulder. Inexplicably, the DM decided he was still living, only with half a hit point. It was at this point I asked the DM if I could take Juanbacca back to my humble abode for the rest of his existence.

    When the DM asked why, I simply told him, "He's gonna help me get chicks!" ;)

    [​IMG]

    And he's still there, to this day. :)
     
    Last edited: Mar 17, 2018
    • Funny Funny x 2
  15. DAKA

    DAKA Bent out of shape

    Location:
    Fort Lauderdale
    I don't know if I should say this but I don't have a clue what this is all about....hmmm,I think I remember my kids playing Dungeons and Dragons...they are now 48 and 50... (gulp)
     
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  16. MeltedMetalGlob

    MeltedMetalGlob Resident Loser Donor

    Location:
    Who cares, really?
    This is a few years old now, but I just found it and I think it's hilarious. but only my fellow gamers will appreciate the humor:









    There's more, but this will suffice for now. :)
     
  17. Azharen

    Azharen Getting Tilted

    Location:
    Springfield, OR
    OK. Time delve into this forum.

    So I play mostly 5e. In that system, mostly Adventure League. I think I'll post game summaries of the games I'm playing and DMing. I'll post some background stories of my current characters.
    --- Double Post Merged, Oct 25, 2017, Original Post Date: Oct 25, 2017 ---
    Levi
    Fallen Aasimar; Warlock of the Old One (Hadar); Level 7

    Backstory:

    Born to an Eledrin and human. Born in Waterdeep. A deep sense of pride was instilled in Levi by his father. Father left to serve Mt. Celestia when Levi was still a young boy. Levi hoped to prove he was worthy of being summoned to Mt. Celestia one day and serve along side his father in battle. Love to read tales of knights of old. He spent many days reading large tomes which the great battles that happened in and around Waterdeep.

    Levi met his Celestial Guide, Navi, shortly after his father has to return to Mt. Celestia. Levi was a bit of a wild child, but good at heart. He helped his neighbors, was respectful to the guards and obeyed his mother, mostly. Levi had few friends, but those he had were treasured more than a dragon's horde. A truer friend could not be asked for.

    When Levi was helping his mother or buried deep in piles of books, he could found at the docks pestering Harbor Master and dock hands. Levi had a mild love for the sea. Due in no small part to his father's blood. Not truly knowing what he wanted to do with life, despite Navi's guidance. Levi became a deck hand for one of the local trade ships.

    Levi's world drastically changed one Summer day near the Dessarin River outside the Ardeep Forest. Levi was gathering river moss for his ship's cook when a scream rang out from the forest. Levi was about to break for the scream when Navi forbade him to go. Navi would only tell Levi that walking this path would deviate from what was chosen for him. Another dire scream echoed from the forest. Levi turned his head from Navi and ran into the forest. Levi came upon a Dryad in distress. She bound by a caster of some sort who was preparing some kind of ritual. He taunted her to scream louder. This part of the forest was seldom traveled by foot. Levi was more brains and charms than muscle. He wasn't sure what to do. While the caster was struggling to subdue the Dryad, Levi ceased the opportunity to strike. Levi had made his way close using the brush as cover. When the caster's hands were occupied trying to restrain his victim, Levi sprang from bushes, dagger in hand.

    Levi buried the blade deep into the caster's back while knocking him to the ground. Levi clumsily stabbed at his foe until the caster no longer moved. Levi freed the Dryad. She explained that the caster was a mage attempting to use her as a blood sacrifice. The two disposed of the body and the casting components. The Dyrad, Chameli, was eternally grateful to Levi for saving her life. Levi and Chameli talked until Levi saw it was late. He would miss his ship if he didn't hurry. Levi promised to visit again.

    Levi's soul was on fire as he hurried back to town. Levi did indeed miss his ship. When it returned in a 10 day, the first mate came to Levi's home. Levi had been taken with fever. The sailor told Levi's mother that Levi was dismissed by the ship's captain. Levi had terrible nightmares of his crew perishing in the deep. Images of Celestials on fire wracked his dreams.

    When Levi finally woke from his crazed fever, his mother had to give him awful news. The ship Levi served ran aground off the coast of Icewind Dale. Much of the crew was lost. Levi ran to shore and wept for loss of his friends. Navi finally appeared before Levi. She showed him a vision of Levi being the one to guide his ship through the storm that scuttled it. Navi looked at Levi with tear-filled eyes and slowly faded into nothing. The emptiness in his soul was proof that Levi had fallen and would not be by his father's side in battle.

    In his mourning Levi heard whispers calling him closer and deeper into the sea. Levi slowly walked out into the darkness of the sea until it had a hold of him. The whisper became a booming voice. It asked if Levi wanted a new purpose in life. If Levi was willing to fill the hole in his soul with something else. In his pain and regret, Levi agreed to the terms. Levi woke to find himself on the shore, clothes tattered and torn; and scar shaped like a cresting wave on his chest.

    The young Aasimar scoured the library looking for the symbol that is now etched on his body. Levi found reference to an Elemental Prince called HADAR. Speaking the name aloud, Levi's vision went black. He could only see two enormous eyes gazing down on him. "I like the sharpness of your mind, Celestial." "You will hone that sharpness and use it to serve me." "The one you saved is a servant of mine." "Search her out and she will guide you well." "Our pact is complete." "You are as free as the seas are vast, but know you serve me." When Levi finally came to, he knew he was now a Warlock.

    Levi traveled back to the Ardeep Forest. He seemed to be guided to a small hidden shrine. It bore the same cresting wave symbol. Chameli stepped out from the brush. "Our master told me of your arrival." "We and many others help to keep the peace and fight evil along the Sword Coast." "I and certain others, work with the Harpers to achieve this goal." "I will vouch for you, and you too will serve as I do." "Now I must thank you properly for saving my life on that fateful day." The two embrassed and kissed.

    Now a Warlock and a Harper, Levi journeys forward down the path he chose for himself. A new life, a new love and a new purpose.
     
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  18. Azharen

    Azharen Getting Tilted

    Location:
    Springfield, OR
    So I was going to write a synopsis on the Tuesday game I play with my Streaming Crew. But this past Tuesday was so entertaining, I decided to post the VOD. I doubt many will watch the whole 3 hours, but this should give you an idea of the shenanigans we get up to.

     
    • Like Like x 1
  19. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member Donor

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    No natural 20 needed
    You're going to love no matter what side comes up :D
    [​IMG]
     
    Last edited: Oct 26, 2017
    • Like Like x 1
  20. Azharen

    Azharen Getting Tilted

    Location:
    Springfield, OR
    ???