Your own worst enemy...

Procrastination is, by far, one of my worst faults, and one with which I've struggled for years and have made little to no progress in tackling or taming. It's especially bad in dealing with logistical, grownup get-your-ass-in-gear-and-deal-with-this shit that hangs over my head and becomes more and more difficult to tackle the longer I put it off.

The procrastination thing probably has something to do with putting off meals or skipping them entirely, especially while I'm at work. When I am eating, especially lately, I'm usually eating some pretty unhealthy stuff. I crave junk food constantly and give into these cravings all too often.

My procrastination tendencies go hand in hand with some pretty horrible time management skills, a very skewed perception of time itself and the fact that, at times, I'm running late for just about everything—I'd like to issue a blanket, worldwide apology to everyone I have ever kept and will ever keep waiting due to my late dumbass, but the world doesn't work that way.

Speaking of running late, I stay awake far later into the night than I should. And I know better, I just don't do anything about it.

I am also non-confrontational to a fault, which can often lead to some nasty passive aggressive behavior, of which I'm not proud at all.

I'm happy to say that whole dishonesty thing is finally coming under control, and that makes me very happy.

 

Have you considered that you might have ADD? I say that because those affects and more are all part of my ADD.

 

Oh, no question.
--- merged: Nov 21, 2013 at 4:07 PM ---

And this. Definitely this.

 

I've been meaning to start a Procrastinator's Club, but I never seem to get around to it.

 

I have most of the faults mentioned so far. I procrastinate. I'm self-indulgent. I'm undisciplined. I'm lazy. I overeat. I manage time poorly.

I'm a slob. Everything in my life is disorganized, except those things I care deeply about. My books are shelved in order, but I don't know where my birth certificate is.

I claim to treat everyone with courtesy and respect, and tend to forget how often I fail to.

I have such a high regard for my own opinions that I'm impatient with people who hold contrary views.

I pretend not to care what people think of me, but it's just a pose.

I'm overeducated and overcredentialed, but fortunately, no longer underpaid.

 

Control freak.
Need to have a plan. Do not like to be spontaneous, unless it is something that is not too time-consuming. Speaking of time, I don't manage it well. It gets away from me, but then, I'm stubborn in that I want to finish tasks, not leave them hanging, even if by doing so I get behind elsewhere.
I'm a clutterphobe. A disorganized environment distracts me. I like clean and organized, not cluttered, messy or dirty.
Environmental noise distracts me like crazy. I'd never survive in an office with the buzzing and coughing and throat-clearing (well, I might, but the noise-makers would not). Attention deficit? Yes, most likely, with a couple other labels thrown in for good measure.
Probably a biggie: I have a low tolerance for stupidity. And I don't mean IQ; I mean deliberately being uninformed, even flaunting it and not caring to become more learned. I have disdain for ppl who lack curiosity. I do not like mean or cruel ppl. Conversely, I tend to put smart, witty, compassionate ppl on a pedestal.

 

This, for sure.

My nihilistic views too often get the better of me, and it might kill me someday.

I don't value myself enough to talk about my problems, and it's probably going to kill me someday.

I over-analyze everything, especially myself, and that's also going to kill me someday.

I have horrific sleeping, eating, and drinking habits, and those are definitely going to kill me someday, if the other three don't get me first.

 

This. I ruminate about going crazy.

 

Ya, I also have a tendency to be non-confrontational, just because I can be a really mean person. I either hold it all in or come off as an asshole. Once, in Starbucks, I accidentally got in at the front of the line because I hadn't noticed there was one, and a lady rudely informed me of my folly. I then thanked her, loudly, for being so rude and unnecessarily hostile in an effort to help me correct my faults, and her face turned all red. That was one of the less hurtful outbursts. I'm good at saying the exact worst thing possible, and usually there's tears. Either that, or I wait and take some stupid revenge later. When I was young, my sister was a brat, and it always annoyed the crap out of me. On one occasion, when I was... twelve, I think, I strung up thread in a web around her room attached to the limbs of her favorite stuffed animal, so every time she touched one it ripped a little bit. Recently, I bought dozens of the stretchy book covers and snuck into her house while she was away to cover ever book she had. It was fun. I've been better at just letting things go, recently, though.

Oh, and I have a bad tendency of thinking that everybody who wouldn't do what I would do in a situation, or has differing views, is an idiot. Only major stuff, though. Like shutting down the government, having idiotic views on gay rights, and being in the Westboro Baptist Church. They live really close, and if the church had a face, I would punch it. I was there when they protested SAMO High. I also just love to mess with people. It's more of a calling than a hobby.

 

I've become somewhat of a lackadaisical student. Not that I will ever allow myself to fail, just that I'm tired of it. I still love clinicals and labs and all of the practical things that I do in nursing school, but I will put off studying and writing to such an extent now that I ended up with a B in one of my classes last semester. So which is being my own worst enemy? Fearing that I will be less of a person if I make a B? Or allowing myself to neglect studying and make a B? I'm not sure, yet. Mostly I don't care. Maybe that's being my worst enemy. Or maybe over-analyzing every fucking thing that I do is being my own worst enemy.

 

This pretty much explains why my desk is the disaster area it is. It's a conflict of job description, I think. They say I'm here for customer service and sales. Then they require a bunch of paperwork that would devour 2/3 of my days if I gave them everything they ask.

 

Impatience. Often good to have when dealing professionally with the many lazy people in the third world, but it's just as much a bad thing for me.

Makes me stressed, which (after a while) can make me very irritable, leading -if the cause for the stress continues- all the way to blowing a gasket and possibly being extremely harsh to the wrong person.

God. All those tears.

 

I am also a procrastinator. I always wait until the last minute. It's just difficult to get going on things, like for work or even when it comes to cleaning. I also stay up too late. I'm a night owl. I have to wake up at 6am for work and I hate it, lol. When I have work, I'll stay up until 1am. I know I shouldn't do it but I hate going to bed early, lol. I will also take naps after work so that also does not help the situation.
--- merged: Dec 29, 2013 at 5:17 PM ---
I also don't manage time that well, lol.