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Old 04-28-2010, 12:02 PM   #1 (permalink)
I'm calmer than you are, dude
Walt's Avatar
Location: North Carolina
My very first Nigerian scam email - big day for me!

As the title would suggest, I recieved my very first Nigerian 419 today and had to share it with the rest of the class.

From: Walt
To: melissaroland52@xxxxx
Subject: RE: $800 / 3br - 3 br / 2 ˝ ba / Single-Family Home
Date: Wed, 28 Apr 2010 15:35:33 -0400


You seem to be a very caring and good-spoken man. I feel blessed that a man would be willing to make a fantastic rental dwelling available to people, both rich and poor. Ours is a great God! I do consider myself to be somewhat wealthy, but I am in sincere hopes that this will not hurt my chances of inhabiting your lovely dwelling. I am very excited to meet with you. Your charitable Crusade in West Africa has caused me to wish to enter in to a blissful business relationship you. I would be proud knowing that my rent dollars would be going to spread the word of God.

I am sure you have received many correspondenceses of people wishing to inhabit your dwelling. It is my wish that you would choose to only me to the first to penetrate you based upon our shared admiration of Jesus and West Africa. Because of my eagernes to penetrate your dwelling, I have printed and filled out the rent application and I have also visited my bank and have withdrawn $ 2,200 to cover the first and last months rent as well as a deposit for securities. My parents do not approve of this, but they are very wealthy and do not like helping humanity. It is none of their business to know what I am wanting to have with the monies they give me. I trust we may keep our business dealings in the biggest confidence.

My time schedule is free all week long so it is with a hopeful heart that we can meet and I may deposit my monies and application in your trust. I look forward to your trust and urgent reply. Soon all your base are belong to us!

In Jesuses Name,



Date: Wed, 28 Apr 2010 11:29:11 -0700
From: melissaroland52@xxxxx
Subject: Re: $800 / 3br - 3 br / 2 ˝ ba / Single-Family Home
To: Walt

Hello Dear,

Sorry for the late response!!!!It is a great pleasure that you are interested in my house.. actually we want to sell the house before but now we decided to rent if out because of love for humanity and so we can assist people,that is why i made the house so inexpensive because i believe everybody deserves a home both the rich and the poor. Thanks for your email and it is my gladness hearing from you.i am the owner of the house you are making enquiry of.I am looking for responsible tenants that he/she is going to take care of the house as if it were your own and he/she will be willing to make the Property clean as we left it.Actually I resided in the house with my family,such as my wife and my only daugther before and presently we had packed due to my transfer from my working place and now situated in the (West Africa Nigeria)and won't be coming to the House until Five years now and that means we are renting the Property for long term and short term lease is also acceptable. and presently my house is still available for rent $800 which the deposit is $600 dollars including the utilities like Heat, A/C in wall/window, Hydro, cable, Garbage Disposal, Fireplace , Fridge, stove, Dishwasher, Dryer, Breakfast Bar, Dining Table and Sofa Set,Refrigerator,Canopied deck overlooking nature.,internet access e.t.c .,it is furnished or if u wish to move in with your furnitures no problem..Moreso Now, i went for a Crusade in West Africa .Pls i want you to note that,i am a kind and honest man and also i spent alot on my property that i want to give you for rent,so i will solicit for your absolute mentenance of this house and want you to treat it as your own,is that taken, it is not the money the main problem but want you to keep it tidy all the time so that i will be glad to see it neat when i come for a check up.i do that once in a while...I also want you to let me have trust in you as i always stand on my word.
FIRST NAME:__________________
MIDDLE NAME: _________________
LAST NAME: __________________
PROFESSION: ________________
PHONE (____) __________
(CELL)PHONE (____) __________
(WORK)PHONE (____) __________
KIDS _____ (YES/NO), HOW MANY ________
PRESENT ADDRESS: _____________________
CITY: _______________
STATE: ______________
ZIPCODE: ____________
NAME OF PET: _____________
KIND OF PETS: _____________
DO YOU SMOKE? ______________
DO YOU DRINK? ______________
Looking forward to hear from you with all this details so that i can have it in my file incase of issuing the receipt for you and contacting you.Await your urgent reply so that we can discuss on how to get the document and the key to you,please we are giving you all this base on trust and again i will want you to stick to your words,you know that,we do not see yet and only putting everything into Gods hand,so please do not let us down in this our property and God bless you more as you do this. you can call me on (+2347040529946) or (+2348090837693)



Month Rent:$800


Pet policyk

Thanks and Remain Bless


From: Walt
Subject: $800 / 3br - 3 br / 2 ˝ ba / Single-Family Home
To: melissaroland52@xxxxxxxx
Date: Tuesday, April 27, 2010, 4:48 PM


I recently came across your advertisement for the house on Craigslist. If possible, I'd like to make an appointment to come see the house.

Calmer than you are...
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Old 04-28-2010, 12:07 PM   #2 (permalink)
I Confess a Shiver
Plan9's Avatar
Penetrate. AYBABTU. Hahah. This is comedic gold.
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

Last edited by Plan9; 04-28-2010 at 12:09 PM..
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Old 04-28-2010, 01:35 PM   #3 (permalink)
Done freeloading here
freeload's Avatar
Location: on my ass :) - Norway

Our story with scammers wasn't as nice. We where trying to sell our car. When the ad expired someone reused the text, the licence plate no's and created an email account in my wifes name.

Only nice thing is I emailed them as a prospective buyer to get more information, so we exhanged some mails while my wife was down at the police station to report it.

Scamming is best when it's not personal
The future ain't what it used to be.
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Old 04-28-2010, 07:38 PM   #4 (permalink)
Currently sour but formerly Dlishs
dlish's Avatar
Super Moderator
Location: Australia/UAE
Crusade? with a capital C? this should be interesting...

oh god bless your eyes Walt...cant wait to hear more
An injustice anywhere, is an injustice everywhere

I always sign my facebook comments with ()()===========(}. Does that make me gay?
- Filthy
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Old 04-29-2010, 12:02 AM   #5 (permalink)
Getting it.
Charlatan's Avatar
Super Moderator
Location: Lion City
All your base are belong to us!
"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke
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Old 04-29-2010, 11:30 AM   #6 (permalink)
I'm calmer than you are, dude
Walt's Avatar
Location: North Carolina
RE: $800 / 3br - 3 br / 2 ˝ ba / Single-Family Home
From: Walt
Sent: Thu 4/29/10 3:14 PM
To: melissaroland52@xxxxxxx


Thank you very much for your courteous and prompt reply. I would like to apologize for my poor grammar and spelling in the previous email. It must have been offensive to an educated and worldly man such as you. I must admit that I was suffering from a broken heart and had been drinking too much. Yesterday, you see, would have been the birthday of my close friend, Donny. He and I were avid league bowlers. 15 months ago we were living together in Los Angeles and we were attacked by a group of Nihilists as we were leaving the local bowling alley. In the ensuing chaos, Donny suffered a heart attack. He died before the medevac chopper arrived. You may have heard about this as the Nihilists who attacked us were members of a members of a pop-synth band called “Autobahn” that was popular in the 80’s. Nihilists! Fuck me. I mean, say what you like about the tenets of National Socialism, dude, at least it's an ethos.

Donny was a good bowler, and a good man. He was one of us. He was a man who loved the outdoors... and bowling, and as a surfer he explored the beaches of Southern California, from La Jolla to Leo Carrillo and up to Pismo. He died, like so many young men of his generation, he died before his time. In His wisdom, the Lord took him, as He took so many bright flowering young men at Khe Sanh, at Langdok, at Hill 364. These young men gave their lives. And so would Donny. Donny, who loved bowling. His name was Theodore Donald Karabotsos. In accordance with what we thought his dying wishes might well have been, we committed his final mortal remains to the bosom of the Pacific Ocean, which he loved so well. Good night, sweet prince.

I hope you can understand my reasons for drinking too much.

I can tell from your kind words and your blessed work in Nigeria that you are a good and trustworthy man. I was dishonest with you in my previous email. Please allow me to unburden my heavy heart before you decide to allow me the honor of renting your wonderful home. I am telling you this because I think of you now as a friend, not a stranger. I hope you will be my friend. Because of our relationship, I will respect your decision to not allow me to rent your home due to my lie because this is what happens! This is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass! I have no desire to fuck you in the ass any longer, and so will be honest:

I am not a Christian. I am Shomer Shabbos. It is a form of orthodox Judaism. For example; Saturday, Melissa, is Shabbos, the Jewish day of rest. That means that I don't work, I don't drive a car, I don't fucking ride in a car, I don't handle money, I don't turn on the oven, and I sure as shit don't fucking roll! Shomer Shabbos! I was born Polish Catholic, though converted 5 years ago when I married my now ex-wife, Cynthia. I have often been told that I should return to Jesus, but c’mon dude. When you get divorced you turn in your library card? You get a new license? You stop being Jewish? How could anyone turn their back on three thousand years of beautiful tradition, from Moses to Sandy Koufax?

Again, I am sorry for misleading you to believe that I was Christian. If you do no longer wish to allow me to rent your beautiful home, I will understand. If you are willing to look past our religious differences and forgive my previous lie, please let me know and I will be happy to wire you the deposit tomorrow.

Calmer than you are,



Date: Wed, 28 Apr 2010 13:18:03 -0700
From: melissaroland52@xxxxxxx
Subject: RE: $800 / 3br - 3 br / 2 ˝ ba / Single-Family Home
To: Walt

Thanks you very much for your reply, i can see your willingness in this House. I want you to know that i'm satisfied with your profile and also believe l can trust in you because l will not like to experience what l experienced from my last tenant again, l showed your profile to my wife and daughter , they said they are ok with it. l want you to know that we can let you stay in my House till the period of time you wish to. I want you to know that the rent fee is among the House utilities all included, so you can use them anytime but make sure you take proper care of my properties.We will come and pay you a visit after you have moved into my House to see how you are maintaining it,I will be receiving the payment from you via Western Union because l think it reliable,secured and fast, and moreover, my Christain team and I, got into Nigeria just few weeks back and we have been trying to settle down for our purpose. This has made it difficult for me to set up a bank account here for transaction like this. But nevermind, I will be setting up one (Joint Account, for my wife and I) before the end of this year.l wish you best of luck in your work, from your profile l can see that you are responsible and a hard working person may the almighty Lord lead you in what ever you wish to do. you can drive by the house today.Please once again, i want to trust you and i hope you do not dissapoint us and i promise you that, you will love the house and not only, a good relationship bewtween us. The following documents are here with us as i couldnt find anyone whom i could trust to drop them with for this purpose. But nevermind, the FEDEX service will do for that.In doing this, you will need to make a security deposit payment which is refundable (should incase you dont like the house) to enable the shipment of the Keys and document to your current address that i have here in the rental form, afterwhich you could move in at your convenience.The rent starts counting when you move in and after 24 hours of moving in, you will be required to make the first month rental fees. Here are the contents of the document that needs to be sent.

1) Entrance and the rooms Keys
2) Paper/Permanent House form(Containing your reference details)
3) The House documented file.
4) Payment Receipt.
5) Full address and description of the house.

As soon as the payment is been confirmed by me, l will go ahead and commence on how the House Keys / Documents will be delivered to you and i will ensure that i book for the 24 hours FEDEX delivery service as to enable you receive it on time and as scheduled. Let me hear back from you as soon as possible so that i can arrange for the delivery. Get back to me via email or call me on (+2347040529946) if you will need me to send you the information which you will use to make the payment via western union to me in west africa,

Thanks and Remain Blessed....
Calmer than you are...
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Old 04-29-2010, 06:56 PM   #7 (permalink)
Currently sour but formerly Dlishs
dlish's Avatar
Super Moderator
Location: Australia/UAE
i love how he writes things of importance like House and Keys in capitals.
An injustice anywhere, is an injustice everywhere

I always sign my facebook comments with ()()===========(}. Does that make me gay?
- Filthy
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big, day, email, nigerian, scam

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