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Baraka_Guru
Last activity:
Feb 12, 2016 at 3:14 PM
Joined:
Jul 14, 2011
Messages:
11,853
Likes Received:
9,206
Trophy Points:
123
Gender:
Male
Location:
Toronto
Occupation:
Editor

Baraka_Guru

Möderätor, Male, from Toronto

Am I not in chat? Jan 23, 2016

Baraka_Guru was last seen:
Feb 12, 2016 at 3:14 PM
    1. Baraka_Guru
      Am I not in chat?
    2. Baraka_Guru
      But quarterbacks are always looking for a first "Taon."
      1. Lindy likes this.
      2. Lindy
        Lindy
        I didn't uh... "catch" this the first time I read it. It went over my head like an overthrown forward pass.
        Nov 28, 2015
      3. Baraka_Guru
        Baraka_Guru
        Ha. I thought maybe it was too lame.
        Nov 28, 2015
    3. Baraka_Guru
      Every time Plan9 posts, I hear it narrated in the voice of Henry Rollins.
      1. Plan9
        Plan9
        Try Nicolas Cage. It's a better fit.
        Oct 21, 2015
      2. Baraka_Guru
        Baraka_Guru
        You're probably right. But are we talking "Castor Troy" Nicolas Cage or "The Wicker Man" Nicolas Cage?
        Oct 21, 2015
    4. Baraka_Guru
      My cock is called Stanley because it's a power drill with two-speed high-torque, high output, and a 3-year guarantee.
      1. Plan9
        Plan9
        Too bad that guarantee expired in 1997! OooOOOoo! Burn!
        Oct 17, 2015
      2. Baraka_Guru
        Baraka_Guru
        Sick burn, bro, especially since I wouldn't lost my virginity for another three years.
        Oct 17, 2015
    5. Baraka_Guru
      ... I am no less an illusion, and being thus, the illusion is real to me. I live, I burn with life, I love, I slay, and am content.
    6. Baraka_Guru
      I pity the fool we all suffer!
    7. Baraka_Guru
      TECHNOTRONIC'D!
    8. Baraka_Guru
      I drink the honey inside your hive.
    9. Baraka_Guru
      I'm Batman!
    10. Baraka_Guru
      All eyes on Alberta this week.
    11. Baraka_Guru
      Ge smak daun, gyon op nodotaim.
    12. Baraka_Guru
      "The universe is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper." —Eden Phillpotts, A Shadow Passes
    13. Baraka_Guru
      Your sorcery knows no bounds.
    14. Baraka_Guru
      Arcane abjuration isn't as flashy as evocation, but it's kind of a big deal.
      1. snowy likes this.
    15. Baraka_Guru
      Oh, I've *found* my calling, but I've got bills to pay, yo.
    16. Baraka_Guru
      The Force Awakens teaser trailer was released today, and I've had multiple nerdgasms.
    17. Baraka_Guru
      It must be a conspiracy.
    18. Baraka_Guru
      It is a truth universally acknowledged, that those with the rankest of opinions have the unsoundest of logic.
    19. Baraka_Guru
      Cooo, loo, coo, coo, coo, coo, coo, coooo!
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    I can't remember anything. I remember only ideas and sensations.
    —James Joyce, Ulysses (1922)

    “Humankind cannot bear very much reality.”
    —T. S. Eliot, “Burnt Norton,” Four Quartets (1943)

    About

    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Toronto
    Occupation:
    Editor
    The details of my life are quite inconsequential. But very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen-year-old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy, the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical — summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring, we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent, I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds — pretty standard, really. At the age of twelve, I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen, a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum, it's breathtaking, I suggest you try it —