What if there is one perfect person for you, and you miss them?

What is one supposed to do?

My password for some stuff used to be VAMPYREnnnn and I only ever knew one person in my life who asked me if it was an "I" or a "Y"

(yes, this might make me a pretentious prick, but that's secondary to the point I'm making)

What if she was the only person who even understood me?

What if I walked away from it just because I took the easy option of following my job with the company who bought my old place of work to Birmingham... and now in ten years time I'll either be dating people I dont even like or playing World of Warcraft every weekend for 20 hours...

Yes, Im a bit drunk... but what a wanker I am.

If I date someone better looking, or cleverer, or with bigger breasts (or uglier, stupider, flat chested - or even as ugly and banal and unattractive as I am) - when I look in her eyes she wont look in my eyes as Nadia did.

 

Fortunately you will wake up from this pathetic drunkenness tomorrow and have the chance to meet the next girl of your dreams.
Will you seize the opportunity or continue to be a drunken wanker?

 

There's... what? Something along the lines of 10 billion or so people on this planet?

The chances that you'll only ever emotionally connect with one of them are pretty slim, I'd think.

Of course, that's not the real worry here. It seems to me that the real worry is you didn't get as far into the story you made for yourself and this girl as you would have liked to. You're now stuck on the old "What if?"

There's only two things to remedy that kind of worry. Find a way to progress that story or give it time to forget about it and move on.

 

Suddenly...

...

I'll add more to this topic later.

 

I lost several "one perfect person for me" before I finally found the one who really was. Fortunately, I never lost hope or closed my heart to the possibility.

 

Any chance of getting Nadia back? If not, be patient and keep yourself open and available for the next one.

 

One of my favorite songs, and so on topic.

 

There will only be one Nadia, true. But another thing to remember is that things definitely do look differently in the short-term as they end up in the long-term. Maybe things were ripe and perfect in that moment in time, maybe given some months things would have spoiled with regret. Instead of wondering what would have been if you kept the girl you may have wondered what if you would have kept the job. I can't help but think that if things were so ideal and perfect, there would have been no question of moving apart.

What if's will kill you if you dwell on them hard enough.

 

"She was 1 in a million so there's 5 more just in New South Wales"

 

I definitely don't believe that there's only one "perfect match" out there for a person. I've found two, one of whom I married. And I found two more who, if they weren't perfect matches, were awfully fucking close. And that's only in 35 years (I stopped looking since I got married, of course).

Trust me, if you missed a perfect match, there's still another one waiting somewhere out there. You just have to have faith that if you try to be together and balanced, love yourself and be open to loving others, the universe will see to it that you find someone else together and balanced who loves themselves and you as well.

 

If you missed them, how do you know they were perfect?

 

Meh.

The first girl I was in a serious relationship with seemed like the perfect girl to me, especially in the first 3 months.

After that, pudding hit the fan. Many, many small and ever-increasing puddings kept hitting the fan quicker and quicker. All in all, a great learning experience.

Like others before, I wonder whether your relationship ended at a stage where you only saw the good and didn't get to see the bad stuff rising up.

 

25 years ago I have my heart to a then, 15 year old girl. I was 17. her parents moved her away to get her away from me and my friends. We lost contact, during the next 20 years, not a month went by that I didn't think about her, and smile. I always wondered, what if...

fast forward 20 years, thanks to Facebook, we got back in contact, she has moved to the same city I live in to be with me, and I anticipate we will be living together in a few months.

Yeah, it's a sappy romantic story, and I love it.

that's what if...

 

I was expecting this to end "and wow did I dodge a bullet"

 

Huh. Some of my posts here have disappeared... But not the one that ought to

 

Kinda like your dreams and memories, huh?

...

Strange, I think everybody here can relate to the thread topic. I have no idea why you want to delete it other than maybe pullin' a typical Plan9 where you type something remotely revealing and then immediately regret it. Either way, I just wanted to tell you that you should know that these thoughts are completely normal. I spent a good chunk of 2007 in an alcoholic haze doing inmate exercises because I was getting a divorce from The One.

My relationship history makes me sound like fucking Goldilocks, bro. And it would be the easy way out to be a broken emo (*Facebook stalker*) or get all bitter about it ("Fuck women!"). I'll explain: When I got married, I was so sure that I would spend the rest of my life with that woman. But she wanted to start popping out kids before I could even get my foot in the door of a college classroom and wanted me to relegate myself to a career path that I wasn't interested in because I have ambitions outside being a family man. "This one is too hot." Then I met another great girl who I thought I'd put a ring on because we had a great connection. That didn't work out because she wasn't ready for that kind of relationship and had pursuits that didn't line up with mine. Regardless of whatever petty personal conflicts we had, she wasn't happy with her current location and career path and thus couldn't invest in the relationship. "This one is too cold." I started going on a lot of dates after that. I stopped trying to find "the one" and realized that there are a ton of people out there looking for companionship and that, with a little work, bloody hell, anybody can be the one. I'm currently in a relationship with a girl that has lasted three times as long as any relationship I've ever had in my entire goddamn life (yeah, wow) and it's with a woman that I have little in common with aside from personal strengths and individual ambitions. She doesn't like horror movies, has no interested in zombies, guns, punk music or fancy beer. But something works. "This one is just right." Or maybe not. I don't need The One, just a good sidekick.

Either way, though... I know that if my current girlfriend decides to sprout wings and flips me the old Double Eagle that I'm not going to be alone for very long. I do miss my previous relationships; they were with good women. But they're gone. And I now know I can make it work with just about anybody. And you can, too. Just decide when you want to move on and commit to being good as an individual, not a Stage 5 Clinger.